I was having an argument about Heidi and Spencer the other day (obviously, and nullus) in which a friend proposed that they were the worst and did not deserve any attention and that it made this friend sad to hear anything about them and that this friend would just rather that everyone ignored H&S so we could move on with the more important things in our lives. I took up the counter argument that no. To me, Heidi and Spencer represent something endlessly fascinating about our contemporary culture, namely the explosion of voyeuristic vampirism in pop, and our national celebration of the desire for attention. My friend pointed out that Heidi and Spencer are getting exactly what they want, which I think is true, and I also think good for them. If what they want is attention at any cost, no matter how negative, to be the punching bags for a thousand faceless bloggers and lazy late night monologue writers, why fight it? The only thing sadder than that goal is not achieving it.

But then I found out just how much this self-subjection to constant ridicule has earned them.

Since coupling up on The Hills two years ago, the pair have raked in about $3 million from their TV salaries, club appearances, photo shoots and business deals. “We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives,” Heidi says.

(via TheHuffingtonPost)

Heidi has a very loose definition of “entertainment.” Loose in the sense that she has no idea what it means. I apologize to my friend. You were right, friend. I was fine with them getting what they wanted when what I thought they wanted was a historical record of Heidi’s transformation into the first sentient being made entirely of plastic, but three million dollars? That is so many dollars. How much beard moisturizer and dignity-suppression medication do these two need?