If you look like Mario Lopez but are even dumber than Mario Lopez, craigslist has a great job opportunity.

Mario Lopez look-a-like Needed for ESPN Films (SoHo)

We need a young 20s model/actor for a speaking role in a short video being produced by ESPN. Good chance for exposure, but there is no pay. DVD will be provided and shoot should last no more than 30 minutes.

Must have ripped abs and pecs. You will be in a bathing suit, sitting on a lounge chair, promoting an ESPN product. Tasteful and funny, I promise.

Send jpg photos and contact info to accompanying email.

Yeah, no, that’s totally legitimate. ESPN is a mom and pop operation that doesn’t have any money to pay the people it hires to promote it’s “products”, of which there are a ton? Naturally ESPN “products” are best promoted by an almost naked guy sitting in a lounge chair, and all their corporate email addresses end in geocities.69. This sounds like a great opportunity to get your bare foot in the sex door. If you get the job, take some asshole cream and a police officer to the shoot, just in case.