A routine wikipedia search for Pay It Forward actually turns up two separate results. One, obviously, is for the Haley Joel Osment film that we are about to discuss, but the other entry is for the very idea of paying it forward, which can supposedly be traced back to Benjamin Franklin?

The concept was described by Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22, 1784:

“I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.”

So Benjamin Franklin is responsible for this movie? Uh oh, someone should probably check his grave. I have a feeling the one he has has been rolled in too much! (I discovered eleczingcity!)

Pay It Forward is about an 11-year-old boy (Haley Joel Osment) growing up in Las Vegas, who is given a daring Dead Poets Society assignment by his burn-faced new social studies teacher (Kevin Spacey). He is told to come up with a way to change the world for the better and put it into action. So he brings a homeless heroin addict to his house and gives him cereal and then tells the homeless heroin addict to help three other people, I guess by giving them cereal. Meanwhile, his mom (Helen Hunt) is a stripper who hides vodka in the washing machine. As his social experiment progresses, Haley Joel Osment groes increasingly despondent about its chances for success. Maybe an 11-year-old can’t change the world after all (SPOILER ALERT: correct). He tries to help Old Burnsides, Kevin Spacey, by setting him up on a date with his stripper mom, because according to Haley Joel Osment the point is for the good deeds to be difficult, and nothing is more difficult than getting your mom and your teacher laid at the same time? Now that the teacher and the mom are in love, the abusive ex-boyfriend dad shows up. Oh no! Then he goes away. Oh yay! But Kevin Spacey refuses to forgive Helen Hunt for choosing the abusive ex over him, because he is burned because of abuse, and now he is burned twice, one time in his heart. MEANWHILE, Jay Mohr is a freelance reporter whose car is destroyed in an accident. A mysterious man appears out of the rain and gives him a Jaguar and tells him to pay it forward. Naturally, this is going to be such a great newspaper article, so eventually Jay Mohr traces the story all the way back to Haley Joel Osment and interviews him for TV, because freelance journalists writing a community interest piece are always getting to broadcast stuff on national TV all the time. After the interview, Helen Hunt and Captain Burn Face of the SS. On Fire start making out against some lockers, you know, appropriate teacher-parent behavior at school, which is when Haley Joel Osment GETS STABBED by another 11-year-old with a PONYTAIL. Then everyone comes and gives him a candlelight vigil, which may or may not count towards the three favors they have to do to repay getting free cars and bikes all the time.

Woof.

The movie, of course, is based off the novel of the same name, by Catherine Ryan Hide, but it’s not even the first book of its kind, says Wikipedia:

It is also possible that the book was inspired by Lloyd C. Douglas’ popular depression era novel, Magnificent Obsession about a doctor who starts a secretive good deeds movement with the catchphrase, “I’ve already used it all up myself.”

Haha. It’s so weird that “I’ve already used it all up myself” hasn’t been a totally redhot catchphrase. I enjoy some of your cold milkshake.

Look, we all want to make the world a better place. Or at the very least, we all respect the desire to make the world a better place. And I am sure that this movie thought that’s what it was doing. Perhaps, Pay It Forward seems to suggest, you yourself will turn off your TV, and go out into the world with the idealistic idea “invented” by this fictional 11-year-old and start your own grass-roots-movement to get everyone their own free Jaguar. And it’s exactly this positive attitude and bedrock of good intentions that make the end result all the more heartbreaking, because instead of making the world a better place, this movie makes it a worse place. Because now this movie exists. And that is a shame.

Obviously, the film’s acting is mostly terrible. Kevin Spacey, Haley Joel Osment, and Jay Mohr have all appeared in the Hunt before, and for good reason. They are bad at their jobs. Helen Hunt is a perfectly decent actress if she’s playing a knowing middle-aged middle-class woman who doesn’t have time for your whining because she has so many problems of her own, but not so great as a 20-something lower-middle-class Las Vegas stripper who doesn’t have time for your vocabulary words because she has so many problems of her own. Not that it’s even her fault. Everyone on the film seems to have dropped the ball on the whole stripper thing, all the way down to the set designer.

Oh, you know me, just a regular ol’ 20-something Las Vegas stripper, cleaning out my refrigerator. Ho hum.

Better make sure to wipe under the case of Cliff Bars.

