The New York Times spent a night out with Neil Patrick Harris this weekend where, in a slightly weird write-up (in what world is Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle a “dark comedy”?), they seemed to go a little overboard trying to distance the “NPH” he plays in the Harold and Kumar franchise from the real Neil, who likes Disneyland, Scooby Doo, and performing adorable magic tricks for reporters:

To distinguish between Mr. Harris’s authentic and fictional selves, Ms. Medlin pointed out that in real life Mr. Harris has never snorted cocaine off a woman’s behind. “Not this year!” chimed Mr. Harris and Ms. Baeling, in unison. Ba-dum-bum!

(Ba-dum-bum, because he’s gay, get it?) No word on NPH’s feelings about recent news that Britney Spears will be returning to How I Met Your Mother, which might annoy the slightly hypocritical (but we love him) critic of “stunt-casting.”