To promote their upcoming special “Stonehenge Decoded,” National Geographic conducted an interview with Nigel Tufnel? Christopher Guest’s character from Spinal Tap? Wait, whuuuuuut?

This is great. I’m pretty sure I’m still not going to be watching the special. You know why? Because I don’t care about Stone Henge. CALL ME CRAZY! Stone Henge. What a boring mystery. Stone Henge is what Lost would be if it was real life and didn’t have the benefit of hiding its loose ends in action-packed drama.

Real Life Locke: We have to move Stone Henge.
Real Life Jack: Why?
Real Life Locke: What?
Real Life Jack: I said, why?
Real Life Sawyer: Who wants a funny nickname?
Real Life Locke: Wait, what did I say?
Real Life Jack: You said we have to move Stone Henge.
Real Life Locke: Oh whoops. Ha ha ha. I meant to say “Who cares about Stone Henge.”
Real Life Jack: Seriously, let’s go get something to eat at the gift shop.
Real Life Kate: I’ll kiss everyone.