And the badness goes on from there:

“I have feelings and I would like to explain them to you like you’re stupid.”

In fact, with the exception of Haley Joel Osment, who does as good a job portraying an 11-year-old boy as any humanoid alien with anime eyes could, everyone is pretty terribly miscast. Have I mentioned that the black cloud nightmare abusive father is played by JON BON JOVI?

The only reveal more hilariously anti-climactic than that is when Kevin Spacey slowly unbuttons his shirt.

MAKE HIM FEEL GOOOOOOOD.

or:

HOW’D IT GET BURNED?! HOW’D IT GET BURNED HOW’D IT GET BURNED?!

And although I don’t think this is the Worst Movie of All Time, I do think this might be the Worst Scene of All Time:

Which brings us to the very real problem at the heart of Pay It Forward, which is pay what forward? Jay Mohr is given a Jaguar to replace his ruined car, which is not a real thing that would ever happen, ever, in a million years, with peace on Earth and cities made of candy, because COME ON. But that’s actually the most believable instance of someone doing a good deed. What is so charitable and magnanimous about screaming in a nurse’s face and FIRING A GUN IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM? Meanwhile, the reason the “gangbanger,” which I’m sure is how he’s listed in the credits, is paying it forward is because someone did him a huge favor. What was that favor? Helping him evade police after he robbed an electronics store. Perfect. Let’s all make the world such a great place with this beautiful idea, you guys.

I haven’t been so mad about a condescendingly illogical life lesson since Tuesdays with Morrie.

All of that being said, the fact of the matter is that I’ve already done all of you a favor by watching this, and all I want you to do in return is give three people Jaguars. Jaguar it forward, you guys.

Next week: Butterfly Effect. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (138)
  1. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  2. “I’ve seen a million faces, and I’ve rocked them all”

    Faces=Women
    Rocked=Beat the shit out of

  3. rosie  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +7

    i think jim henson handled the “pay it forward” concept a lot better (or i just love the fraggles and think they can do no wrong).
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3cW35VcLN4

  4. Michael  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +83

    I had to read this line 4 times:

    “Kevin Spacey, Haley Joel Osment, and Jay Mohr have all appeared in the Hunt before, and for good reason. ”

    Because when you are reviewing a film with Helen Hunt starring, your mind goes places. And those places weren’t pretty.

  5. STOP HAVING A LARGE VOCABULARY AT ME

    I can personally attest that people have said this (to me) (for being a condescending smartass)

  6. And I wonder if he paid it forward in the second clip by shooting someone on the next floor down who was suicidal?

  7. Can I just say I had to watch this movie in English class, and I was sitting in the back of the room far away from the TV. Throughout the whole movie I could never really see Kevin Spacy’s burns, so whenever the characters in the film were seen as shocked or taken aback from his face, I always just assumed they were shocked that they were in the awful presence of Kevin Spacey.

  8. ronifer  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 -14

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  9. Ofb  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +7

    sweet jesus christ this movie sucked. I remember my friend wanting to watch this really badly and him convincing me that we should rent it. I have never forgiven him for that betrayal of our friendship and I doubt I ever will.

    On a related note good call on the butterfly effect which probably is the worst movie ever made or at least tied with my vote: “What the bleep do we know?”. This pile of shit disguised as a movie is interviews with professionals in quantum physics rambling on about things only they care about mixed with scenes of a deaf woman traveling down the rabbit hole in search of who gives a shit.

  10. Krista  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 -2

    I’m sticking with Altered States (so ha!) but I’m also adding Swept Away. Swept Away is as trite as they come.

  11. Stella  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +7

    I liked the Bradbury Building better when it was in Blade Runner.

    And although I like the sentiment that this whole crapfest was trying to get across, in the long run, what does it tell us? That being a good person will get you stabbed by an insolent tween? Really makes me want to run out and be charitable.

  12. Dane  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +13

    Plus, All Sport AND Gatorade? No real 20 something Vegas stripper mixes sports drinks.

  13. srsly  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +7

    seriously, you are the supervisor today.

  14. Kemi  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 -1

    Don’t go dragging Tuesdays with Morrie into this, Gabe. That’s playing with fire. Heart-wrenching, life-changing fire.

  15. I was hoping you’d make a gif out of the scene where Helen Hunt slaps Haley Joel Osment and then has a panic drink from the bottle of HOT VODKA she keeps in her kitchen light.

