The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (which is such an important sounding name for such an incredibly unimportant group of people) has finally announced the host for this year’s Academy Awards: Steve Martin. And also Alec Baldwin! TWO HOSTS! It is just like R. Kelly said:

“16 years, nothin’ but hits, and they still don’t believe. S’only one thing to do, and that is Double Up.”

The two dudes have already released their first statements regarding the announcement, and the statements are funny? It’s weird. This stuff is supposed to be boring and tepid and overwrought. I need an adult! From People:

The search is over – and the Oscars are counting on two wild and crazy guys to host the 82nd Academy Awards.

Let the banter begin: “I am happy to co-host the Oscars with my enemy Alec Baldwin,” says Steve Martin, who will share the stage with the 30 Rock actor.

“I don’t play the banjo but I’m thrilled to be hosting the Oscars – it’s the opportunity of a lifetime,” says Baldwin.

Nice wordplay, People. These two wild and crazy guys are going to be the Jerks who take this year’s Oscars to The Edge. What one man can do, two men can do!

Good news, though? Good news. They probably won’t even pee their pants once between the two of them.

Comments (33)
  1. Videogum Pizza Party please!

  2. Let the banter begin indeed.

  3. Now Baldwin will have a whole room of rude little pigs to yell at.

  4. First prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you host the Oscars.

  5. Also, do these jokes by People magazine even work? It would be one thing if Martin and Dan Ackroyd were hosting the show together, then the “wild and crazy guys” joke would at least make sense.

    Also, nice Edge reference.

  6. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  7. I’ve been waiting
    for the
    return of hugh
    jackman piss

  8. Please don’t let Steve Martin play the banjo. Please don’t let Steve Martin play the banjo.

  9. In other news, Billy Crystal just fired his agent.

  10. I thought Steve Martin was, in all honesty, the best Oscars host in a long long time. I was surprised he didn’t go more love. I’m happy to hear this news.

    • In 2001, he delivered one of my favorite Oscar jokes of all time. Lamenting violence in movies he said, “I took a 9-year-old to see Gladiator and he cried the whole time. Though that may have been because he didn’t know who I was.” Hooray, pedophilia jokes on Hollywood’s biggest night!

      • My personal favorite comes from when he hosted after Billy Crystal hosted for a few years straight.
        “Tonight, Billy Crystal is doing what I’m usually doing during the Oscars: having sex with Billy Crystal’s wife.”

  11. I know I’ve seen Alec Baldwin play the banjo.

  12. All I can think is 1) Will it be Alec Baldwin or Jack Donaghy hosting, and 2) Steve Martin seriously looks like my mom.

  13. The Oscars is pretty much the only time you can watch Steve Martin be funny anymore.

  14. Ahh I can’t do snark when I first wake up.This actually makes me very happy. I love them both.

  15. The Oscars are on my birthday this year. So I probably won’t be watching. Or I will, but then only as background noise while I’m tying the rope to hang myself.

    Anyways, this is suitable!

    • I wanted to downvote this so as to say “hey don’t hang yourself, we like you! Let’s hug it out!” even though I know it’s in jest, just for a little affirmation, but then I didn’t want to do it and you take that as “oh no someone has invalidated my existence by downvoting me, I guess maybe I really should hang myself” since I know you put so much stock into what strangers think (I do not know this). This is a Dilemma (f/ Kelly Rowland).

      • Ha ha hahaha! Thanks for trying to reaffirm my life.

        But if I’m sitting at home alone in my parent’s house where I live because I don’t have a job on my 30th (*cough*what? NO, I’m 25!*cough) birthday watching The Oscars, then can I hang myself?

  16. So they’re picking Oscar hosts based on how many times you’ve hosted SNL? Then I look forward to the 2011 Oscars hosted by Tom Hanks and Elliot Gould!

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