S. Epatha Merkerson, Law And Order actress and delightful late night talk show interview subject, is the new spokesperson for Uniball pens, apparently, and this commercial premiered aired last night during the Golden Globes (in NYC, at least.) It’s surreal and frightening, but in a way that’s hard to put a finger on:

Is it the Wall Street setting, with its conjuring of both 9/11 and the current financial crisis? Or is it S. Epatha’s shaky voice and alarming tone? The fact that she seems either very cold, or very angry? I’m off to buy some Uniball pens, but not because I want to. Because I’m scared of S. Epatha Merkerson. (Update: just found another version, and it’s just as scary, but mentions “These uncertain times.” Terror sells pens, apparently.)

Comments (12)
  1. Was Lance Armstrong not available? Just asking.

  2. not to be an s epatha nut, but this has been running for a while against l & o (original and otherwise) episodes. i’m impressed that a pen company found a SECURITY angle for their products. s epatha: “we’re all going to die. please buy this pen.” better ads than the old dudes from the show have made. [that is very weird sentence structure. -ed.]

  3. The security angle is definitely the right angle to play up if you’re looking to hook the 65+ crowd. If my Memaw gets this as an email forward then checks it on “Snoops.com” (as she says it) then she’d buy it.

  4. This has actually been running during football games for a few weeks. That might have something to do with a perceived elderly viewing audience as mentioned above by iamsorry. I actually already BOUGHT a Uniball pen because it said on the box that it couldn’t be smudged out and changed on checks… I only have about 20 dollars to my name anyway, and the pen actually cost like 2, so maybe I overthought my security needs…

  5. somuchbailefunk  |   Posted on Jan 12th, 2009 +1

    My favorite part of this is…”it doesnt come off, EVER.” When you write with a uniball it will be FOR LIFE

  6. andrew  |   Posted on Jan 12th, 2009 +3

    she’ll always be Reba the Mail Lady from (Pee-Wee’s Playhouse) to me! Today’s secret word is Uniball! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

  7. Mary Mouse  |   Posted on Jan 13th, 2009 0

    Was that her signing her actual name in the ad? Avoiding Identity Theft 101 – Don’t have film demonstrating how to forge your signature aired on TV.

  8. She also does a scary cold medicine ad for people with high blood pressure (like her!)- if you have high blood pressure you could die if you just take any old cold medicine apparently. I think she’s cornered the market on fear-based advertising.

    • Ah, Coricidin HBP, the cold medicine with a heart. I think she’s a bit more endearing in those commercials (seen during The View, et al) and not as fear-mongering like in this Uni-Ball one.

      I remember reading that the guy who was based on the movie Catch Me If You Can had endorsed and was spokesman for the Uni-Ball 702 pen (kinduva office supply geek here)

  9. What the spam? What is this, youtube? Congrats, Gabe and Lindsay, you guys have made it big time! Next this site will be nothing but GG recaps and ads for BBW Christian Singles.

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