    Maybe I should learn how to make gifs and pay that forward to videogum.

  16. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Trevor  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +4

      No. It doesn’t. It just means you can be jerked around. It’s OK, though. It means you’re human, but that doesn’t make the jerker “good.”

  17. Y’know, I’ve decided that Kevin Spacey doesn’t act well but he is very good at being in actor.

    I laughed my way through Pay it Forward on TNT at 2 in the morning a few years ago and when I went to school the next day a friend told me that she’d watched it too, which was a weird coincidence. We spent the rest of the day cracking jokes about the candle light vigil and Haley Joel Osment getting stabbed.

  18. I watched “The Butterfly Effect” with my sister and someone had told her to watch the theatrical version all the way through, and then the last five minutes of the “director’s cut” (or whatever) version afterward. So we did. The fetus of Ashton Kutcher aborting itself was the greatest thing that has ever been featured in a movie, ever. Also it was the only thing that made the movie worth watching, so, good choice for next week’s article.

    • I didn’t believe you that that was real, so I googled it.

      Holy shit. That is far and away the stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen, all on its own. Make it the end of a movie, and it is a whole other fathomless universe of terrible.

    • The first time I saw Butterfly Effect my brothers and I accidentally watched the directors cut thinking it was the normal version. We sat there for a few minutes wondering how every one didn’t kill themselves after watching it and then realized what we had done and watched the the theatrical ending. It’s still depressing for no reason.

  19. Sally Bowles  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +3

    This movie is just a nonsensical, embarrassing display of horrendous acting. Haley Joel Osment’s character is so profoundly precocious and unlikeable and disrespectful, I found myself a) smiling when Helen Hunt gave him a good whack across the head, and b) not exactly upset when he got stabbed and gave the worst-ever death scene.

    …having said that, I will reiterate: Life As A House and Stranger Than Fiction need to be reviewed, if New York Minute doesn’t fit into the criteria for WMOAT.

    • glass_family  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +4

      Oh god yes, “Life As a House.” It might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

      • Sally Bowles  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 0

        Isn’t it just the worst? As I mentioned elsewhere on this site, I made it to the (horrendous!!) end, but I had to glug a bottle of vodka to do so, and I was mostly peeking through my fingers by that point. Wretched, wretched, wretched.

    • You are confused. Stranger Than Fiction is eligible only in the hunt for the best movie of all time.

      • Zack  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +12

        Yeah, I dug Stranger Than Fiction. That’s cool if you didn’t like it, but any movie that actually makes Will Ferrell likeable is in no way hunt-worthy.

        • Sally Bowles  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -1

          I think Will Ferrell is totally likeable, but when I saw this awful showcase for whatever “serious” or “dramatic” talents he may have, I wanted to go for a non-stop run down my local pier. It was really a terrible script, concept, and all-around poor production. He might have dramatic chops, but this wasn’t the film to capitalize on them. Just my opinion. I love the guy; hated this film.

  20. “Butterfly Effect?!” NOOOOOO! Meaning YESSSSSS! I hate that movie so much. So so much. Has a more needlessly mean-spirited movie ever been made?

  21. Meanwhile, his mom (Helen Hunt) is a stripper

    I’m not sure I’ll ever dream again. Also, Little Nicky.

  22. we can has Vertical Limit? not only it’s god-fucking-awful, but i,for one, find the fake critic shenanigangs hi-llarious

  23. I’ll be honest. I haven’t seen the movie, and I just skimmed this review, but what I’m hearing is that Helen Hunt is a stripper with a burn victim fetish. So I’m going to go ahead and rent this movie.

    [3 hours later]

    You lied to me.

  24. When I was in Americorps my boss liked to make everybody watch this movie to inspire us to perform community service other than the community service we were already volunteering to do. I got out of it somehow, though, possibly citing the time I was on a plane where Pay It Forward was playing and in the three glances I spared at the screen surmised the entire plot of the movie.

  25. Sebastian Paper  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +7

    Is that shot of Spacey’s chest exactly like the shot of Mena Suvari’s chest at the end of American Beauty? Bad enough that they stole the soundtrack from that movie.

  26. That’s certainly the hardest I’ve ever laughed at someone shooting up a hospital.

  27. steve's beer quest  |   Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 +1

    Well you know what they say, the best place for clues is in the bathroom.

