Holiday movies should, as a rule, be excluded from consideration. They’re like kids movies, or Wayans Brothers movies. No matter how bad they are, the motivations behind making them are plain. No one’s out to win any Oscars here. And they bring lots of enjoyment to the people who love them. But, at the same time, it’s nice to have holiday themed things, even a holiday-themed Worst Movies of All Time blog post. And besides, this week’s movie, The Family Stone, is basically Dan in Real Life: Christmas, so we’re already halfway there. Seriously, I could replace half the nouns in my Dan in Real Life write up with “Christmas” and be done. Then it would be egg nog time! Oh well. Since my Christmas present to you is actually sitting through this entire thing (you’re welcome, btw, it was either this or making a donation to NAMBLA in your name), I might as well go the extra step. You know what they say, it’s the blog post that counts. Won’t you come ride in a one-note open blog post with me? Old Blog Syne! Ugh.

Dermot Mulroney brings his girlfriend Sarah Jessica Parker home to meet his CRAZY family. They are so crazy. Just to give you an example of how crazy his family is, one of them is gay! And also deaf! That’s nuts! Everyone hates Sarah Jessica Parker because she is a business woman, and if there’s one thing that close knit families who wear homemade sweaters and have surprisingly rigid traditions hate it’s SQUARES. So Sarah Jessica Parker decides to check into a bed and breakfast because she can’t take her boyfriend’s family, and that’s something someone in a couple does, is go to a bed and breakfast during Christmas because you’re grumpy. Meanwhile, Dermot Mulroney is going to propose to Sarah Jessica Parker despite the fact that he quite visibly hates her, and everyone in the family tells him that he’s making a mistake to try and marry her. But they don’t think it’s a mistake because of how his lack of love for her will lead to a disastrous marriage, which is why it’s a mistake, they just think it’s a mistake because they all hate her for their own weird, selfish, anti-authoritarian, NPR-tote-bag reasons. All of them except Dermot Mulroney’s brother Luke Wilson, who is in love with her. Huh. So Sarah Jessica Parker’s sister Claire Danes shows up, and she’s not a business woman, so the family loves her, and also Dermot Mulroney loves her, and to make a long story short, Dermot Mulroney and Sarah Jessica Parker leave each other for their respective siblings, and then Diane Keaton dies of cancer. Christmas!

I’ll be up front: I’m not sure that I’m ready to cede Worst Genre of All Time to Films About Eccentric Families. I just think that ultimately the Mentally Retarded Renews A Jaded Businessman’s Sense of Wonder genre is a little worse. But this is a close second. A very, very close second.

Now, let us be clear, the Stone family cannot logically exist. That is the most infuriating thing about this movie, because when the fundamental core of your entire narrative is fundamentally flawed, nothing else works. I come from the type of close-knit, liberally minded family that movies like this are supposed to be about, and I can tell you that my family makes more narrative sense than this one. For one thing, a close-knit, liberally minded family might be guardedly at odds with a no-nonsense business woman, but openly hostile? Everyone in this family is a fucking asshole to Sarah Jessica Parker, and then acts like she’s the weird one for deciding not to put up with it. Because they’re such a crazy family! So odd! It’s tough for outsiders to understand! No, it’s not tough. Your family sucks.

Let’s talk about this:

Um, Sarah Jessica Parker is right. I mean, the nature vs. nurture thing is a bait but the switch is that there is no such thing as a mother who wishes all her kids were gay. What is that? Fuck you, everyone involved with this. We do live in an intolerant society where being gay can be a tremendous burden. That doesn’t mean that families shouldn’t love and nurture everyone in the family equally, gay or straight, but thank you Sarah Jessica Parker’s retarded character for having the fake balls to point out that Diane Keaton’s retarded character is even more retarded. Nuts. Not to mention the fact that Diane Keaton’s insistence that the environment couldn’t have turned her son gay because she had ugly drapes is insanely homophobic. This scene makes me so angry. And SERIOUSLY, DEAF, GAY GUY WITH A BLACK BOYFRIEND? (Because you can never be too idiosyncratic when it comes to being a cipher movie character inserted for the specific purpose of being the foundation for so many condescending political points.) You’re so insecure with the contented, successful life that you’ve built up for yourself by overcoming the hurtle of an extreme disability, and the inevitable day-to-day bigotry that anyone in a a bi-racial homosexual relationship confronts, that you freak out the first time some stupid woman you’ve never even met before offers a totally legitimate interpretation of events and need your mommy to remind you she loves you? I’m sorry, but stop being a faggot.

