So yesterday I was talking about the MTV Movie Awards and how they are ridiculous. As a network, MTV has already delegitimized itself as any kind of arbiter of taste or cultural importance. And as a collection of films up for accolades, the nominees are mostly laughable. Sure, Superbad was funny enough (not the best film of all time, btw) and is up for some awards. Actually, it’s up for the most awards, with Enchanted pulling in a distant second. Not that anyone ever said MTV was founded on a principle of meritocracy.

Now, today, I am asking your help. Please help me completely bankrupt this sham festival to mediocrity. Since users are allowed to vote for the winners, let’s flood the polls with our egregiously bad choices. After the jump, I’ve selected who I believe should be the winner in each category in order to fully display the shamelessness of MTV’s marketing agenda hidden as awards ceremony, along with links that will take you to the voting page. Let’s bury these clowns in their own aesthetically offensive circus popcorn.

I checked it out ahead of time, and voting is really easy. VOTE OR DIE.

Best Comedic Performance
Adam Sandler in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Best Female Performance
Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Best Fight
Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan vs. Sun Ming Ming in Rush Hour 3

Best Kiss
Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey in Enchanted

Best Male Performance
Shia LaBeouf in Transformers

Best Movie
National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Best Summer Movie So Far
Speed Racer

Best Villain
Topher Grace in Spider-Man 2

Breakthrough Performance
Chris Brown in This Christmas