  28. Beloved Gabe. BELOVED.

    Anyways, a thing that bugged me about this movie is how no one is remotely likable. Not a single person. You’d think in a movie about kindness, this wouldn’t be an issue!

  29. nisf  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +6

    Within an hour after watching Pay It Forward, I got the worst nightmare migraine I’ve had in nearly 6 years, which involved flashing lights, dizziness, and vomiting.

    Coincidence? I think not.

  30. Decker  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +1

    Meh, that doesn’t sound so bad for a schlocky “feel-good” film. Plus, I have to give them points for “Sorry, I’m late for my mass wedding,” THAT is a zing, sir.

  31. The Lake House. It won’t let you down, Gabe.

  32. I don’t think you’re really looking for the worst movie until you’ve considered Halloween 3. Anyone who has seen it please back me up.

    • Sally Bowles  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +8

      I’ve seen H’Ween 3 many, many times, along with the first two H’Weens…in fact, I would venture to say that I am in the thousands by this point. While H’Ween 3 is not at all connected to the first two Michael Myers-based plots, I have to say…H’Ween 3 is creepy and odd and fucked-up in such a way that, were it to have been released on its own without the Hallowe’en 3 tag, it would stand up on its own as a legitimately scary film.

      Basically, change the name of the film and you’ve got yourself a really skin-crawling concept for a horror movie. At least in my opinion. Those masks? The TV jingle? The kid’s head getting gnawed by insects? The nail-chomping, ambiguous ending? It’s good! Ignore the horrendous motel sex scene and you’ve got yourself a pretty bad-ass flick. Give it another go. It’s actually weird, sinister, and frightening on its own terms.

      • Zack  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +3

        Sally Bowles, how you vex me… I don’t care for your anti-Stranger Than Fiction stance, but I totally appreciate your pro-Halloween III stance. I’m confused…

        • Sally Bowles  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

          I vex, bewitch, and befuddle…

          I will forever maintain that Stranger Than Fiction eats balls (and that’s just one gal’s opinion…I’m not making a sweeping declaration here), but I am pretty passionate about what Hallowe’en 3 has to offer in terms of fright. The first movie my parents ever rented for my 7-year-old self was “The Exorcist”, and from there on in, I have been a pretty scrutinous, half-arsed aficionado of horror flicks. Hallowe’en 3 is scary, plain and simple.

          And that’s just me. Let’s go for a drink and talk about movie geek stuff.

    • Zack  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

      I’ll back up nothing! Tom Atkins ‘stache beckons me to side with him. By the way, what was the evil plan in that flick again? The guy was going to kill all the children wearing masks for what reason? To steal their candy? Come to think of it, that movie was almost delightfully awful.

      • Halloween III is awesome! Its faults are forgivable; don’t even mention it in the Hunt or it may be swept up as an unintentional contender with so many Butterfly Effects and Family Stones. Also, don’t even try it with Vertical Limit; that movie falls through the same WTF crack as Dreamcatcher and makes for such a hilariously absurd good time that I can get behind it. Not so with TIMELINE, though. Seriously, “you better TIMELINE” is the polar opposite of “you better DRUMLINE.” Also, “Jaguar it forward, you guys” is an amazing phrase.

  33. YELLING AT NURSES. That is a good thing?

    Also, was Tuesdays With Morrie a movie? Please add that to the WMOA list, pleeease. Or that other HORRIBLE Mitch Albom abomination.

  34. I just discovered this amazing project and wish I found it sooner! As far as recommendations, please consider:

    Revolver (The Kaballah equivalent to Battlefield Earth. It was widely released in the UK but not so much in the US, so I’m not sure if that disqualifies it)
    Jersey Girl
    8 Mile
    Get Rich Or Die Trying
    Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (my personal worst movie of all time, but it’s really stretching the “B-List actor” rule),

    Open Water was the worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater, but unfortunately there are no name actors in it, so it can’t be recommended.

    • CBrookP  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

      Yes! I nominated Revolver a couple of weeks ago, not realizing it was the Kabbalah Battlefield Earth. I can’t believe anything could make Revolver a more self-important movie, but there you go! Also: Andre 3000, Big Pussy, and gay/pancake-makeup’d Ray Liotta, FTW!

