Last week I foolishly claimed to have found the new “Why Must I Cry?” While an intoxicated man wearing a Batman mask and singing Guns N’ Roses’ “Patience” out on the train tracks behind his favorite bar is the whole reason the Lawnmower Man took over the internet in the first place, one should never lose sight of the fact that Reh Dogg is the king of the internet and would never let himself be shown up by someone who’s not even writing his own songs. Obviously, only the man behind the original “Why Must I Cry?” could dare to create the next one.

This should seriously be the sample graphics they use in the local cable ads for vocational programs in computer animation. That way, instead of making fun of those ads for being so shitty, you would be going to school to learn how to destroy YouTube.