Well, David Cook won American Idol last night, just as Simon said he would last week, so he will probably be too busy for the County Fair tour of Plain White Tees Nuts this summer. A record 95 million votes were cast, and Cook won by 12 percent. That’s a ton of percent. He should probably run for President. Uh oh, I just realized at some point someone from American Idol will probably run for President. A bleak future, indeed.

But what of the child Archuleta? He would have been the youngest Idol ever, and although Cook had been a fan favorite all season, Archuleta destroyed him on Tuesday in their final head-to-head. Surely, with that much talent and good will behind him, he will enjoy a classic Idol runner-up success story, like Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, or Justin Guarini.

Or maybe not. I was puttering around the internet this morning and discovered that Archuleta has already signed on to a lucrative sponsorship deal as the face of a new web venture, but I’m not sure how well it will help his singing career.

Yikes, David Darko.