  35. brody lazebra  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -1

    i think Scoop should be next.
    scarlett johansson and woody allen? woof.
    personally, i love the movie & found it really entertaining, but even i know it was terrible.
    plus, i know gabe will have a field day tearing this murder mystery/romantic comedy (everybody “wtf” with me, now.) to bits.

  36. sjackson  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +4

    please do ‘Deep Blue Sea’. It’s a classic.

    • ‘Deep Blue Sea’ is actually called ‘Big Wet Shark’ and that scene where Samuel L Jackson is talking about avalanches apropos of nothing at all and gets eaten is by far the biggest LOL fest you will ever have at a Worst Movie of All Time’s expense.

      Tuesday’s With Morrie. Pfffft. LOLZ!

  37. Brooke  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +7

    Please do The Other Boleyn Girl. It’s just a sad and sad movie.

  38. RunBMC  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +2

    This movie was pretty awful, but Gabe – you just didn’t seem to have as much fun with this one as most of the others. As a cure for what ails you, I will have to recommend TURBULENCE. I was only able to make it halfway through tonight’s showing on TBS, but some things to consider:
    A 747 flying from New York to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve with only 6 booked passengers.
    A 747 decorated for Christmas like a girls’ dormitory at Northwestern.
    A 747 with hardwood floors (a skateboard comes into play involving same floor).
    Add to these the horrible over-the-top serial killer played by Ray Liotta, the perky, jilted flight attendant played by the now obsolete Lauren Holly and the deep-fried (and neck-tattooed) Southern bank robber played by Brendan Gleeson – and you have e VERY strong candidate. Enjoy!

  39. Dan S  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +2

    I’ll say it again. THE FORGOTTEN!!!! Don’t forget THE FORGOTTEN!

  40. Pleas Gabe, i know Nicholas Cage is already hated for his films, but you have to review NEXT. That movie was so jaw-droppingly, screwed up…and that’s time I’ll never get back!!

  41. edc  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

    this movie was good. you guys suck.
    and you don’t deserve this awesome:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n9YslsI4CU

  42. I normally agree, but wrong. this movie isn’t even a contender for the worst movie ever, try out elephant that movie is so much further up it’s own ass.

  43. CBM  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -10

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  44. I would like to see WATERWORLD on here at some point. It’s my favorite worst movie of all freaking time. Dennis Hopper!

  45. Ashley  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +1

    Blindness. Blindness. Blindness. It is THE worst.

  46. dang  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +3

    If you already did this movie forgive me (though i don’t believe you have) but: GARBAGE PAIL KIDS —- Without a doubt the worst piece of crap ever put on film. It makes MAC AND ME seem like Casablanca.

  47. soitisgirl  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

    thank you! since the first time i saw this awful “film” i’ve been saying that it truly is the WORST movie of all time. Butterfly Effect is awful, as well. but it didn’t piss me off like Pay It Forward did.

  48. dbkdbkdbk  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -1

    Amen.

    And MUSIC AND LYRICS is one of the worst movies, ever.

  49. julie  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +1

    YEAH! You show that overworked and underpaid ER nurse who’s boss! FUCK hospital protocol, scare a bitch!

    I have to nominate…. FACTORY GIRL and second, third or fourth or whatever THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT.

  50. carlos Hernan   |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 -1

    that movie wasn’t that bad, i barely remember it but i remember it was fun to watch. the new star wars trilogy was far worse and more insulting to people’s intelligence!

  51. CHARLES  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 0

    You liked this movie a lot more than I did.

    How about Freddie Got Fingered.

  52. you need to do the movie wolf with jack nickolson

  53. himay  |   Posted on Apr 14th, 2009 +5

    Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist!

  54. the worst movie of all time is AT FIRST SIGHT w/ Val Kilmer. A movie about blindness that makes me wish I was blind so I couldn’t have seen it.

  55. Keviniskevin  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    Just saw The Spirit a few nights ago and I feel it is the worst film I’ve seen in recent memory. I’d like to see you have a crack at it, Gabe.

  56. This movie wasnt that bad. I disagree with this writer… Cliff Bars are essential for sustained stripping performance.

    2nd… Deep Blue Sea is bad. But worse is LL’s “Deepest, Bluest, My Hat is like a shark fin” rap takes the poopcake.

    FACTS:

    I saw this movie when I was around 14 years old. That was the first and only time.

