I know that I am losing in my campaign against Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which is weird since I have more money and much more public support than either Spielberg or Lucas (or Ford or LaBeouf). But please check out this new TV spot for the movie, there is something we need to talk about.

Now I know that we can all enjoy a wild ride down nostalgia river and no harm is done to anyone. I recognize the singular pleasures involved in dredging up old memories and youthful feelings of wonder and excitement. And I know that Lucas needs another personal supercollider and Spielberg’s getting the “ideas” gland in his brain cryogenically frozen, and they need a project that can pay for those things. But … um …

DRIVING A TANK OFF OF A WATERFALL?