Trying to wrap your mind around this found, professionally-produced video of a very opinionated prissy woman sharing her unasked-for opinions about phone manners is impossible, so I’m just going to assume she used a time machine to travel to the future, learned about vlogs, and went back and made her own. This is a drop-everything-and-watch -this-hilarious-video situation:

I laughed so hard the entire time. Is it just me, or did you keep expecting her to say something like “People who call a wrong number more than a few times per year should be rounded up and shot.”? (Via everythingisterrible‘s YouTube channel.)

Comments (23)
  1. did you SEE that call display machine?
    that would fit in nicely on the dashboard of the DeLorean

  2. Gibran  |   Posted on Jan 21st, 2009 +8

    “Some folks with answering machines are bothered by hang-ups, I think that’s their hang-up.”

    People in crazy videos about phone etiquette shouldn’t throw stones.

    • Seriously! It’s ridiculously arbitrary that wrong numbers get her panties in a twist and yet she’s super cool about answering machine hang-ups. I fucking hate answering machine hang-ups.

  3. This woman and the girl from the Jello ad were made for each other, and by made for each other, I mean be the worst to each other and commit double sepuku.

  4. As this was before the interwebs I must know where this woman thought the video could be distributed.

    Did she imagine it would be one of those educational videos they showed in school? Did she think that Satan would somehow see it and he would show it on a continuous loop in hell?

  5. The British Accent. YES.

    You see, she’s ready for work because she’s wearing her work scarf. Thanks, HELLoise.

  6. bml  |   Posted on Jan 21st, 2009 +3

    this sounds like andy rooney. it really does.

  7. all I can say is that I love her and want more of her.

  8. Mark Gormley needs to get this lady to loosen up, take her for a ride on his Little Wings

  9. Andy Rooney astrally projected himself into this woman.

  10. i bet she and Andy Rooney could never be in the same room together – because they’re powered by a shared sentient being. while this was being recorded, rooney was strung up, dangling lifelessly in a recharging plant…

    which would explain why we haven’t seen this woman since.

  11. Maureen is a psychological and emotional dead-ringer for ME.

  12. strangely_brown  |   Posted on Jan 21st, 2009 +1

    I’m not really sure what she’s so riled up about.- I’m guessing she doesn’t get a hell of a lot of calls.

  13. Does she have more etiquette videos? I’d love to see her tackle instant messaging or dinner parties.

  14. I love how she totally snubs her friend who is about to commit suicide. what?

    • What was that section even supposed to demonstrate? Was that one of those ‘This can be avoided’ things, or a ‘this is how to get rid of people you don’t care about’ things?

  15. How is dialing a wrong number anything like going to the wrong fucking house? I hope Amy was later murdered by her friend Maureen with the terrible life.

    • Not only that, but would anyone really be that bothered by someone accidentally ringing their doorbell when they’re looking for the person next door? It’s not like it would be that big of a deal.

  16. I also love her extensive use of the phrase ‘I think’. It’s like reading a grade schooler’s poorly written persuasive essay.

  17. Likes: harlequin pendants, PB&Js, drab colors, answering machines, smugness.

    Dislikes: poor phone etiquette, Maureen.

  18. lost tim and eric episode? naw. no one spewed anything.

  19. I can’t wait for the next installment, perhaps her spin on booty calls?

  20. star  |   Posted on Jan 23rd, 2009 0

    People who dial a wrong more than once a year should DIE *woman shoot lasers from her eyes*

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