Photos
I get criticized in the comments pretty regularly for being too negative. Well maybe people should stop making so much horrible shit. The NSFW (audio) teaser trailer for Kevin Smith’s Zak and Miri Make a Porno, guys:
Kevin Smith, with the exception of Mallrats, has always been terrible, but with this movie it’s like he’s trying to win some kind of award. Sorry, whoever likes his stuff. I’m sure you’re a great person with really great taste who loves quality things and just happened to totally biff it on this one. In regards to this teaser for his latest film, he had this to say:
“Don’t call it a trailer, ’cause it’s not a trailer; it’s a teaser,” warns Smith. “There ain’t a frame of footage in this puppy that’s in the actual flick, so feel free to watch it without fear of ‘spoilers’. This is just a little something to give you a bit of a feel for the flick.”
Even the way he talks is bad. “There ain’t a frame of footage in this puppy that’s in the actual flick”? If someone said that to me in conversation I would give them a Jason Bourne Dictionary Punch to the throat.
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 Girl Stuff: The What To Expect When You’re Expecting… |  The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Look Who’s… |  What Is Wrong With Kevin Smith? |  Here Are Some Afternoon Links! |
sure this new movie could suck, but I judge people who don’t like clerks. mallrats was solid, but clerks was brilliant.
Can you like Kevin Smith, person but not like Kevin Smith movies? Because that’s what I do.
Ew, Ajax shower time.
He is the worst thing ever.
Clerks and Chasing Amy were excellent. This seems like a harmless improvised riff with some funny lines and some clunkers, overall unworthy of great praise or derision.
And Kevin Smith’s story that he tells about Superman Exec Jon Peters is the greatest thing ever.
What about Daredevil? I like Daredevil but can it be called a ?Kevin Smith movie? without Jason Mewes?
Totally agree w/ Gabe about Kevin Smith. K.S. has caused himself to think that he’s a worthwhile director when all he’ done is rehashed the same characters, the same dialogue and directed it all similarly – in EVERY movie. Do you want to here him riff about Star Wars as told through two clerks who aren’t clerks but fast food workers this time? Why – because I asked for it in the first place?
I liked Clerks (a lot), but not any of KS’s other movies (that I’ve seen). I don’t know, I don’t usually like to judge movies on such a small amount of info, but seriously? It doesn’t look very promising.
Calling Clerks “brilliant” is stretching the definition of that word to unreasonable lengths. And even if it was fucking Citizen Cane, he negated it with Dogma (which I would nominate for Videogumdotcom worst movie ever.com) and the one where Jennifer Lopez dies. Kevin Smith is a hack who’s now trying to suck the last wisps of air out of a rapidly deflating Apatow novelty balloon. Or something to that effect.
And yes, Gabe is unrelentingly negative, but that’s his gig. HE’S SO ANGRY. Lindsay is the counterbalance, the sweet doddering grandmother that things everything is cute and funny and you’re all like, “Yeah, Grandma, thats great, thanks” because you feel kind of sorry for her. Lindsay is in her 70s, right?
Your negativity is what makes you awesome, sir.
I love that you find Mallrats his only redeeming work, Gabe, because that’s just about how I feel too. Though I’ll admit that Banky’s drawing of the easter bunny and other “figments of your f*ing imagination” in Chasing Amy is high on my list of hilarious film moments.
Look, i am fully on the “Kevin Smith Sucks As A Director” boat.
But these commenters are so off.
Chasing Amy is one of his best?! Chasing Amy is hands down his WORST.
And Dogma is probably his best! And when i say best, i mean that while it wasn’t at all funny, there wasn’t any moment where i had to sigh deeply or roll my eyes because of horrible dialogue. (which seems to be a requirement for every other kevin smith film)