But every moment of the movie is basically like that. You’re either being hit over the head with some MEANING, or some SUBTEXT is being slipped into your egg nog. The worst. And as thrilled as I’m sure the casting agent was with his or herself for putting together this all-star line-up, and all of these actors are very talented, but I’m sorry, Dermot Mulroney, Luke Wilson, and Rachel McAdams aren’t all siblings from the parents of Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson. Same goes for the “sisters” Sarah Jessica Parker and Claire Danes. Just because you can get a famous actor to sign on for your family dramedy doesn’t mean that it makes any sense to do so. Unbelievable.

AND WAIT, GOING BACK TO THAT GAY COUPLE FOR A SECOND, for a movie that is so bold in its defense of “gay rights,” or “whatever,” and so open in its “real” sexuality that it features a masectomy-sex scene:

How come the two gay guys never kiss? There’s a lot of hugging and knowing smiles at each other, you know, the kind of gay romance that makes straight people feel proud of themselves for not throwing up, but actually they’re completely sexless. Real Talk. Real Bullshit.

This movie’s love triangle is particularly complicated. You’re going to tell me that there are four people who all think that it’s totally legitimate to fuck your siblings’ significant other on Christmas? That’s a thing? Then there’s the traditional romantic comedy failure of giving anyone any reason for liking each other. Sarah Jessica Parker’s prudish business woman with a chronic case of frigidity leaves her almost-fiance because she falls in love with his ne’er do well pot-addicted brother, Luke Wilson? OK, but why? No, I know that it’s a convenient plot device, but why? Similarly, Dermot Mulroney’s equally buttoned-down, at-odds-with-his-family business man with a chronic inability to not seem to hate everyone falls in love with Clare Danes at first sight? OK, but what grounds their relationship to make it last? What’s that? Are you there? Hello? And of course the movie makes no attempt at explaining why everyone hates Sarah Jessica Parker when she’s Dermot Mulroney’s girlfriend, but she is instantly welcomed and beloved when she’s Luke Wilson’s? What? WHAT?

Then there’s the fact that this movie is just plain stupid. Your Christmas present is that I’m going to stop talking about it and allow us to all move on with our lives. You are welcome. Merry Christmas.

Comments (86)
  1. Leo  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 -1

    damnit i hate sarah jessica parker
    she has a foot face

  2. Chadams  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +1

    Oh good god – the mastectomy sex scene. Thanks for reminding me to hide this DVD before the in-laws come.

  3. ugh that scene! did SJP not learn to quit while she was ahead in business school?

  4. Lizzie  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +11

    I hated this movie the whole way through. Gabe, you are so right – the “knowing smiles and glances” gay relationship is the exact one that cause people to proudly exclaim that they have a gay friend/relative…because that couple never does something like get a little tipsy and start to make out or get handsy with one another when everyone is out somewhere, they keep it at smirks. But I think the worst part of this move is where Claire Danes accidentally gets the engagement ring stuck on her finger and now the two charactors have to get married, because obviously thats what that means, right? Instead of hahahaa, whoops! lets go get some crisco and slide this bad boy off. And also, the reason they suddenly like SJP at the end is because she let her hair down, that means she is not uptight anymore. Seriously, I was such a psycho hose beast until I threw out all my scrunchies.

  5. shethhhh  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 -59

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  6. I completely agree Gabe. The whole ending of the movie is way too impossible and improbable.

