There’s a “debate” on Fortune today over which offers better lessons on how to approach the job market: newspapers, or reality television. It doesn’t ask the question everyone wants to know, which is how sad are the reality TV stars when they get kicked off the island and have to go back to work at the claims adjustments office (answer: very sad). But the whole “debate” devolves pretty quickly into a game of Who Can Force Their Point The Worst.

Nadira says: Reality show contestants may form “alliances,” but when it comes to creating a lasting network, nothing’s better than your local paper. That’s where you’ll find your community’s real luminaries, and potentially amass the tools to connect with them (since they’d probably rather bond over a shared love of Dick Cavett’s blog than an unhealthy obsession with The Hills).

Jake says: Dictionary.com calls networking a “a supportive system of sharing information and services among individuals and groups having a common interest.” Sounds like the Big Brother house to me. Contestants on these shows have to share knowledge and resources skillfully, and they must be supportive of their peers, or they won’t survive.

LOLDebates, guys. I remember the first time I formed a newspaper alliance. No I don’t. Because there is no such thing as forming an alliance using a newspaper. I’m pretty sure what they’re talking about here is how forming a network of professional contacts can be useful, and I’ll begrudgingly allow Alex to make the metaphorical leap to reality TV “alliances” to make his point. Because, sure, finding common ground with people in your industry in order to achieve mutually beneficial goals in the workplace is pretty much equivalent to horrible people back-stabbing each other to stay in Elimination Mansion. But when poor Nadira has to steal this already weak metaphor and bring it over to the newspaper side of the argument it tells me that someone needs to go back to Argue School.