This makes me want a puppy, and this makes me want a talking Jesus doll:

I can’t believe this has existed for months and nobody told me until today. The talking Jesus doll is available on Amazon for $19.95. Puppy not included. (Thanks for the tip, Sarah!)

Come forth, little puppy, and let me dine on thy young puppy meat ...
Jess arranging her puppies | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Jess, our border collie puppy | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Jess the Lonely Puppy - Scholastic Book Club
Steven Seagal could be sued for killing a puppy
Sheriff Joe Arpaio — himself no stranger to reality television — to raid the house of alleged cockfighter Jesus Llovera ... Also a casualty of the raid: Llovera’s 11-month-old puppy. Now the accused animal abuser is threatening to sue ...
How could you turn down these pups? Magnificent seven searching for new homes after being abandoned
The parents have been named Jane and Jim, and their four-week-old puppies have been called Jade, Jess and Jack. The centre has also taken a litter of eight-week-old Jack Russell crosses and a Staffordshire bull terrier crossbreed called Ashley.
Comments (13)
  1. That’s pretty much my childhood right there.

  2. I love this. Jesus sounds uncannily like HAL.

    By the way, have you guys noticed that whenever Da Cake Eatur is unaccountably absent… so is An American Patriot?

  3. It’s like watching a little puppy exorcism.

  4. Obviously the puppy is the antichrist.

  5. Everyone should be afraid of the almighty Jesus…

  6. Marcus  |   Posted on Apr 16th, 2009

    Pretty much the reception Jesus got.

  7. Wouldn’t it have been cool if Jesus had a really high nasal voice?

  8. Holy shit. Stephen Hawking is going to be PISSED when he sees this.

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