Man, Taylor Swift is such a robot, huh? She has a serious case of animatronic-face, and the “normal” switch has been set to “dead eyes” and snapped clean off. I mean, to be fair, she is a tiny, baby child. I couldn’t have hosted Saturday Night Live at her age. But she can’t host Saturday Night Live at her age either! It’s one thing to read your lines off the cue cards, it’s another thing entirely to sound them out as if you’ve never heard human speech before. She really was/is just very bad.
The Twilight parody (after the jump) was not very bad, though. It was very good.
“I know what you are, you’re dark green and ice cold.”
“Frankenstein ice cream cake!”
I wish. I also enjoyed this blessedly Taylor Swift’s Inhumanly Evil Eyes-free ad for Carter n’ Son’s barbecue.
Although probably my favorite line of the whole night was in the Gossip Talk sketch, or whatever that thing was called, when they were doing a fake throw to the next segment and enticed viewers with “Next up, Mario Lopez is going to tell us how to get his abs…on your dog.” Haha.
Goodbye, Taylor Swift, time for you to crawl back into your Bad Batz Maru coffin and recharge your “human-empathy” battery (holds up to three minutes of “normal human emotion” after every 96-hour charge!).