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I still don’t quite know what to make of the whole True Blood thing. On the one hand, its heavy handed yet somehow also very thin metaphor of Vampire as Other became truly unbearable this week not only in the ridiculous argument between Bill and Jason over whether Vampires deserve equal rights under the law, but in a shot I had not noticed last week during the opening montage of a sign that said “God Hates Fangs.” Yikes. I’m going to have to send the producers of True Blood a medical bill for all this BEATING OVER THE HEAD I’m taking. Get it? Do you get it? (That’s me impersonating Alan Ball if Alan Ball had made the medical bill joke.)
At the same time, it’s not unwatchable. Sure, it’s slow and plodding most of the time, and almost all of the humor falls flat, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW IF SOMEONE’S ABOUT TO GET TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE. It doesn’t seem like that could be enough to carry a whole show, but sometimes that’s enough to carry a whole show.
So, it continues to be both terrible and mildly entertaining. Classic Alan Ball. There’s one thing that I do know for sure, though, and that’s that everyone on True Blood speaks with an unbearable accent. The only thing I’m unsure of is exactly who is the worst.
Is it Andy Bellefleur?
That’s not very good! But the actor, Chris Bauer, played Frank Sobotka, so he gets a pass on this one. At some point, all these Wire guys aren’t going to get free passes anymore (I’m looking at you, Tristan Wilds on the new 90210. I’m looking at you so much!) But it’s not this point.
How about Dawn Green?
I just looked at Lynn Collins’s IMDB page, and she has had such a rough string of projects, including The Number 23, 13 Going on 30, 50 First Dates, and The Lake House, that her accent in True Blood is really the last thing to complain about.
Sam Merlotte, owner of Merlotte’s?
This would be a lot worse if you couldn’t compare it, as I am about to compare it, to Tara Thornton’s accent.
She is really the worst. Every time she starts talking I feel like I’m watching a MadTV sketch about a really rude person. When your southern accent is less convincing than the entire cast of Talladega Nights, you need to go back to Accent School and start all over again. Like the Billy Madison of accents.
Nevertheless, even if it is only for the amount of time she spends on the screen, the worst accent on the show, hands down, goes to Sookie Stackhouse.
The winner for Best Accent, or as this competition would have it, “least loser,” is Ryan Kwanten in the role of Jason Stackhouse. His accent is cheesy good ol’ boy 101, and yet it somehow is one of the least egregious performances in the whole show. Also he’s from Australia, so he’s basically the Stringer Bell of True Blood.
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I don’t watch True Blood. But I do read Gabe’s recaps, just for all The Wire references.
all the accents are deeply foolish and inaccurate, but the show is pretty ok.
Tara definitely wins/loses. Her accent is so bad, I can hardly stand to watch her scenes. It’s just…painful.
Tara is the absolute worst accent-wise.
If you ignore the heavy-handed metaphors the show is pretty entertaining I think. The opening credits are the best part of the show though.
I think the accents are hilarious. I like the way they say vampire, it’s like “Vam-PIE-ur”.
What about Jason’s friend on the construction site who is supposed to be the Cajun? At first I thought it was a speech impediment, then heard them address Sookie as “Cher.” What makes him think Cajuns sound like their tongue is covered in Vaseline?
screw ALL of this talk of accents…
who spied the faux-paper that read ‘angelina adopts vampire baby’???
funny sh!t
Aaaaauuuggh…I just watched e2 this morning, and it is, quite honestly, nearly unwatchable due to the ATROcious accents. I think the worst was the original Tara, who played Whitney on Passions. The guy playing the vampire lead is the only non-horrible actor in this. If you can’t pull of an accent…just don’t.
They could at least have gotten a coach, and tried to all have the same accent. Since they’re all from the same tiny lil’ town – and they don’t even have La. accents. They’re just…horrible.
That, and all the heavy-handed silliness – and the softcore porn. WTF?
It’s funny that Ryan Kwanten and Stephen Moyer got a pass, considering they’re from Australia and England respectively.
Well, Southern accents descend from British and French accents. So no surprise a Brit and an Aussie would do the best job.
Even before I read this post I was like, “Oh the actress that plays Tara! Hands Down Worst Accent!”
I can’t wait until Bill and Sookie have someserious, hot naked sex.
http://www.worleygig.com
Did Sookie move to LA from Alabama? They are filming LA, right? Do they not hear how the locals around them speak? Terribleness
Good posts!
Kristal
I wanted to LOVE this show. Right now, I like it as a friend. A friend who is kind of cool when drinking, but boring when sober.
Personally? I just luuuuuuuuv all those “bad southern accents” all over the place on this show! I mean they’re one of the reasons why the Washington Post is calling it “an audacious, outrageous, playfully grisly comic drama.” C’mon lighten up y’all!!
Tara’s accent is, by far, the worst. Lafayette’s accent is the best. The accents really take away from my enjoyment of the show, but maybe that is because I grew up in the south. My friends from other parts of the country are not so bothered.
True Blood Main Title Sequence
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URL: http://www.d-kitchen.com/project.php?p=128
DK Credits:
Creative Directors: Matt Mulder, Rama Allen. Live Action Direction: Rama Allen, Morgan Henry, Matthew Mulder, Matt Clark, Tevor Fife; Designers: Rama Allen, Shawn Fedorchuck, Ryan Gagnier, Matthew Mulder, Camm Rowland, Ryan Rothermel, Jacques Broquard; Compositor: Ryan Gagnier; Editor: Shawn Fedorchuck; Producers: Morgan Henry, Kipp Christiansen, Keir Moreano; ECD Paul Mattheaus; EP: Mark Bayshore
The ‘cajun’ accent is definitely the worst… I mean they’re all bad, but damn… the ‘cajun’ guy is seriously painful to listen to.