  57. PJ Beardsley  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    Reign of Fire is one of the most ridiculous things ever. Matthew McConaughey’s baldness/mustace is soulcrushing

  58. PJ Beardsley  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +1

    reign of Fire: ridiculous
    constantine: appalling
    legend: way worse than zardoz
    swordfish: because it’s basiclly a vehicle for naked halle berry and terrible travolta
    BE COOL: one of the few movies i was physically unable to finish
    (you need as many bad travolta’s as you have bad robin williams)
    xXx OR A Man Apart: Vin Diesel = black hole
    Dr T and Woman: will make your balls ache if you watch it
    The Avengers: a straight joke
    The Postman: in the worst movie hall of fame
    STRIPTEASE: wow, can’t believe i dint say that one sooner
    3000 miles to graceland: just kill me now
    the man without a face: non-stop laugh riot
    and SHOWGIRLS, well, is actually THE worst ever. its a well known fact

  59. PJ Beardsley  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    ok YES i totally forgot about it but i just saw it on here from someone else. REVOLVER is god awful. it is so full of itself and wrapped up in the worst and most complexly idiotic metaphor i’ve ever seen in a movie. it will make you want to deep fry your head

  60. Daiv W  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -2

    Sheesh, you folks are a cynical lot. Yes, one must address the artistic worthiness of a film, but you have to give this movie some kudos for trying. At least it wasn’t another Hollywood flick filled with clichetic violence, disparaging depictions of blacks and women, and sleezy soundtrack action. Worest movie ever? How about the Pink Panther remake with Steve Martin? or Krull, from the Eighties?

    • But you don’t understand. If a movie has senseless violence or bad comedy in it, sure, you can judge it, but it’s the movies that attempt to *say* something (and generally fail because Hollywood can rarely do anything right) that really suck.

    • apock  |   Posted on May 13th, 2009 -1

      Right, because the scene with the man shooting his gun in the emergency waiting room is in no way a stereotypical, disparaging portrayal of African-Americans.

  61. Daiv W  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    Sheesh, you folks are a cynical lot. Yes, one must address the artistic worthiness of a film, but you have to give this movie some kudos for trying. At least it wasn’t another Hollywood flick filled with clichetic violence, disparaging depictions of blacks and women, and sleezy soundtrack action. Worest movie ever? How about the Pink Panther remake with Steve Martin? or Krull, from the Eighties?

  62. i agree, this film is terrible. other movies that HAVE TO make this list:

    ocean’s twelve
    a good year (truly awful russell crowe/ridley scott collaboration)
    mr and mrs smith

  63. ocean’s twelve

    a good year

    mr and mrs smith

    • courtney  |   Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 0

      How could you remind me of that horrid movie ‘A Good Year?’ I totally forgot about that awful movie I wasted money on renting. How the hell did this movie get greenlit? Yea I think that is the worst romantic comedy I have ever seen yea even worse than ‘Fools Gold’ and that’s hard to beat. Mr. and Mrs. Smith might be a contender but you hit the nail on the head.

  64. becca  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -1

    omg, PLEASE watch the happening. i cannot even DESCRIBE the horror. watch it and it’ll win this contest for sure.

    • “The Happening” is not only a bad movie, it has a terrible name. It’s like naming a movie: “The Happenstance”, “The Occurrence” or “Some Shit Went Down”. Shyamalan really dug deep on that one.

  65. Hipstore  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -2

    you should review Donnie Darko for the hunt
    That movie sucked

  66. becca  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    oh, and hard candy.

  67. I protest: Stranger than Fiction only eats one ball. It is overrated — I know two people who call it “great” — but they are wrong. They each must eat a ball. That makes for multiple balls in the end, but this is not the movie’s fault.

    As to those who call it “great,” ask yourselves this: Would you ever actually want to read the allegedly profound and literature-changing book authored by Emma Thompson in this movie? Or do the many voice-overed excerpts from it make you think “I would you sooner eat a ball”? One raw ball.

  68. Hillary  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -1

    I second the nom for The Happening. So many delicious nuggets of awfulness.

  69. Oh yeah and please watch Drop Dead Fred.

  70. Quirky  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +3

    Kevin Spacey’s a good actor.

