Wow. This is easily the worst show on television! And there are so many bad shows on there! 50 Cent was wrong yesterday when he said that The Money and the Power was like The Apprentice but the difference was that no one wanted to work for him. No, the difference is that NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH this. Not only does it seem like a half-hearted rip off, but it’s also boring. And so cheaply produced. I don’t think this show ever got the green light to actually get made, but some intrepid producers decided to just throw something together and see if anyone would be willing to air it.

The contestants are split into two teams, and each team is led by a boss. You know who is the boss because they wear a DOO RAG with a B on the front. The B stands for BOSS. The theme of the first show is “choose your crew wisely,” although as far as I’m concerned that’s the show’s only theme because I am not watching this ever again. But so, the members of the two teams are forced to chain themselves together, “chain gang style,” and make their way to Camp Curtis on Franklin Avenue in Brooklyn. OK. One of the teams knocks down an old woman and gets in a fight over whether or not they have time to help her up? The worst. Everyone on that team should be embarrassed, but if they’re not, no worries, I’m plenty embarrassed for them. Correction: ashamed, plenty ashamed. One of the two teams wins (who cares), and the boss of that team, a white dude with corn rows, is safe from elimination, but not safe from his own decision making when it comes to hairstyles. Camp Curtis is the saddest piece of shit reality show house I’ve ever seen. Whoever wins this show will get $100,000 to invest in their own business, which I’d like to remind everyone is $150,000 LESS than the winner of I LOVE MONEY received. I Love Money is ballin’ way harder than 50 Cent. The least they could have done was sink that remaining $150,000 into the set for the show. It seriously was put together by a teenager who was given 50 dollars, some continuity polaroids from Shredder’s warehouse in the original live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and the caveat to “make it the saddest.”

Someone gets eliminated or something. Whatever. The real loser of this show is rapper Tony Yayo, who works as 50 Cent’s Carolyn and George. From the very beginning, 50 Cent is totally undermine-y and dismissive of Tony Yayo’s humanity:

“Tony Yayo is a perfect underboss because he can take orders. He’ll do whatever I tell him. Tony Yayo, get under that bus. Face first, Tony Yayo. There you go. Choose your crew wisely.”

Poor Tony Yayo. He’s like the Rodney Dangerfield of G Unit, he can’t get no respect. Here’s the second best (worst) Yayo moment from the show:

I want a shirt that says “Losers Go With Yayo.”

Admittedly, 50 Cent does have the best reality show catchphrase in the game. “Get the fuck out.” Perfect. Too bad that is what everyone is going to do, because this shit is impossible.