I have never walked out of a movie.

This fact has as much to do with my selectivity in choosing what I’m willing to spend actual money on as it does my willingness to sit through bad movies, but it should be noted that my willingness to sit through bad movies can be described as VERY WILLING. But this week’s nominee, Across the Universe, represents a first in The Hunt. Unlike Kangaroo Jack, or Powder, or Battlefield Earth, bad as they were, had I seen this movie in the theater, I would not have seen this movie in the theater, if you know what I am saying. What I am saying is that I would have walked out of the theater. I just want to make sure there isn’t any confusion. INNUENDOS ARE HARD! (That’s what she said?)

Across the Universe is a musical set in the late 60s about a guy named Jude (UGH) who travels to the United States to find his father. There, he makes friends with a guy named Max and they move to New York where they rent rooms in an apartment from a woman named Sadie. Jude falls in love with Max’s sister LUCY (UGH). He has another roommate named Prudence (UGH). Then Max gets sent to Vietnam and Jude and Lucy break up because Lucy is spending too much time with the student radicals. Jude gets deported but then Jude comes back, because of how deported people are always allowed to just come back if they love someone so much, and he gets back together with Lucy by singing from a rooftop with the police’s permission. You know, because of The Beatles.

Perhaps the most glaring problem with this movie is that it’s supposed to be a celebration of and tribute to The Beatles, but has absolutely nothing to do with them. The plot is cobbled together by playing Mad Libs with the Wikipedia song list, and like Mad Libs is just as nonsensical.

Get it? FRIENDS? It only gets worse as the movie goes on, so that by the time they shoehorn in “Strawberry Fields Forever,” Jude is LITERALLY JUST PAINTING STRAWBERRIES, AS A PLOT POINT.

And all of the songs are sung by the actors, which is about as far from a celebration of someone’s music as you can get. Maybe I’m alone on this, but I’m of the opinion that you do not honor someone’s musical legacy by putting it in the hands (and mouth) of Evan Rachel Wood. John Lennon’s ashes are shifting in their urn.

To be fair, at a certain point you just accept the movie on its own terms and stop screaming at the screen. But then what are you left with? The thing about musicals is that they’re already threadbare in the logical narrative department even when they’re not cobbled together hackneyed jokes that some dude came up with over a dime bag of ragweed and a crate of records. It is absolutely impossible to be invested in or care about any of these characters because their interactions are all pun-based plays on song titles. At a certain point you just want them to “Love Love Me Do.” (Just kidding, you want them to “Drop Dead.”)

The whole thing reminds me of the Douglas Coupland book Girl in a Coma, in which he would begin sentences with shit like “Hand in glove, she steered the car through the snow.” Yikes. That’s pretty bad, but now imagine it at 24 yikes per second. With Evan Rachel Wood singing.

Because of this movie, and in an effort to preserve my optimistic nature (I see the Gigli as half-full. Huh?) I am creating a new rule: No More Musicals. And let’s just agree that this is the Worst Musical of All Time because of how it is.

Next week: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (163)
  1. Jamie  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +8

    I knew it. It is a terrible movie. Every pun is a groaner. And, still, people love it. That’s what upset me the most about it. That people think I’d like it because it had Beatles songs. As you said, it’s not even the Beatles. It’s Bono, Evan Rachel Wood, and Eddie Izzard doing karaoke. I don’t think anything can be as bad as this. I even got pleasure out of 23.

  2. Amazing, truly amazing.

  3. Eric  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  4. sol  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +20

    that’s it? is it just me, or this review is much shorter than the others?

    I can’t believe I saw that whole video: the song never seemed to end. And all I could think about was Max’s hair, how fake it looks.

  5. Violet  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +3

    Oh come on, it wasn’t THAT bad! Sure, it has a ridiculous plot and takes itself way too seriously, but I thought it was kind a fun! The part with Eddie Izzard made everything else better.

    • y  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +2

      Are you serious? That was awful. And the fact that I like Eddie Izzard just made it even more awkward.

  6. I tried watching the movie online. Tried. I made it to about…Lucy’s boyfriend’s get out of ‘nam free pass and then i said, ‘no.’
    I don’t know…I guess I’m not a fan of squeezing money out of people?s cold dead bodies.(I’m looking at you upcoming Cobain movie) There is a fine line between a tasteful tribute and…this (And I’m not even a Beatles fan!)

  7. Leonard  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 0

    I nominate Reign Over Me

  8. Bryan  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +9

    You forgot Sadie (UGH).