  7. As impossible as it all is, (and horrible and ridiculous, etc.), for a holiday movie, it’s actually not the worst. Because every year there are 2 billion Family Stone wannabes on Hallmark channel and Lifetime and ABC Family that make this look like the Christmas Godfather of movies. That doesn’t make you less right. It only makes you hitting the tip of the shit iceberg when it comes to the worst holiday movie of all time. I forget if I had another point. I’m sure it doesn’t matter.

  8. I agree that this movie is terrible, but I feel like you are missing the overall most terrible part of this movie: SARAH JESSICA PARKER IS THE WORST and also your girlfriend.

  9. Courtney  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 -49

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Leo  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +1

      I kind of agree that tina fey and sjp are in the same hotness ranking, but i find tina fey hotter because she makes me laugh hard. and when i see sarah jessica parker it makes me want to puke a little cause i always get the image of kim catrall’s bare breasts and her creepy man-voice.

      But i think the worse holiday movie is JINGLE ALL ZE WAY!!!

    • Also, Tina Fey writes the best motherfucking show on television, along with acting in it. Let me know when SJP comes anywhere close to that. And I don’t even find SJP that ugly, but I think TIna is stunning at times. If I were straight, I’d be on that.

  10. SJP Is always Carrie Bradshaw= EWWWsville.

  11. Mary Mouse  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +2

    THANK YOU GABE for going all Unethicist on this infuriating movie!

  12. Mark  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 0

    So bad, that I took my mom to see it in theatres, and we walked out midway.

    Just irritating, poorly acted (Diane Keaton should be ashamed), fuckton stupid movie.

    • Diane Keaton has A SHIT TON to be ashamed about in her later career:
      because i said so
      the first wives club
      mad money
      mamas boy

      i mean omg diane keaton do you have an agent anymore?

  13. A Gentleman  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +2

    Hey, dont knock on mastectomy sex until you’ve tried it! Me and my grandma used to always start with a little “find the lump.” Wait, what?

  14. hank  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 -2

    i love this movie.

  15. Up to now I had managed to forget that I saw this movie with my wife and then got into a big fight with her after saying it was the worst. Thanks, Gabe, for the Christmas gift that brought back that treasured memory.

  16. Having seen neither this nor Dan In Real Life, this is my amateur opinion, but this comes across as significantly worse. True, Dan has Dane Cook, but there doesn’t seem to be the annoying social/political undercurrents that are present here. I’m with you 100% on making a gay relationship clean for audiences.

  17. Jay  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +12

    I couldn’t agree more about gay cipher characters. The only purpose any gay characters play in “straight” movies is to make the supposedly open minded audience feel better about themselves. God forbid anyone should ever see any gay characters whose sexuality isn’t a fucking plot point. We live amongst you and we don’t always advertise it with good taste in window treatments. Fuck you Films About Eccentric Families. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re eccentric. Most gays are boring, just like most people.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • LOL I think you greatly misinterpreted his point. I think he’s pointing to the fact that most gay characters in films are present because of precisely that — they’re gay. It’s rare to come across a gay character in films whose sexual orientation doesn’t serve as an important plot point. Most gay characters are in movies so the other characters can discuss how they’re gay.

        I can think of one example where this doesn’t really hold true, which is in the film “Little Miss Sunshine”. Steve Carrell’s character is gay (and it’s mentioned) but it hardly serves as a crucial plot device. We learn a lot of other things about his background and his heartbreak, but the details are not exclusive to gay people, if you know what I’m trying to say.

        “Not Another Gay Movie” was horrible and I’ve never seen “Brokeback Mountain,” but I think you completely missed Jay’s point.

        • MIchael  |   Posted on Mar 7th, 2009 +2

          Completely agree, the poster you replied to completely missed the point. And a great point, at that.

          One of the best gay representations I’ve ever seen was last years Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. The homocore band member were depicted in a very honest way that was integral to the other character’s personalities, not just as a plot point.

