To quote Tina Fey as Liz Lemon: “You can’t be gay for just one person! Unless you’re a lady and you meet Ellen.”

Yesterday’s Times Style section profiled personal trainer Jackie Warner, one of the stars of the Bravo show Work Out, which comes back tomorrow night (after The Real Housewives finale) for a third season. The article has an unusual thesis: Jackie Warner’s lesbian lifestyle is making housewives across America consider switching teams:

“I have women that send me photos of themselves with their husbands and three teenage boys or whatever — I’m just giving you an example — with a love letter attached.”

From this preview, it seems the Times characterization of Jackie as a “player” isn’t incorrect (she makes out with strangers in bathrooms “like a drunk 16 year old.”)

But watching people argue in an aerobics class doesn’t really do it for me:

Unless I’m missing something, my straight girl crush is still on Ellen (Page.)