  9. The part where they were literally singing at Prudence to come out and play . . . UGH. I think she was pissed off in a closet or something, but I refuse to check because this movie sucked so bad.

    Also terrible? They send the brother to Vietnam, he has a weird Uncle Sam acid trip, carries the Statue of Liberty, he gets back injured and sings with some nurses and then spends the entire rest of the movie sulking in the background in a wheelchair ignored by all the other characters. It’s like the movie was like “Well it’s the sixties, we showed the horror of Vietnam war (with a giant statue of liberty!!! SYMBOLISM!) so we can put our disillusioned student soldier back in the toy box.” Boo.

    • Zach  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +5

      That was actually two of the parts I thought were great, both in use of the song and visually. Most of the gripes here, and from most people, consist of using Beatles’ songs too literally. The use of ‘I Want You (She’s So Heavy)’ and ‘Happiness is A Warm Gun’ were inspired choices, and they oddly fit into the whole Vietnam setting.

      • Eh, I disagree that the “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” use was inspired. As soon as the song started up, I knew they’d end up carrying the Statue of Liberty.

        The whole movie was so obvious, it was painful. Sadly, all of my friends say that these versions of the songs are so. much. better. than when the Beatles did them, which make me so, so sad. I don’t even like the Beatles that much anymore, but that statement is probably a 500 on a scale of 10 in terms of ridiculousness. I’m getting new friends.

  10. I would like to point out that two of the movies that have made the list prominently feature the Beatles…

  11. I saw this movie for reasons I won’t go into, IN THE THEATER, and the shit was mad corny yo! Then I talked to this cinematographer dude who’s a Baby Boomer, and dude loved it! He has decent taste otherwise. Then my mom said her friends all loved it! (They probably do not have decent taste.) This led me to believe that some Baby Boomers just have no gag reflex when it comes to anything related to their halcyon days (halcyon meaning the time when the kingfisher gets laid, look it up). SO WEIRD.

  12. Fuck, I’ve had so many arguments with people who believe this is actually good. It made my day to see that I’m not taking crazy pills.

  13. “Where’s that accent from?”

    “Same place as me.”

    STAB STAB STAB.

  14. I knew people who liked this movie. Oddly, none of them are over 17 years old, and none of them have listened to music that 1. their parents don’t listen to or 2. isn’t on the radio.

    Just sayin’

  15. Kelsey  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +4

    people think that if you’re a beatles fan you will automatically love this movie, not true!!! I LOVE the Beatles and I hated every minute of this moive. I don’t understand the peple that think it is “life changing” or absolutely amazing. What is wrong with those people?

  16. I remember this looking good in the previews, though I didn’t know it was a musical.

  17. Speaking of walking out… The only movie I walked out on was Dracula: Dead and Loving It. I would suggest that, but it breaks rule #1 – intentionally horrible.

  18. Joker'sLady  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +5

    I agree. I am a hardcore beatles fan but this movie, I just didn’t like it. I saw it in the theatre (my former friend dragged me to it), and when one of many psychedelic sequences would come on, I was like, what the hell am I doing in this theatre?

    That friend is now my ex- friend. “27 dresses” was the last straw.
    hey, why not “27 dresses”? that was the worst movie I have ever seen, I’m still grumbling about it til this day and want my $10 back!

  19. That was a really short review. You didn’t even get to the worst parts (all of the psychedelic sequences).

    But, I actually didn’t think this movie was the worst. Just far, far, FAR too long.

  20. y  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +7

    I know someone who saw this movie about 7 times in theaters.

    And Gabe, why is this so short? You barely got into specific awfulness. Don’t get lazy with the Hunt!

  21. I was forced to watch this on a plane (I couldn’t go to sleep and the monitor was right above me). Thank god I didn’t use headphones.

  22. Anton Chekov  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 0

    BALLISTIC: ECKS VS SEVER!

  23. Janet  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +3

    You forgot to UGH max. Abbey Road FTW

  24. I have never NOT finished a movie.
    To bear getting through this whole mess I had to watch it over the course of 3 days.
    3 miserable, agonizing days.

  25. hilary tong  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +1

    this movie is a piece of shit. Douglas Coupland’s “Girlfriend in a Coma” wasnt. well, the end of it is debatable, but anyways, those two do NOT equate.

    • agreed! girlfriend in a coma was lovely – I remember carrying the book everywhere I went and hoping I’d get breaks so I could keep reading – whereas while watching across the universe and waiting for it to end, I died multiple times.