          I also always loved Josh Brolin and Richard Jenkins in Flirting With Disaster.

          Also, again, Gabe nails this commentary. Hilarious.

  18. Lena  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 -1

    Why have you all seen this movie? Gabe has a mission so I can almost get behind his watching it, but I don’t understand why the rest of you saw (and know) this movie enough to bicker with him about it. The ending sucks? Not surprising. That you likely paid money in some form to see it? Surprising.

    • Ruth  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2008 +5

      That’s an interesting question. I think maybe the previews looked decent? I remember being moderately excited about it, even seeing it on opening night with a group of friends. After all, I like family stories, I like Rachel McAdams (look out, America’s, she’s your sweetheart), and I even like having my heart warmed at Christmastime. Little did I know that fateful decision would turn me into a core of rage that still burns so hotly that my sofa just caught on fire. Gabe, everything you wrote is perfect, but if you were to publish a 2,000-word post each week illuminating different aspects of why the Family Stone sucks ass (unlike its neutered gays), I would be a happy woman indeed.

  19. What’s with all the venom against SJP? There’s plenty shit to talk about this movie without bringing in SJP’s looks. The “SJP is ugly” contingent reeks of sexism. (Full diclosure, i.e. Real Talk: I’m luke warm on her unless she’s on Letterman but seriously people.)

  20. Yeah, I don’t hate SJP really, mainly because I don’t care.
    But this movie was hell. I watched it on the plane, and I agree with all the other comments about gays being just the character for people to feel good about themselves, but they would never want that relationship to be the main point of the movie, or to see any intimacy.
    Ugh, there’s just so much wrong with this movie, I feel so deflated even posting about it.

  21. hilary  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 +9

    thanks for writing this. the family stone is absolutely one of the worst movies of all time, not because of its genre, but because it isnt even good at it. instead of being heartwarming, its about a bunch of seemingly left leaning, eccentric family being ridiculously mean to poor Sarah Jessica Parker all because her hair’s pulled up real tight. that dinner scene is the worst. SJP’s character made a legitatimate point, and it wasnt even that offense, but for the father to snap at her like that? and the black guy going, ‘we ve been hit twice” what the fuck does that mean? clearly SJP isnt a homophobe or anything, she was just pointing out that in reality, a lot of people still are, but they all jump on her as if she has a swastika tattooed on her chest. fucking christ.

  22. Don’t worry, I’m sure there was a meeting in which the writer and director debated over whether the deaf-gay character should also be a mentally handicapped amputee war-veteran transvestite prostitute baby-murdering novel writer but they found it sort of campy.

  23. In a way doesn’t Diane Keaton play a mentally retarded person who renews Sarah Jessica Parker’s jaded businesswoman’s sense of wonder? This movie belongs in both of the worst genres.

    • “In a way doesn’t Diane Keaton play a mentally retarded person who renews Sarah Jessica Parker’s jaded businesswoman’s sense of wonder? This movie belongs in both of the worst genres.”

      Funniest thing I’ve ever read.

  24. sandi  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 0

    I thought this movie was all right in a kind of “nothing to do with a sibling I don’t have much in common with but sit in a dark movie theater for two hours and watch a movie” kind of way. the film didn’t really commit to anything, so it was easier not to have to talk about it afterwards.

    I’m glad SJP finally stopped trying to be such an individual and got rid of that awful wicked witch of the west mole action she had going on for a while. she DID get rid of that thing, right ?

  25. TS  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 +2

    Thank you, Gabe, for subjecting yourself to this holocaust of a flick. Now, if you’re not done with the family dramedy genre, I’d like to see you take on yet another torture aide:

    Running with Scissors. I don’t really know where to begin on the horrors of that movie, but the ‘cathartic’ screaming at the camera by the cast set to “Year of the Cat” may be it.

    • oh, yes! I pretended to fall asleep during this movie just so people wouldn’t think I was actually watching it. when they left the room, I turned it off. unwatchable garbage. thank God I wasn’t stuck in the theater like I was during across the effing universe (still the worst!)

