What The Fountainhead is for aspiring architects (and aspiring assholes), Anti-Meth campaigns are for youngsters who hope to one day work in advertising. There seems to be no “meth = bad” angle left unexploited by Madison Avenue, probably because it’s so easy. I mean, meth is pretty bad! Making an anti-meth ad must be like making a “stop hitting yourself” ad. Because one day soon there will be a gritty, utterly convincing anti-methamphetamine commercial for each person in America, here’s one they made in the ’90s to keep a cleanliness-obsessed Ms. Martha Stewart off crank:

Wait, I’ll have the cleanest house on the street? Eh, still not worth meth face. Related: some kid’s view on drugs.