On last night’s episode of I Love Money, the Green and Gold teams were told to split into couples and prepare for some kind of eating game, but when they arrived at the competition, it turned out that the contest was to see who could kiss the longest. Womp womp wannnhhhh. This was mainly bad news for Chance and Mr. Boston, who had paired up to demolish some goat testicles, which are fine to put in your mouth, or butt, anywhere really. These guys will go wild on some goat testicles. But to touch another man’s lips to your lips for even one second? What are you, Osama Bin Laden? If they didn’t kiss for at least one half of a milisecond, their team would be eliminated, so it seemed like they might be able to pull it off. Besides, a trained team of alcohol professionals were waiting off camera to help them drown their sexual questions in well tequila. But Heather on the Gold Team got in Chance’s head.

It would have been on every single internet. Every single one. But apparently, Chance’s refusal was correct, because the show aired more than 12 hours ago and TMZ refuses to cover this IMPORTANT STORY of two male reality TV show contestants touching their male lips for less than one second as part of a competition. There’s nothing like refusing to touch another man’s lips on a game show to prove that you love pussy so much. Chance is a homosexual. There, Chance, your worst fear has come true. Someone on the internet has called you gay. Now you can get on with your so called life having so much sex with all the girls.