If I were to ask you if you thought that Spencer Pratt hung out all the time in a coffee shop called Karma Coffehouse, that was completely empty, just sitting on a couch drinking a bottled water and texting on his blackberry, and that his sister Stephanie, with whom he currently lives, just happened to walk in and find him by total coincidence, and then the first thing out of her mouth was about how she was going to go to Lauren Conrad’s birthday party knowing that her brother despises Lauren, would you believe it?

Me neither. It’s also the quietest coffee shop I’ve ever seen. There’s no music, there’s no background chatter, there’s no clinking of scone plates or hissing of espresso machines. Mainly that’s because THIS NEVER HAPPENED.