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Are you tired of being nagged by your stupid wife? Do you hate the sound of her voice when she is on the phone to the stupid bitches she’s always talking to all day while you’re trying to nap and do puzzles? Do you wonder why you even married her so long ago you can’t even remember? Finally, a device!
This is the best invention. Not only does it make your stupid horrible wife that is so annoying finally shut the hell up, it allows you to listen in on the conversations of young women at the gym who don’t think you look that old at all. I love that this ad is so aggressively anti-woman that when a woman is using it to listen to her neighbors across the street, they say “Did you meet the new neighbors? He seems nice.” That bitch shouldn’t have been using her husband’s Listen Up anyway, so she got what she deserved. What is he always telling her about touching his stuff?
Real life testimonials from satisfied customers after the jump.
“With Listen Up, I know whether or not I’ll drink myself to sleep before it’s even lunchtime.”
“I can hear from her voice that the blond woman sitting next to me is actually a man.”
“This way I can hear the angel of death approaching.”
“I fuckin’ hate my wife.”
Buy one today.
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Gabe, you’re hilarious…
Listen Up has been one of my favorite old/creepy people advertisements for a while (along with the Jitterbug cell phone thing).
The angle of death is the worst. 93 degrees. Fart.
I’m planning to use the Listen Up as surveillance against my neighbor’s garden gnomes. Those tricky bastards are up to something!
I got one of these for my nearly deaf ex-boyfriend. Unbelievably, it didn’t work! It just makes everything shrill and tinny and if you just brush against the unit to adjust it, it feels like someone punches you in the ear. HARD.
I can’t believe TV would lie to me!