  26. Sammy  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 +3

    I dont understand how movies like this get made when they obviously have no real direction. Are you supposed to hate or like the family? Are you supposed to hate or like SJP? The movie starts and ends with the same questions. So they didnt really develop any characters or any plotlines. You watch characters ranging from mildly likable (Owen Wilson) to completely unrelatable (everyone else) run around on screen bothering the fuck out of you for 2 hours and your reward for enduring this is…..what? I almost think this type of movie needs its own genre. What is a name for a genre where you simply watch characters do things for 2 hours? They arent building towards anything or leading anywhere….they just do things.

  27. dagnabbit  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 -2

    August Rush!!!

    I saw this on a plane. Thank God I did not have the earphones on, though I could have improvised the dialogue based on what I saw (the horror!). I was especially groaning during the Robin Williams / ragtag orphan thieves / Fagin sequences…soooo laughably bad!

  28. Oh my gosh I completely agree!! This movie is terrible and that scene at the dinner table you posted is completely unwatchable. None of the characters are likable in the least! Except for maybe Luke Wilson, who while still being unreal is still not a huge asshole like the rest of the family. I usually love Diane Keaton, but she completely missed with this one.

    -The Uniblogger

  29. david  |   Posted on Dec 24th, 2008 +1

    i couldnt even watch the whole clip…im switching back to lost season 1

  30. Gabe, I love you, and you’re the most normal person out of all these assholes, sitting at this table.

    Or something like that, I’m not watching the clip again to get the quote exactly right. Brrrrr, that was one shitty scene.

  31. ck  |   Posted on Dec 24th, 2008 +1

    It definitely qualifies as a Worst Movie (W-MOAT?), because, unlike Hallmark and Lifetime movies, FamStone was disguised as a movie that might actually be worthwhile. We were all duped into paying money for it. Even halfway through, I refused to give up on it.

    I remember seeing this with a friend in the theater in the mall, during a particularly desolate period in our lives. When it was over, we looked at each other and made a silent pact to never speak of it again.

  32. emilyann  |   Posted on Dec 24th, 2008 0

    My ipod broke on the way TO my vacation and I was fored to watch this on a plane and found that particular scene that was posted to be so unbelievably infuriating that I couldn’t watch one more second of it. This is one of the worst movies I have ever had the misfortune of seeing and I’m glad that so many people are on the same page. I mean really, who wants to make their children’s lives harder in a retty hateful world? WTF. Everyone in this movie is a giant self-involved douche bag. Anyways, it was OBVIOUSLY playing on the flight home too. Just like Wimbledon. I’m pretty sure that is the only in-flight movie ever. Can I nominate wimbledon, too? WORST.

  33. Cheesey  |   Posted on Dec 24th, 2008 0

    Family Stone and Dan in Real Life are indeed terrible.

    Neither can hold a candle to Patch Adams, however.

  34. matt  |   Posted on Dec 25th, 2008 0

    have you considered Howard the duck for a future blog?

  35. GordonGrehan  |   Posted on Dec 26th, 2008 +3

    So Diane Keaton made her son gay because her carpet didn’t match her drapes? That seems plausible to me.

  36. This is my family. Same thing happened to us. I swear.

  37. Okay, so. I like the movie actually, but then again when I saw it I wasn’t super-analyzing everything. I like it because it’s a family movie (not exactly a movie you’d watch with the family but a movie about a family). And maybe the dialogue and the reasons for the dialogue aren’t perfect, but the topics are out there to evoke discussion. I’d give the creators/writers/directors credit for that. And maybe I’m in the minority (aside from being black, gay and Native American), but I think SJP is pretty… in some light. Everybody’s just tired of looking at her (I say as I watch SATC S6 on DVD.).

  38. Deezey  |   Posted on Dec 27th, 2008 +4

    Yes, this movie totally blew, but how about it’s one redeeming quality….Rachel McAdams in a Dinasaur Jr. T-shirt???

