Posted on Sep 19th, 2008 by Gabe 11 Comments

This guy is your boyfriend. For real this time. You date him. You’ve been dating him forever and you guys are talking about moving in together.

(thanks for the tip, Todd)

He does have a point, though. I’m not sure that I agree with his foreign policy towards Iran, but I definitely think that the next administration should seriously consider engaging the American military in new wars. Namely the war on this guy. We should bomb his smug face from the sky, no troops. We could probably use slingshots and beat him. He threatens the world.

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Comments (11)
  1. Kevin  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    i mean, this has to be a joke

    Reply
  2. bree  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    aw, y’all totally forgot to mention that this was the guy who was drugged by a girl he brought back to his room and robbed of 120,000 dollars worth of shit. she’s my new hero.

    Reply
  3. bobbbbb  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    “As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment. If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape drugs can be used on men, too.”

    awesome. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CONVENTION_DELEGATE_ROBBED?SITE=TXDAM&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

    Reply
  4. mmmmmm  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    he’s also a personal injury lawyer (i know, it just keeps getting better)

    http://www.sandslaw.us/commercial1.html

    very classy

    Reply
  5. Becca  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    i’m convinced that this man is a part of some larger viral marketing scheme….

    Reply
  6. I PEE GOLD  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    After the interview he went outside, put his truker cap on, then hopped in his fighter jet while fucking a girl in a American flag bikini. All while scream-singing SIMPLE MAN by Lynard Skynard.

    Reply
  7. Jeb  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008

    strategical is my new favorite word!

    Reply
  8. Str8MurdaSon  |   Posted on Sep 23rd, 2008

    So this guy works for like MoveOn.org or something, right? There’s no way this is real.

    Reply
  9. Str8MurdaSon  |   Posted on Sep 23rd, 2008

    Wait, the article about him being robbed said he reported a “$1500 cell phone”.

    So, did he like, glue 5 iphones together?

    Reply

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