I wanted to do a quick follow-up to the news story last week about a man in Colorado who claimed to have captured actual footage of a space alien outside of his house. Stan Romanek appeared on Larry King Live to give us some important updates on the situation. It turns out that the alien was actually a peeping tom? Who just came to Earth to catch a glimpse of this guy’s teenage daughters? And hung around the house for days, apparently, giving Stan Romanek time to contact someone who knew about peeping toms who told him to get a video camera, and whoops, alien footage? And that’s why Jeff Peckman is proposing anti-alien-peeping-tom legislation? Makes sense.

It’s good to see that everyone involved with this interview operates on the buddy system. That is the safest system for swimming and being ridiculous on TV. I also love when Stan Romanek talks about the scientists. You know, the scientists? Those scientists just don’t think it’s time to show the video to people yet. They’ve only had five years to review it, and there’s a lot more science they need to do. If it was up to Stan Romanek, he would show you the footage, but these darn scientists with their brains and their science. You know how scientists get.