  39. A little of topic, but I just saw the spirit and I would have to reccomend that for the worst movie of all time.

  40. hilary  |   Posted on Dec 28th, 2008 0

    NEXT: nick and nora’s infinite playlist. the expectations werent high for this one, but it still managed an overwhelmingly Epic Fail.

  41. sol  |   Posted on Dec 28th, 2008 +2

    And doesn’t Rachel McAdams end up with some cop ex boyfriend? Because yes: singlehood = sadness. You can’t have a happy ending unless you hook up a hideous character with someone, ANYONE!
    Also, wouldn’t the coherent thing to do as a mother be to love your children no matter what sexual orientation? What if all her kids turned out straight? She’d love them less? But I guess it’s ok to say that absurdist remark, as we all love the gays, right? That makes it valid, right??
    Worst Mom Alert!

  42. Paul  |   Posted on Dec 29th, 2008 0

    How in the hell has Transformers not been nominated yet? That movie is awful beyond all sane comprehension.

  43. tman  |   Posted on Dec 29th, 2008 0

    thank you for adding this film to the list. it must be remembered as a film that we all wish we could forget.

  44. Did you know that you can max out your Netflix queue? I did – 500 movies. You know what’s better? That this column has helped me delete some of them. I actually had a friend recommend Family Stone AND Dan in Real Life. I’m not hanging out with her anymore.

  45. Gabe, you really need to consider “Run, Fatboy, Run” Directed by DAVID SCHWIMMER (yes, that David Schwimmer) it features not one but THREE training montages. And stereotypical characters galore. It gets four fucking awful stars out of a possible 4 1/2 fucking awful stars.

  46. estuare  |   Posted on Dec 30th, 2008 +2

    I nominate Garden State. It’s in a similar vein as Elizabethtown, but I think it’s worse. Any movie that is so transparently trying to be “quirky,” “hip” and “intelligent” is on my shitlist but this one takes that genre to a new sucktacular level. Natalie Portman is cringetastic as an adolescent hipster’s wet dream – omg she’s so cute, and poor, and creative, and intuitive! The reasonably good soundtrack is at best a crutch that has allowed this movie to get far better reviews than it deserves.

    Oh, and I also hate The Notebook. I don’t understand why the Ryan Gosling character could/should/would put up with such an insufferable bitch! We’re actually supposed to think he’s “sensitive?” Come ON! I’m sorry, but there are plenty of women who don’t treat men like shit. No man has to put up with someone like that, no matter how “sensitive” he is. I find the universal acceptance that the Rachel McAdams character is a reasonable depiction of an actual human being upsetting. Nicholas Sparks must not like women very much.

  47. leslie (not)  |   Posted on Dec 31st, 2008 0

    I remember buying the DVD (at a reduced price) thinking it would have a Meet the Parents type of humor…oh god was I wrong! Fortunately I was able to sell it off Craigslist, and when asked why I was selling it I remember giving some bullshit answer that would make them still take the DVD. Ugh…I still have a bad aftertaste from that =P

  48. I’d like to submit “Lucky You” by Curtis Hanson. It’s fucking awful. I love poker, Robert Duvall and the “idea” of Eric Bana as a lead star. It fails at every turn. Chalk full of schmaltz and cheese and fake tension, this film is honestly and truly the worst movie ever made.

  49. I love you, Gabe!

  50. redspraypaint  |   Posted on Jan 4th, 2009 0

    Bangkok Dangerous. Please do Bangkok Dangerous. Please.

  51. my girlfriend now hates me for loving this review.

  52. julie  |   Posted on Jan 5th, 2009 0

    PLEASE review ‘The Last Kiss’. Summer from The OC, ZAC BRAFF, pervy ZAC BRAFF, and dudes who cheat on their pregnant fiancees! YAAAY.

  53. craptastical  |   Posted on Jan 5th, 2009 -1

    this exploration of cinematic garbage is incomplete sans The Postman with Kevin “Fail” Costner.

