Dear Diary,
It’s our first day in New York City! Mommy and Daddy took me and Charlie to the Today Show so we could hold up our sign wishing Grandmommy a happy birthday. We wanted to show our sign to Al Roker but Mommy says that he didn’t have time but that Grandmommy knows we love her. Then, a lady with a clipboard told everybody to move around this big stage that they had set up because somebody named “Fergie” was going to sing songs to us. One song she sang was called “Barracuda” and I though it would be a cool song because Barracudas are a cool fish. But it wasn’t. I think there’s something wrong with “Fergie.” I think she’s sick.

First Fergie jumped around a lot, and then she sang really close to the guitar player for some reason. Then Charlie and I realized that she was crawling up to us and we were kind of scared. Fergie layed down on the ground right in front of us and rolled around like a baby. Fergie made strange noises like she had a really high fever. Maybe she didn’t feel good because her clothes were too tight.

Then she did some cartwheels. That was cool. But at the end of the song she did something where she shook her bottom really fast. I don’t know why. After the show, Mommy and Daddy had a fight because Mommy wanted to say something to the lady with the clipboard and Daddy wanted to put the whole thing behind us and have a good vacation because he works hard. She wanted to tell the lady with the clipboard that me and Charlie were “scarred for life.” I don’t know what that means, but I hope we can still go to the American Girl Cafe this afternoon.
More later, my sweet diary!
Your Friend,
Emily

Comments (5)
  1. That’s funny, I remember this song not sucking.

  2. david  |   Posted on May 20th, 2008 0

    oh my god…i was wondering why this was written in the perspective of a little kid, and then at 2:52 ALL BECAME CLEAR….scared, confused kiddies…man.

  3. eric  |   Posted on May 21st, 2008 +1

    maybe she wasn’t feeling too great because that leather is clinging tighter to her thighs then it did to the cow.
    or maybe because she realized she looks like sebastian bach.

  4. eric  |   Posted on May 21st, 2008 0

    and what’s with injecting lines from “welcome to the jungle”?
    ahahahahahaha.

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