  26. The no musical rule sucks because MAMA MIA MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

    • MAMMA MIA WAS SO BAD. The stage version was okay, but OHMYGOD I wanted to shoot myself and everyone watching it when I was forced to sit through that awful thing. Also, the film Hairspray was rather terrible (stage version = better), but Mamma Mia wins by far in the SUCK category.

  27. Ally  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +17

    Either you dis a movie right and in depth, or don’t dis it at all, Gabe.

  28. subtle  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +17

    My wife and I watched this. I was gagging, she loved every second. After it’s over, she asked “what did you think?” Massive fight ensues. I don’t get lucky despite it being date night. Strike three, crappy movie. Strike three…

  29. Confession: This movie is ridiculous and stupid and awful and is an insult to the Beatles’ legacy (and I’m a huge Beatles fan) but I did kind of like it. I found it entertaining in some weird way, like an adorably ugly and retarded dog.

    Like everyone else is pointing out, this was way too short. You didn’t even talk about the part where Bono shows up and the plot literally disappears for a half an hour and is replaced by a series of bizarre and totally without-context musical numbers.

  30. Someone hasn’t seen Repo, the Genetic Opera.

    • Did Repo: Genetic Opera ever even come out? I thought that got lost in a can, at the bottom of an oil drum filled with cement at the bottom of one of those canals in Venice Beach, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

      And I’d never make this joke, except in a “Worst Movie” comment, but no one else has, so I’ll take the “way-too-obvious 9th grade joke” for no points:

      “I can only think of one thing I want in hands (or mouth)…” Nope, nevermind, can’t do it. Apparently I insist on holding onto what little dignity I have left after the last divorce.

    • Erin  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 +1

      Hopefully no one ever will because I put that movie in jail so everyone would shut up about it. YOU CAN’T HURT ANYONE ANYMORE REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA.

  31. Andy  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +1

    No UGH! for Sadie?

    • She was seriously the worst of them all. Especially the sequence with the slow-motion head banging. I half-expected snakes to start slithering around her head!

  32. Faith  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 +4

    THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
    I fucking HATE this movie so much. And everyone who lives in my dorm just LOVES it, they have to watch it 24908203 times every weekend and it drives me up a wall.

  33. I just about barfed when this movie came out, and I didn’t even bother seeing it in theaters, didn’t even bother watching it on DVD or anything. Sadly my former roommate loved it and the soundtrack so I was submitted to its horrors almost daily. Thank god I have the Beatles catalogue on my computer. What makes this movie even more horrible is that everyone and their god-damn mother loved it; so you look like some elitist for not liking it.

  34. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

  35. rowantha  |   Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 0

    please, please, please add the holiday to the list. i could not get through even 15 minutes of the movie. just terrible. and with jude law and kate winslet in it, – just one big ugh.

  36. Robert  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    The Last Kiss is exponentially worse than this movie, which I did detest, by the way. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the Robin Williams gag-inducing cameo. Bad movie, but Last Kiss is. . .honestly, I really don’t know where to start.

  37. Evelyn  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -7

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • The Yellow Submarine is amazing! I’ve watched it multiple times. I couldn’t even finish Across the Universe. I didn’t even make it past the singing lesbian cheerleader scene.

    • At least Yellow Submarine lets you know its an acid-trip right off the bat. Not to mention that it has actual Beatles songs; good ones at that.

  38. Sadie is a proxy for Janis Joplin, but is pretty and thin. Huh?
    You also forgot Bono (Ugh).
    Sure his name isn’t a pun for a Beatles song, but he deserves it!

  39. easilydissolvedinwater  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    I know someone who swears that this is a brilliant movie. He is a very strange individual. I also know people who swear by Boondock Saints. I plan on crushing their souls. Thank you.

    I have on that is truly awful. The Uwe Boll directed Alone in the Dark, starring Christian Slater and Tara Reid. You will laugh, you will cry, you will hate me for recommending that piece of crap.

  40. The only worthwhile thing in this nut-stomper of a flick was Salma Hayek playing multiple nurses in that awful “back from ‘Nam” number. Fantasizing about an army of Salma Hayeks roaming around was the only way to endure the remaining 4 hours of this cinematic equivalent to waterboarding.

  41. easilydissolvedinwater  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    I know someone who swears that this is a brilliant movie. He is a very strange individual. I also know people who swear by Boondock Saints. I plan on crushing their souls. Thank you.

    I have on that is truly awful. The Uwe Boll directed Alone in the Dark, starring Christian Slater and Tara Reid. You will laugh, you will cry, you will hate me for recommending that piece of crap.