  54. ejm  |   Posted on Jan 5th, 2009 0

    Why is it all of these horrible movies are movies that my wife likes? She has the worst taste in movies, but is very stylish in every other way…I have unfortunately seen most of these craptacular movies.

    SJP has a foot for a face? That has to be the line of the year!

  55. sol  |   Posted on Jan 8th, 2009 +4

    I’m sorry to be back, but yesterday I remembered this at work, and it made me so stabby (and also, how come Gabe didn’t point this out? I doubt he ever saw the movie…): The Charades Scene.
    So, SJP has to do “The bride wears black”, and is accused by RMcA of pointing at the black man in the room for the word “black”. It’s never clear if SJP did this on purpose or not, but RMcA does indeed give her that movie title, just to put her in that situation. What a witch that starts with a B.
    Also, how stupid is that family, taking “black” as an insult. To me, the fact that they feel that way about the term “black” suggest their own prejudice, thinking it’s such a bad thing to say to a black person. I don’t know, correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s not like SJP was trying to act out the word “slave” or “inferior”. What’s the deal with that? Is being black such a curse to that family?
    It reminded me of the Diversity Day episode of The office, when Michael is all “I’m colorblind”: that’s not tolerance, it’s ignorance.

  56. gmond  |   Posted on Jan 11th, 2009 0

    You hit almost every idiotic situation in this miserable excuse for a film but one – I’ve never heard of anyone outside of the Jerry Springer show announcing that they have screwed their sex partner’s sibling in front of the sex partner’s entire family, and if that wasn’t stupid enough, that person’s sibling is introduced to screw the ex sex partner so that they can all have a big pseudo-incestuous happy family gathering. Eww.

  57. I hate this movie more than any movie I have ever seen. It is so heavy handed in the socio/politico opinions, and you are confused the whole time about who you are supposed to hate more SJP or the family. They make SJP out to be the uptight bad guy and the family be the likable liberals, but you end up hating the family and kind of liking SJP. It is just so bad I cannot even write anymore. Me and my girlfriend ended up yelling at the TV, turning it off, then finishing it the next day just to see if it ever made sense. It didn’t

  58. okay..  |   Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 0

    Although yes this isn’t the best movie ever made, any critique made or addition to the list of “worst movie ever” prove to be invalid because the purpose of the movie is lost through the magnification this article brings to a mediocre movie that shouldn’t be discussed at all, when there are great movies to be discussed, and dissected by the masses by someone who is flawed by awknowleding the website’s opinion as the societal norm and disregarding any original thought. The are simply reflecting on the authors own making their own opinions flawed and limited.

    • Vic  |   Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 0

      Man, could you get any more words into that enormous run-on sentence? Because your point has wandered off somewhere along the way.

  59. carrie bradsahw fan!  |   Posted on Jan 31st, 2009 0

    sjp is awsum she cracked me up in this movie! god i love her! i think this is one of the best movies ever i was really funny i think everyone miss the humor in this movie! and i dont knw why everyone hates sarah jessica shes fucking ledgend!

  60. LuLu  |   Posted on Feb 19th, 2009 +1

    Did anyone ever answer SJP’s question in this retarded movie? Here it is..NO HETEROSEXUAL COUPLE who ever got pregnant since the beginning of time has ever thought..WOW, I hope my kid is GAY. Hollywood is so intellectually and emotionallydishonest. Sorry, forgot this movie was all about bashing the conservative in the room. HOW DID THIS NOT GET AN OSCAR???

  61. Hayaka  |   Posted on Feb 21st, 2009 -1

    Okay, it ain’t Hamlet, but it’s hardly one of the worst movies ever. Family Stone got favorable reviews from the New York Times, LA Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, and over half of the 140 reviewers summarized at Rotten Tomatoes. One of the all-time worst movies is not going to get a majority of professional reviewers thinking it’s pretty good.

