Let me be the first to say: APOLOGY ACCEPTED, Jackie Mason. Obviously, we were all really concerned that you hadn’t posted any vlogs in the past two weeks, but now it makes sense. The “phew” heard round the world.

I’m on the edge of my seat wondering what this “top secret project” could be. I have a couple of guesses:

• bib that looks like a gentleman’s necktie
• long-lasting butterscotch
• collapsible cane with a Torah inside
• some kind of pill box for all his pills because of how old he is

Jackie Mason is so old, he took his driver’s test on a dinosaur! Jackie Mason is so old, his family cherishes every moment they get to spend with him because they know there are only so many remaining!