Photos
I’m sure that I’m not alone in thoroughly disliking Spike from this season’s Top Chef. From his inexplicable cockiness around far more talented chefs (Andrew, Dale, and of course, The Blaise), to his clearly pre-meditated decision to be “the hat guy,” he’s the worst. But last night he became The Worst. After winning the Quickfire Challenge with his steak salad that he claimed “would make people want to have sex after they eat this steak salad” he was given the advantage for the Elimination Challenge of having 10 extra minutes to shop, and whatever he chose would be off-limits to the other contestants. But instead of having confidence in his own ability, he picked things just to be a saboteur.
This man must be thrown under a bus. I know the public transportation system in Chicago is not the world’s finest, but surely there must be a bus somewhere. Or the Ravenswood line. Look, I’m all for healthy competition and using your advantage to succeed, but I also believe in the warrior’s code, and this unshaven clown is unfit to enter the ring. If Top Chef was Highlander, Spike would be standing there with his sword in the underground parking lot, and Christopher Lambert would be like “you know what, it turns out there can be two Highlanders, because no one wants to absorb your power.”
Highlander reference, guys. We’re doing great.
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 Top Chef S09E13: Welcome Back, Beverly |  This Week In GIFs! |  Here Are Some Afternoon Links! |  Top Chef S09E12: Pee Wee’s BUGH Adventure |
Is he joking? Making a lunch box with no “Bread, ‘salad’ [lettuce], tomatoes, or chicken” isn’t even handicapping people who have any idea how to cook. Oh no, the molecular gastronomist can’t make a sandwich! Somehow I think he’ll get by.
Kinda reminds me of how Barack Obama sabotaged the Democratic race with his sneaky bullshit caucus victories in hopelessly red states, his sneaky/bad faith race-baiting of the Clintons, and his sneaky backroom stomping on MI and FL revotes. Why is it okay when Barack does it, but not when Spike does it?
I’m just sad that now Andrew’s gone there will be 90% less f-bombs, slack to be picked up by Dale. Also, next to no exciting soundbites, except Blaise talking about his progeny (let’s go make some little blaises).
He’s an Ashton Kutcher-esque douche bag, that’s for sure. Still, I’d f*ck him.
Spike is definitely a tool. Granted, Dale is a little crazy, he’s a MUCH better chef! I can’t wait until his lack of talent/douchebaggery catches up to him. I can’t believe Dale didn’t try fuck him up when he called him a little bitch last week. I’d have knocked that fucker out with a quickness……
Agreed, he needs his head cut off. Oddly enough, he is friends with Richard (the awesomest one); they hang out together at the Redhead on 13th and 1st all the time.
I miss Andrew who said things like “that gave me a culinary boner.”
That b.s. little bit of fine print at the end of every reality competition that basically says “If the producers decide there’s a character that is a total dick and not that good but he will up our ratings, he’s staying” is the reason Spike still exists.