  71. Liz  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 +1

    okay, I can’t believe that every other m. night shamalamadingdong movie has been nominated, EXCEPT for the village. seriously? an isolated, 19th century village has a ‘we don’t bother you, you don’t bother us deal’ with the mythical creatures in the woods that surround them. joaquin phoenix hasn’t drank enough of the village kool aid and wants to explore the woods, but he is discouraged by the village elders (who include sigourney weaver and william hurt). joaquin falls in love with a fellow villager, who happens to be a blind girl. blind girl has a mentally challenged friend (adrien brody) who gets jealous of joaquin’s relationship with blind girl, so he stabs joaquin. blind girl volunteers to go out through the woods to the next town to get supplies to save joaquin. I won’t spoil it, but…COME ON, how has no one else nominated this movie?

  72. mighty undies  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    I just remembered ‘Method’, with Elizabeth Hurley. You’re not even close to imagine….

    oh, and have I said ‘Cold Mountain’?

  73. Saad  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    You HAVE to do Wild Wild West with Will Smith. That and Lake Placid. I watched both of those movies on the same day in the theatre and combined they weren’t worth the price of the matinee admission I paid.

  74. Hey Carrie Ann  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    I would like to nominate the movie I’m Reed Fish for worst movie of all time… for serious.

  75. kij22  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 0

    We need Gabe to examine Sudden Death, with Jean-Claude Van Damme. That is the only movie where I have ever walked out of the theater. It is wretchedly terrible, even when compared to other JCVD movies. Nothing like a Luc Robitaille cameo…

  76. the problemwithcaring  |   Posted on Apr 16th, 2009 0

    Two Words: Practical Magic

  77. Sally  |   Posted on Apr 16th, 2009 -1

    Rachel Getting Married.

    I would have killed my little brother to escape that movie. Spoiler.

  78. galb  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2009 0

    Alex & Emma

  79. You really need to do Home Fries. My family still hasn’t forgiven my mother and I for choosing to see it on Thanksgiving.

  80. laura  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2009 0

    Worst movie of all time: August Rush.

  81. Vsusanmoon  |   Posted on Apr 18th, 2009 0

    OK, this movie isn’t THAT bad, Yes it is a sentimental piece of crap but i have seen much worse ex: I AM SAM. But if your not a cold hearted film buff or a WOMAN like me, you do get the tingly feeling inside about “paying it forward” to other people. Otherwise yes it does go over board with sentimentalness …..Kevin Spacey’s sexy time burn scene!!

  82. ingrid  |   Posted on Apr 19th, 2009 0

    Helen hunt was NOT a stripper… just because she lived in Vegas doesn’t mean that. She was a damn cocktail waitress.

  83. bummertime  |   Posted on Apr 19th, 2009 0

    juno, please

  84. KCon  |   Posted on Apr 19th, 2009 0

    Van Helsing. I found myself pondering the structural integrity of a stagecoach and the length of time it could be on fire and still support a werewolf. It’s almost beautifully bad.

  85. Amber  |   Posted on Apr 19th, 2009 0

    I support Blindness for the hunt!!!! It will when Gabe!!!

  86. Verily verily I say unto thee this movie is a pox on the very face of all creation-Now rub your prayer hankie and leave the Jag keys on the hook by the door.

    Oh, BTW, ‘An American Patriot’-go check TNT,I think ‘Roadhouse’ is on,Woo Hoo!!!

  87. J Gorder  |   Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 -2

    I have payed this movie forward to many people in my years. It has been used in the Human services program through the college I went to. Obviously someone does not understand concept of human compassion.

  88. You’re a fucking idiot. This is a great movie, Kevin Spacey is one of the greatest actors of our generation, and awkward scenes always spell terrible acting for you then you probably should either not review movies, or just stick to your Berenstein Bears VHS collection

  89. This movie sounds so bad I almost want to watch it to see if it could possibly be that bad. Thanks Gabe!

  90. Color of Night  |   Posted on Apr 25th, 2009 0

    Please consider Color of Night (1994)
    So bad that you successfully blocked it out.
    No Bruce Willis movie comes close, really

  91. i love sexi

  92. I had to watch this in middle school and even then I knew it was a piece of shit. Unbelievable. And I loved some pretty shitty things in middle school. I particularly hate that, “and I think my ex-wife is in a lesbian relationship just to piss me off!” bit. What is that? I hate that guy.

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