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A Chinese pornographer is planning on making the world’s first 3D erotic film. From the AP:
HONG KONG (AFP) – A Hong Kong filmmaker aims to lure audiences back to the cinema with what what he says is the world’s first 3D erotic movie, according to a newspaper report.
FAIR ENOUGH. But just make your porno, don’t play games. No motivation is so clear and so well understood as the motivation of a pornographer. “To lure audiences back to the cinema”? PLEASE, SIR, YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE. 2008 was a record year in box office revenues. You know what lures audiences back to the cinema, professor? Batman. Unless by audiences you just meant this guy. You are making a 3D porno to lure money into your bank account. The end.
Also, not to be a wet blanket, but 3D technology suuuuuuucks. So when he says things like this…
“Just imagine that you’ll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed.”
…he’s obviously never seen a 3D movie. If he had, he would have said “Just imagine that you’ll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed wearing polarized plastic glasses that dig into your scalp and render the image blurry and illegible most of the time unless it’s something boring and obvious like a finger pointing in your direction, or something other than a finger if you know what I mean. I mean a penis.” That’s what he would have said.
But can we go back to the “lur[ing] audiences back to the cinema” thing? Do you know what this 3D porno is going to be about?
The film is based loosely on the 17th century Chinese erotic classic “The Carnal Prayer Mat,” a tale about how overindulgence in pleasure can lead to tragedy.
Careful, you don’t want the movie to be TOO sexy! This sounds like the most disappointing movie since Captain EO.
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You don’t want to see MMA in 3D, live? Really?
I think there was 3-D porn stuff happening a couple of years ago. I took this picture of some dudes wearing porn goggles at the Adult Entertainment Expo when I was there in ’07:
THANK YOU for admitting that 3D technology sucks. My main complaints are that 1) the images are really blurry, and 2) the colors are a lot more muted than they would be without the glasses.
Why would I want to watch a Pixar movie, for example, all blurry and grey when the whole point of Pixar is to be colorful and crisp?
Anyways, thanks for ADMITTING that 3D in the movie theater sucks. And also, as someone who wears glasses, putting the 3D glasses over my glasses is a really horrible experience.
Any thoughts?
I don’t know about regular 3D movies but IMAX 3D is breathtaking… really! I’ve seen a handful of those movies (underwater, in the Sahara, the Grand Canyon) and I’ve literally gasped at how gorgeous and real it all seems.
I don’t know about regular 3D movies but IMAX 3D is breathtaking… really! I’ve seen a handful of those movies (underwater, in the Sahara, the Grand Canyon) and I’ve literally gasped at how gorgeous and real it all seems.
Captain EO is disappointing= A: FALSE!
Captain EO is an amazing film!
AMAZING!!!
How can you say that the little flying, butterfly-monkey thing that flew out and waved to you at the end, didn’t blow your 8 year old mind with it’s it’s 3D technology? Plus, the purple glasses used for Captain EO will never meet their match for style coolness.
Also, if the guy was for serious about wanting to lure audiences back to the cinema with porn, he would go balls out and make it 4D- with smells! Nothing says box office cash cow like the smell of lube, latex and a $40 bucket of popcorn
Captain EO is fantastic! Stay away!
3d still sucks? Aw, shit! And I was *soooooo* looking forward to Chuck in 3D! (I read the rules, but think this might warrant an exception: Can Captain EO be notinated for the worst film? It gave me a headache that lasted for most of the early 90s and had almost nothing to do with crappy 3D technology?)
I call BS. Emmanuelle in 3-D was the first erotic 3-D movie was it not? The Music Box Theater in Chicago got a new 3D projector in the late 80s and it was a regular midnight movie, along with Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein in 3D.
Porn in HD is what scares me.