  42. Carrie  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +2

    I second the motion to do Last Kiss…I’ve seen both the gaggy Italian version and the even gaggier Zach Braff one, and I don’t think I have ever felt visceral contempt for literally EVERY character in a movie before then. Not to mention the gagtastic Coldplay music video towards the end which, like many songs in Across the Universe, is applied a bit too literally to the situation (“And the truth is…that I miss you”). Gag!

    Basically, can you please do Last Kiss. I missing this one little piece of vindication in my life.

  43. Larry Bird  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    Femme Fatale with Banderas and the then Romjin-Stamos is a grand old piece of crap in the classical tradition. Best worst sex scene ever. Worst best plot ever.

  44. Another vote for The Last Kiss, a movie which I OWN. Someone here once said that The Last Kiss wasn’t godawful, and someone else said “You think that because of the way you liked Garden State, which is also bad but exponentially better than The Last Kiss, so go re-watch Garden State and then watch The Last Kiss again, and you will see how much of a terrible abomination it is.” And that person was all kinds of CORRECT.

    I need it to be realized once and for all that Zach Braff makes bad movies where he screws women who are three leagues up, like Amidala and Summer and that chick from Real World Boring Londontown.

  45. You HAVE TO include The Cat in the Hat in this running, the 2007 live-action bad acid trip musical featuring Mike Meyers, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston, and Dakota Fanning. Meyers’s unspeakably odd rendition of the titular character will have you wishing to God that it was Robin Williams instead. Inappropriate for children and adults alike, watching this is akin to having a waking nightmare.

  46. I nominate Paycheck. It has Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman and the guy that nobody cares about from The Dark Knight, It has memory wipes and bullshit science. All with a horrible plot.

  47. I had forgotten about this until now. Also the thing with the circus and the bi girl who falls in love with the Janis Joplin lady?

  48. Great. Now I must see this out of morbid curiosity. THANKS GABE.

  49. Also, LAWNMOWER MAN!!

  50. Kathy  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    I am adding my vote for The Last Kiss and also for 27 Dresses.
    Have you done Crash? (The Oscar winner, not the one with James Spader.) It was God-awful.
    All these movies I watched on an airplane. It’s only on airplanes that movies make me want to gouge my eyes out… I guess it’s because I can’t escape and I don’t have anything better to do.

  51. The worst part of this movie is that everyone who LOVES it thinks they are being sooo deep because it involves Beatles music. These are the same people who think Dear Prudence was a song about a sad high school cheerleader.

    When I saw this in the theatre, besides having to accept this for what it was, I just kept thinking about how it won’t be long until the Max character plays Kurt Cobain in a film. The dude looks so much like Kurt.

  52. Kathy  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +8

    Oh, I forgot to include my vote for The Holiday.
    Nobody deserves to end up with Jack Black.

    • the holiday is so bad! it’s every bad romantic comedy ever mushed together in a big bowl of snow, england, jude law, and cameron diaz being a horrible person.

  53. Julia  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -1

    Good Lord, I hated this movie. I had really low expectations and was pretty stoned when I started it, so I figured I would at least not hate it. Wrong. I turned it off after 45 minutes.

    I fourth a vote for The Last Kiss.

  54. hayden  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -12

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  55. Kathy  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    For your consideration: “Something’s Gotta Give” with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton.

    Also, “Because I Said So”.

  56. Samantha  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    Across the Universe really is not qualified for the search. It’s not actually a movie, but a really ridiculously long music video.

  57. Rooficus  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    ABOUT FUCKING TIME SOMEONE CALLED THIS BULLSHIT MOVIE OUT.
    THANK YOU.

  58. I never walked out on movies either. Once I start something, I have to finish it. No matter how painful it is. That was my reasoning for sitting though seasons of The OC. The only comfort I had is that it would end and I’d see it through. It was always like that…however, there’s a first for everything.

    War Inc. was that first. I had to walk out, and I’m angry at everyone in the film, my (now ex) friend who said we should check it out but mostly myself. Because I didn’t have the power to say NO.

    War Inc. John Cusack, Joan Cusack…and Hilary Duff stuffing a scorpion down her pants.

  59. umm… I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure that the Beatles would be honored to see their songs sung by spoiled frat boys

  60. Jooooooooe  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +1

    “Notorious”.
    It may be too recent, but rest assured it’s a relentless piece of shit.