    I thought it was a mildly entertaining, clash of cultures little yarn with decent character development. It did tie up a little too neatly at the end, but what do you expect from a holday film?

    I think y’all all need to get more fresh air if this quirkly little movie causes so much angst and gnashing of teeth.

  62. Peter  |   Posted on Feb 21st, 2009 0

    The worst thing about The Family Stone was that the mother died of breast cancer. I mean, if she had died from something virulently contagious and absolutely fatal, it might have carried off all the other petty, sanctimonious, self-absorbed characters in this festering zit of a movie. Worst ever? Yeah, it’s in the team photo. I, like many of the other respondents, was caught unawares by this abomination during an airplane flight. Afterward, I wanted to sue the airline for eyeball rape. I had forgotten how tooth-grindingly angry the whole experience made me. Thanks for the memories.

  63. murraystar  |   Posted on Mar 17th, 2009 -2

    You know I’d consider another Claire Danes movie where she a lot uglier called Romeo + Juliet.

  64. murraystar  |   Posted on Mar 17th, 2009 -2

    You know, I’d reccomend another Claire Danes movie where she was a lot uglier called Romeo + Juliet.

  65. murraystar  |   Posted on Mar 17th, 2009 -3

    You know, I’d reccomend another Claire Danes movie called Romeo + Juliet.

  66. fsfan  |   Posted on Apr 15th, 2009 -1

    really Peter???? you’re gonna say the worst thing is diane dying of breast cancer??? cause that’s not fatal and the second leading cause of death by cancer in women. I think using something that is becoming almost an epidemic amongst women (men can get it too) is a way to RELATE with the audience. If she died of something no one has heard of and is contagious, what would the audience take away??

    This is one of the best family movies and I think all of you should recognize that SJP was nominated for a Golden Globe for this film.

  67. Monke  |   Posted on Jul 18th, 2009 0

    Yup – that movie was a piece of poop.

  68. Darcy  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    I don’t know, I really like the scene you posted. I remember watching it when I was in high school and majorly depressed about being gay, and finding it really comforting. It’s true that the stuff SJP is saying is technically true–yeah, okay, it’s hard to be gay–but it would make me really fucking uncomfortable if I was just hanging out with my family making jokes about being gay and some person piped up all seriously, “Well, wouldn’t it be better if you weren’t gay? I mean, [Darcy's mom], don’t you wish that Darcy was straight?” Even if you’re actually saying something that is true, I think that a straight person randomly talking in a really serious, uptight, earnest way about how hard it is to be gay, to a gay person who she doesn’t even know who seems to feel just fine about being gay, can make the gay person feel really freakish/awkward, and it displays at least some level of homophobia that SJP feels the need to police everyone’s gay-positive feelings.

    I know this is just a funny website, and I’m having a good time reading the Worst Movie of All Time posts, but I was taken aback by this because I liked this movie for precisely this scene. Although it’s not a particularly good movie, quality-wise.

  69. A. Nonny Mouse  |   Posted on Oct 18th, 2009 -1

    I LOVED this movie! I think it’s because I’m old. I AM the target audience. I hate SJP (who doesn’t?) but love the whole premise. I could watch this a thousand times and never tire of it. Mr. Rogers has his audience, so does The Family Stone. Two enourmous thumbs up.

  70. A. Nonny Mouse  |   Posted on Oct 18th, 2009 -1

    I LOVED this movie! I think it’s because I’m old. I AM the target audience. I hate SJP (who doesn’t?) but love the whole premise. I could watch this a thousand times and never tire of it. Mr. Rogers has his audience, so does The Family Stone. Two enourmous thumbs up.

  71. A. Nonny Mouse  |   Posted on Oct 18th, 2009 -1

    I LOVED this movie! I think it’s because I’m old. I AM the target audience. I hate SJP (who doesn’t?) but love the whole premise. I could watch this a thousand times and never tire of it. Mr. Rogers has his audience, so does The Family Stone. Two enourmous thumbs up.

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