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The more dug-up videos I see, the more convinced I become that the 1980s was the most barbaric, un-self-aware, child-abusy, selfish, downright mean decade in our country’s history. Of course, that can’t actually be true, duh, but even the ’70s had to be better. Further evidence: this how-to video for stage parents called “Getting Your Kids Into Commercials,” in which children are compared to polo ponies who are beaten with sticks, and a little four-year-old girl named “Katie” is held up as the ultimate example of a worthless child. Katie misses her mark and “doesn’t even seem like she wants to be there”. Katie isn’t a commercial natural, so Katie should just go ahead and kill herself:
Of course this kind of thing still goes on, but now we tape it for reality shows like Toddlers And Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect, so we can feel better about ourselves and how far we’ve come. (Via Everything Is Terrible.)
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Can’t Katie hear what they’re saying? That’s terrible!
Do they want to eat the babies? I think they want to eat the babies.
get out of my brain.
when they were like ‘we need babies. . .but we prefer to have twins, then we can use them longer’ i definitely thought some crafty cannibals had stumbled upon a genius plan.
EIT is the winner of the internet these days.
Why the fuck did she ring that bell?
I have NO idea. Fucked up. Do they do that when they call the parents that their kid landed a commercial?
Are babies at a commodity? SELL!
It’s all a guise, you see. Katie can hear the adults and IS responding to what they are saying. KATIE is like the best child actor.
i jus cliped my finger nales and dey look good!! i coud be a proffessonal.
Hahahahahaha
i bet that old man is probably trading those ‘kids putting on a play at home’ videos in a creepy chat room right now
“What about babies? Are they a commodity? “”WE ALWAYS NEED BABIES.”
omg what.
Twins are preferable. Triplets are UNNACCEPTABLE, HOWEVER.
How is it that the guys working with kids always look like the exact types you’d tell your kids to avoid when you see them skulking around the playgrounds in their Members Only jackets?
Good thing Katie learned how to act like a professional, otherwise I fear she probably would’ve been put to sleep.
apparently twins are considered currency in hollywood
does Katie have a fan page on facebook?
so, that guy towards the end basically recommended that parents beat their kids until they perform well in front of the camera . . . . ugh. run, katie!
so, that guy towards the end basically recommended that parents beat their kids until they perform well in front of the camera . . . . ugh. run, katie!
are people bartering kids like gold bouillon or some shit? or drying them upside and selling them as spiced meats?
wtf?
and that one guy’s a pedo.
hello there’s no way this isn’t a joke
What’s with the EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE thing at the end? Was that like a not-so-subliminal subliminal message?
This is absolutely fucking horrifying. No wonder kid stars are always fucked up when they grow up. This should be illegal. The most ironic part is that a child actor only looks natural when they ARE doing the things that are supposedly bad in this video. Otherwise they look like puppets.
I’m going to go on the record as saying I love Toddlers and Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect (and I even have a VHS copy of that Living Dolls documentary from several years ago). Some of those kids on there are brilliant, sassing and backtalking at an 8th grade level.