  61. bree  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -2

    swept away! i was reminded of this horrible movie due to the profile in the nytimes of the new sherlock holmes film. it was mentioned in parentheses, as in (don’t ask guy ritchie about that horrible fucking mess of a movie that starred madonna, because it’s that ungodly bad). which it was.

  62. You forgot that the Hendrix caricature was named Jo-Jo (UGH). You really needed to be more thorough on this one, Gabe. You have to relive it to make the flashbacks go away, just like ‘Nam (or more accurately, what Across the Universe would have me believe about ‘Nam). I love how everyone in this movie is so consciously aware of how they’re in the 60′s. I’m pretty sure that this movie was just an extended version of the Beatles scene in Walk Hard (“The Sixties are a new and exciting time! / There’s no limit to what we can… IMAGINE). This has to win. No movie has pissed me off as much as AtU.

  63. chase  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +4

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned about the Dear Prudence sequence that she’s obviously in love with a woman and needs to come out of the CLOSET into which she has locked herself! and this shit totally sent me over the edge with regard to bono.

    and the outro to hey jude when max (ugh!) sees jude (ugh!) and shouts “jude, jude, jude-y, jude-y, jude-y” and almost ruins the best outro ever – who doesn’t love that part in the actual song? but, of course, this movie nearly fucked up my love for the beatles. and the only cure was really an intensive, weeklong immersion in everything they produced – just to be reassured it was still good.

    and i also say the last kiss. and the curious case of benjamin button. complete drivel.

  64. Kathleen  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +1

    I have to add support for The Last Kiss, which I saw on a whim (worst whim ever) and for some reason didn’t walk out on, though it was almost my first. It will ruin any memories of Summer from The O.C., regardless of upside-down Spiderman kisses and Captain Oats, and just reconfirm everything you suspected about Zach Braff’s barely concealed awfulness.
    Also, I have to re-suggest The Astronaut’s Wife, mainly because I own it. But The Last Kiss is worse.

  65. ARock  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 0

    I love the Beatles but hated this film. I do not like ABBA but thought that Mamma Mia was better than this, to relate two twisted multimedia monstrosities.

  66. Gabe, real talk: watch Solaris. Nothing you have experienced can prepare you for the plotless, inane, god-awful boring pile that forms this movie. You cannot understand…

  67. Pogslammer  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +6

    What about on the deleted scenes on the DVD where Max kills Sadie with his Silver hammer, and then when he goes to jail, a guard asks him his prisoner number and then he says “you know my name, look up the number” and then the guard looks it up and says to the other guard “number 9, number 9…” and then I killed myself. This movie is the worst.

  68. The Worst  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 +2

    The
    Butterfly
    Effect.
    That is the only movie that I never finished. After a baby got exploded by a mailbox bomb, my friends and I looked at each other at the exact same time, with the exact same look of disgust on our faces, and just nodded gravely as one of us got up and smashed the tv in.

  69. Brian  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -3

    nominations: the mist. if that doesnt end the hunt then nothing can

  70. I’m throwing Closer in for your consideration. Chock full of A-list actors, it’s a movie that ejaculates on itself every time someone says something shocking. (“Are you shocked yet? It’s shocking, isn’t it? What a deep movie this is! Isn’t this such a brave choice for us as actors?”)

  71. Your list rocks so far!! “The Fury”, 1978 film starring Kirk Douglas, Amy Irving, and Andrew Stevens. Telekinisis powers. Glowing blue eyes. Can it get any worse than that?

  72. leo Gonzales  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2009 -9

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  73. ali  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 0

    p.s. I love you. I too have never walked out on a movie but that was the closest I ever came.

  74. I’ll just come out and say that I LOVE musicals. I’m all for the corniness and singing to happily ever after and whatever bullshit. But this musical totally sucks. I tried – YES, TRIED – to watch it twice because I was certain I must have been too distracted the first time around to really give it a go. But no, it really does suck. The 2nd time around, I sat, with no distractions, and made it to maybe 45 minutes, realised it had another 3 million hours to go, and gave up.

  75. Frogger  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 -4

    Who the fuck doesn’t like Powder? What’s the matter with you?

    P.S. Anyone who went willingly to see Battlefield Earth and Lost in Space is a fucktard, anyway.

  76. scott b.  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 +6

    When, In the movie, what’s her face comes in through the bathroom window, and they actually say, “she came in through the bathroom window,” because we didn’t get it, I evacuated my bowels in protest.

