The Challenge: To create a video blog, or vlog, using a set of ground rules established by Lindsay.
The Result: Gabe leaves and returns to LiveJournal, where he can be with people who have similar interests.

Is there anything more embarrassing to humanity than the trend of vlogging? When the A.I. liquid mercury aliens take over our ice planet and discover evidence of our vlogging, they will not even save the humanoid robot, even though they know he’s just a machine. He will bear too much of a resemblance to the vlogging race that was decimated (thankfully) by the Emmerich Event of 2011.

So, I was less than pleased with Lindsay’s challenge that I create a vlog. I would have thought that the eye cyst she developed after watching all four Saw movies in a row would have convinced her that she better leave me the fuck alone. NO SUCH LUCK. Instead, she wrote a list of rules:

1. Gabe cannot pre-write anything or use notes
2. The vlog must include stupid dissolves and wipes and transitions
3. The vlog must include ten seconds of staring
4. Gabe has to talk about politics
5. The vlog must feature stuffed animals
6. Gabe has to start a fight with another vlogger
7. Gabe has to tell a go-nowhere anecdote about a thing that happened to me that no one cares about
8. The vlog must feature lip synching
9. Gabe has to address the haters

10. Gabe has to kill Lindsay.

Fine, Muffinhead. I accept your challenge.

The scariest thing about this challenge was the fear that somehow I would really like it and start vlogging all the time. Luckily for me (you), no. Nope. Sorry vloggers, you’re alone on this one. And every one.

Comments (25)
  1. MonsterfaceMurderer  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008 +8

    I love this so much. Also, I like the word muffin more.

  2. pertty funny…seriously.

  3. Mary Mouse  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008 +5

    Tee hee, the challenges get better and better every week. Also, PS, Gabe, Julia Allison is not going to ask you to be in her next lipdub.

  4. the plot against people  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008 +26

    Didn’t care for all the talking, but, girl, you can sing.

  5. So when do we get to see the deleted footage from the muffin story? I NEED TO KNOW MORE.

  6. Mary Mouse  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008 +4

    Also, what is up with your windows? Do you live in the attic of a disused church?

  7. I can’t say I’ve ever really watched a vlog, but I imagine they would be like this. “When you wrestle with the devil you’re gonna get wet with fire” is one of my new favorite things.

  8. I want muffins for president.

    Also, in honor of the stuffed Taco Bell dog, yo quiero more vlogging from Gabe.

  9. Amanda  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008 +2

    When you wrestle with the devil you?re going to get wet with fire. Brilliant!

  10. You ruined videoblogging for me. Now what do I do?

  11. great pseudo-bad editing.

    this was pretty brilliant in it’s deliberate awfulness…. yet so accurate in reflecting the current state of VLAGs.

  12. teapot  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008 +10

    I think I’m in love. I wanna be wet with Fire.

  13. Heather from Reno  |   Posted on May 2nd, 2008 0

    Has anyone ever told you that you look like Eric Bana?

  14. f you gabe. YOU are shit….too.

  15. nic  |   Posted on May 9th, 2008 +1

    And you started a fight with sexman. (!?) ha ha ha ha but you didn’t actually see the jumper review…ha ha ha…vlogging…who does that?!

  16. Youtube’s “related videos” links show almost nothing but children’s/teenager’s vlogs with your video. Most notable is Pruane2Forever who shows up in the list the most and may or may not be a genius/idiot. Basically YoutTube has put you in the pimply 14 year old nerd-boy category for doing this.

  17. fenrox  |   Posted on May 29th, 2008 +1

    The thing i like best about this vlog is seeing what it would be like if greg gave me a blowjob. DSL baby. A+

  18. mandy  |   Posted on Jun 25th, 2008 0

    it’s a shame all these videos have gone missing.

  19. i see this wrestling is some kind of Santa Barbara! how long will it last?

  20. lovemecancerously  |   Posted on Jan 2nd, 2009 +1

    Those steps above are a recipe for success! So funny. It seems wrong to only make just one, no?

  21. Damn it. Now I have this stupid Vlog crush on someone I don’t even know! damn, damn, damn. My new years resolutions are going downhill fast!

  22. I know I’m way late on the comment train, but I think I may want to ask you to prom. Er something.

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