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The two of you met at a Hot Topic looking at a display of new Manic Panic colors and at first it was all very exciting. You would help him carefully bleach leopard spots into his head, and he would help you scarify his name into your forearm with a gum eraser. At a certain point, though, you noticed that your mutual disgust for your nowhere hometown was not as mutual as it had seemed at the beginning. Sure, you could spend an entire afternoon fantasizing about going to University, finding a good job, moving to Glasgow or, in your flightier fancies, the United States. It was normal to trade in heated dreams of road trips, studio apartments, and dinner parties. All of your friends did. There was a whole world out there, and one day you wouldn’t be stuck in your parents’ flat dreaming of escape. But he never really talks about University, or saving up money for a train ticket. He focuses all of his frustrations into dressing like the rocket to Gay Saturn might take off at any moment, and his desire to carve his own path in life is less about actually making it out of here than what will get him the most looks at a pub two towns away that has dancing on Fridays. You do have fun with each other, though. You’ll probably stay together until you turn 18 (you’ve always said you’re moving the day after your birthday). And maybe you will stay friends. See each other every Christmas, when you come back home for a visit, to the town you finally escaped, where he lives his entire life, just drinking and drinking and drinking. (Thanks for the tip, Chantal.)
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He reminds me a bit too much of the only gay in the village.
Aw, man. You got there first.
Dammit! That was the first thing that went through my head too.
I like that the TV version of “kill” in M/F/K is “avoid.”
Hello mr T!
My country is the worst.
Scotland is awesome. In America we have more of these kinds, and they’re worse.
And some of them are even famous.
That is one of the saddest human beings I have ever seen.
I have to agree with dude’s Dad. It’s just a bit too much. It needs to be less.
You can never have enough?
Um, yeah, you can.
Am I terribly out of the loop if I admit that I didn’t know that being a “male Barbie” was a thing? And that there is more than one?
I feel kinda bad for this guy. He is the only gay in the village, getting off on being “famous” for being known as “the blonde kid at the club” at whatever boring, nonexistant town he lives in. He even got BBC to visit him! Yet, when he eventually moves to London or New York or some other big city, he will realize how terribly out-of-date he is with his neon clothes and “gangster chains.” The outlandish gays in the big city will mock him and he will just be another boring person in their world.
He is right about one thing, you can never wear too much fake gold jewelery.
He needs to spend less time putting on makeup and more time doing some fucking sit-ups.
As long as he can get MARRIED. (Whoops! Wrong thread. Sorry.)
was this really subtly written in the style of one of those terrible spoken word-y belle & sebastian/looper songs? cuz it sounds like it! scottland!
You just think that because it’s Scottish. Not the same!
um,
seriously though… this guy is kind of cool.
he is tweaking every single person in the video/town, and got bbc coverage because of it. he’s got balls.
I think the reason people here hate him so much is oh maybe he remind them of themselves a bit too much?
for some reason i doubt most people here wear a pound of foundation, booty shorts and a blond mullet wig on a regular.
i love parents who aren’t necessarily mad at their children for being crazy people but just seem really tired whenever anyone asks them about it. That dad hasn’t slept in years. ahaha i love the black people foundation, he’s my fav.
Sorry I am Ross the boy in the video and I don’t get the description youv’e written about me. I don’t live in America, Iv’e never met Perez Hilton. He meant it as a joke to amuse his fans. This is a clip taken from a reality tv show im on in the uk. you people should spend your tim worrying abut the ecconomic downfall, povery where you live and the greenhouse effect, rather than spending all your time critacising someone who you think wears too much fake tan!!!!
Your website is my new home page. Hilarious.
And you should spend your tim
.Was his schlong hanging out at that “club?” Is that why there was a little purple animation thing over it? Fucking hot.
I guess it is his prerogative to look ridiculous if he wants, but… he looks ridiculously ridiculous.
Gabe’s just jealous because he doesn’t have the booty to pull off the hot pants, but my boyfriend totally does.
PROVE ME WRONG! (Preferably with Max Silvestri in a new Details video.)
“PROVE ME WRONG! (Preferably with Max Silvestri in a new Details video.)”
I totally second, third and forth this to infinite!! Gabe, you and Max need to erect your pillars of Man-style inside of this young Scot! Clearly though, he got your memo on makeup… “you can never wear enough makeup”…. but even though you can’t smell through youtube, we all know he was probably wearing jasmine cologne…. FAIL.
p.s. where has max been lately…. or is he too good for the videogum thread now, with all his fame from being famous? I’m just gonna say it: max silvestri hates videogum threads!
!
HA! “Golden Brown”. I see what you did there.
PS Did anybody else catch at the end that they had to censor the fact that HIS BALLS WOULDN’T STAY IN HIS SHORTS!?
Hehehe, at the top it says “That’s your boyfriend” well .. He was ACTUALLY my boyfriend two years ago! I still love this boy! haha
Ridiculous “sometimes”? No no.
I do not want to party with him.
I don’t think he is my boyfriend because I am female.
I would take offence at Aberdeen being called a “nowhere town”, but then I’m moving to Glasgow next year for university and a nice job. Wait…Gabe how did you know my life??
He looks like Paris Hilton and they are both famous for the wrong reasons.
“It can be a bit ridiculous, sometimes, I think.”
For a male barbie, he sure seems anatomically correct. :O
If you told me that 30 years from today, I’d be sitting next to my fireplace attempting to explain my Barbie doll son and his exclamation-censored penis to a television camera…
Well, I just don’t know.
This is shocking to people?
Have you never seen a drag queen or something?
WHAT THE HELL. Femskins, now this? What kinda agenda are you trying to push Gabe??
i find this young woman’s blatant display of black face deeply offensive.
i know this guy and he is actually awesome!! He makes me smile
+1
I love the tags. “Homosexuals, Leopards, Scotland” What a winning combination to make up your boyfriend.