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So last night Stephen Colbert showed up with a messed-up face on The Colbert Report, where he was cagey about the provenance of his stitches and shiners in a way that made everyone a lot more curious about it. Stephen celebrated the one-year anniversary of WristStrong (how convenient!) and blamed his face-bustedness on a vow he made to never again break a fall with his hands:
I know some people at Comedy Central so I asked them what the gossip was around the office, and they all came back with similar versions of the same shocking story:
“Stephen tripped over some cocaine and landed in a sharp pile of whores.”
Somewhere, Congressman Robert Wexler is rubbing his hands and smiling.
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hahah. so funny, no really you guys are freakin dumb
I heard he headbutted Will Smith for being a CO$fag.
As an apology for this fake-out, the real rumor is “boating accident.”
Alright, I’ll bite.
That was no boating accident.
Jesus, I feel dirty, like Kevin Smith.
Could Stephen Colbert be considered to be an “enemy” of Scientology? Well there’s your answer.
It was a boating accident…member of the diatribe confirmed it.
BEARS! It was the BEARS!!! They need to remain on Notice!!!!! Damn you BEARS!!! Damn You!!!
that was one pissed off boat…I guess all boats are on notice…Love Boat my ass..