  77. I knew this movie was going to be crap because it took two years to film and edit. Two years! What the hell do you do with all that time? But even until it was released I was holding on to some hope that it could be good. The director of Titus, the writers of The Commitments, and a cast that included both Eddie Izzard and Joe Cocker? C’mon, that had to be good!

    But yeah, I think the hunt should end here. No matter what you think of “Crystal Skull,” and put me in the apparent minority who had fun with it, no film gets worse than this. Movie search over.

  78. bentrb4  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 -1

    I don’t think any movie can even compete with the Geena Davis classic “Cutthroat Island”. That movie makes all the others mentioned on here look like Best Picture nominees. Seriously.

  79. evan rachel wood  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 -2

    holy man starring eddie murphy. you WILL walk out on that piece of shit.

  80. evan rachel wood  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 -2

    holy man starring eddie murphy. you WILL walk out on that piece of shit.

  81. You are absolutely right. “Across the Universe” is so much worse than other musicals, like, i don’t know, “Mama Mia.”

  82. john hinckley  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 0

    Yes, this was a bad movie, but nowhere near as excruciating as MAMA MIA. I agree with whoever said it above – delay the moratorium on musicals long enough to review that steaming pile of talent.
    Oh, and THE PINK PANTHER 2, once you too have seen it, will probably top the list. Yikes.

  83. courtney  |   Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 0

    John you probably have a point with Pink Panther 2 but would be better off suggesting the first one since that was pretty painful to watch. How many running gags could you squeeze into one movie? It was so sad. Also another movie I couldn’t sit through was ‘White Chicks’. Totatlly awful. And I think someone else mentioned ‘Miami Vice’ why haven’t you done that one yet Gabe? It’s awful as hell.

  84. CC  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 -1

    I liked The Last Kiss, so please ignore everyone saying that it deserves to be on this list. They just hate Zach Braff. There are far worse movies out there. I would go with THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT. Please. Thanks.

  85. elle  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 -2

    american beauty. I hate that movie.

  86. Tsuk13  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 -9

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  87. rrpf  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 +1

    @Tsuk13: it’s ok. Roger Ebert was wrong on this one too. He gave this “film” 4 stars.

    This review was spot on. I mean my greatest fear after watching this DVD was that it would be someone’s first introduction to those songs. Some kid is going to grow up and think that these songs are from a horrible movie instead of from a pretty decent band.

    Name a movie this was more entertaining than. I dare you. A major release. No straight to DVD crap. I’d rather watch a Lohanathon or Crossroads or honestly, just an ass on the screen, farting repeatedly. All have more to offer.

  88. GARDEN STATE
    honestly I cannot imagine a worse movie.
    it is the epitome of white people pretending their life is hard, only its actually worse and way more pretentious than smart people.
    zach braff’s pretentions paired with natalie portman “acting” “quirky” combined with family drama, seizures and “deep” questions about life all add up to an offensively bad worst-movie-in-the-world.

  89. star  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 +1

    You poor poor man…. I couldn’t even get through the first clip. I love love how there’s a pregnant pause before he says his name like it’s soooo meaningful and ‘whoa’. Whow would say their name like that?! Argh. And the SONG. ARGH.

  90. me  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 -1

    I’m so looking forward to your evaluation of IJ: Crystal Skulls. That movie was so BAD.

  91. geoffrey Abrams  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -10

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  92. geoffrey Abrams  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  93. disgruntled hipster no. 416  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 0

    Dead-on review of a horrendous piece of cinema.

    My candidate for an upcoming Worst Movie:

    “Good Burger”. That’s right. “Good Burger”, starring Kel Mitchell and Kenan Thompson.

  94. Andrew  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -3

    While you overblow movies terribleness especially based on reviews. Like people that try and say slumdog was bad, it is a toss out, was that perfect no, but it was good, so shut up. Across the Universe is INDEED the end all to this list. I liked a lot of the movies on this list (spanglish) and the bros love boondock (note the community reviews not critics). Across offended me, with trying to pass terrible self-masterbatory crap of the 70′s, aka the worst generation of time. Terrible on every front.

  95. Don’t review musicals. Hipsters hate musicals, too easy.

  96. Meredith  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 +1

    The worst part of that clip was how they acted while smoking weed. The movie is all “hey we know about marijauna! this is totally how the sixties were!” but their faces are all “I have never smoked or seen anyone smoke in my life.”

  97. Twix  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  98. Twix  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  99. i  |   Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 -2

    the holiday is so bad! it’s every bad romantic comedy ever mushed together in a big bowl of snow, england, jude law, and cameron diaz being a horrible person.

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