This is from 2006, but it doesn’t seem to have gotten much play: an actual ad that ran on TV in defense of our “friend” Carbon Dioxide. It’s spit-take-inducingly funny, but I swear, I researched it, and it’s not by The Onion. It’s 100% real:
This is exactly like Brawndo from Idiocracy (“it has electrolytes!”). In fact, this commercial could easily be in Idiocracy — particularly with the scary Big Brother-esque “Carbon Dioxide freed us from backbreaking labor…” part. According to Wikipedia, the Competitive Enterprise Institute is a conservative organization funded by oil and drug companies, among others. Competitive Enterprise Institute, if you’re googling yourself and reading this, can you please do OxyContin next? My birthday is coming up. Thank you!