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The cast has been announced for the Farrelly Brothers’ completely unnecessary (but very timely?) Three Stooges movie, and it is ridiculous. From Variety:

Studio has set Sean Penn to play Larry, and negotiations are underway with Jim Carrey to play Curly, with the actor already making plans to gain 40 pounds to approximate the physical dimensions of Jerome “Curly” Howard.

The studio is zeroing in on Benicio Del Toro to play Moe.

Wait, whuuuuuuuuut? Hurry up, studio. Zero in! You don’t want the only person in the world who could play Moe to drop out of the project. Wait, what did I say? Not the only person, I meant the last person. Better. Why does this movie even exist? I know that Hollywood is out of ideas or whatever, but this doesn’t even seem like a rehashed idea. This seems like confusion over how ideas even work in the first place.

It’s basically impossible to come up with a weirder, less likely cast for this movie. But I have tried. After the jump, four slightly more improbable–but only slightly–casts for the Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie.

Larry: Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens
Moe: Elle Fanning
Curly: Freddie Prinze Jr.

Larry: Dane Cook
Moe: Paul Giamatti
Curly: A plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers

Larry: Dax Shepard
Moe: M’onique
Curly: The ghost of Susan Sontag

Larry: Peter Falk
Moe: A Tamagootchi keychain
Curly: Dr. Drew

Honestly, some of those still make more sense than the actual cast. Write it down, Hollywood. The Three Stooges 2: The Edge of Reason is going to be 2013′s Slumdog Milliona[gunshot].

Comments (29)
  1. where did dax shepard get that stomach? i’m a little less disappointed with kristen bell.

    except that i’m not.

  2. rane  |   Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 +29

    i don’t know. after seeing the last movie that plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers was in, i’m not sure it has the range.

  3. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  4. Then the’re going to make the remake of nosferatu with sean penn?

  5. I think the weirdest part is that Sean Penn and Benicio would consider taking these parts.

  6. Sean Penn? Benicio Del Toro? What the fuck?

  7. THIS IS INSANE.

  8. They should just pick three random low-ranking dudes from the Sopranos. Like… Vinnie from Doogie Howser, Bobby Bucco, and what’s his fuck.

  9. I already know this is annoying but *Tamagotchi.

    Well I wish the studios had called me first because my ideal cast would probably definitely be Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham, and Carlos Mencia. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING.

  10. i will go see this movie if the call it ‘two oscar winners and fat jim carey.’

  11. Hmmm… How about?

  12. zack  |   Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 +6

    To be fair, Sean Penn is a pretty accomplished character/comedic actor (see Spicoli). I’d like to see him do more comedy, actually. Jim Carrey still has potential, even if he picks shitty projects. Benicio Del Toro is just bizarre, though. The thing I really don’t get is how they’re going to update the humor. Straight slapstick is incredibly hard to do well and even harder to make fly with audiences these days. I’ll take the bet that that joke with the one guy swinging a board around on his shoulders appears in this movie within the first ten minutes.

  13. What this movie needs is a cameo by Sexman in the role of Shemp.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  14. i read that it would be johnny depp instead of benicio del toro.

  15. This movie will be either a total disaster or a total disaster.

  16. doobie  |   Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 +1

    OH YOUR GOD the 3rd group HAS GOT to be made into a movie. I would totally watch that, it’d just be too funny.

  17. seth  |   Posted on Mar 25th, 2009 +1

    i literally saw this two days ago on IMDB and it had johnny depp playing moe. weird.

  18. Might be worth it to see Jim Carrey slapped repeatedly….

    Nope, still sounds like a hot pile of shit.

  19. Is it too early to nominate this for The WMOAT?

  20. Liam  |   Posted on Mar 26th, 2009 +6

    just have all three of them played by Mark Gormley.

  21. Brian  |   Posted on Mar 26th, 2009 0

    I pick the last option. Dr. Drew, Falk, and Virtual Pets? Sure fire hit. best line up of the bunch, including that first one.. honestly, who would cast those three as the stooges. that is just a silly prediction…. wait….

  22. Brian  |   Posted on Mar 26th, 2009 0

    only if that picture of Penn, Carey and Del Toro was a bit more real. Penn would fire and go through all three of them, saving them from having to do this movie.

  23. grizzlyfish  |   Posted on Mar 26th, 2009 0

    The ghosts of the original Stooges are not happy, call studio execs “a bunch of knuckleheads”

    http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/7151/three-stooges-movie/

  24. moi  |   Posted on Mar 26th, 2009 +5

    John C. Reilly would make a good stooge.

    • That’s real talk, actually. How about John C. Reilly (Larry), Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Moe), and John Goodman (Curly)?

  25. I think the film is probably going to be about the lives of the Stooges off the screen – i.e. their private lives – hence, the casting.

  26. claw00  |   Posted on Apr 2nd, 2009 -1

    you’re lost on this post. this cast sounds perfect. this is why you write a blog and they make movies.

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