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Today marks the one week anniversary of Falcon Heene entering into our lives and our hearts and very quickly exiting our hearts. We hate that guy! Not really, though. Who we hate is Richard Heene. What a bad dad. He was always a bad dad, one assumes, but up until a week ago he was a Secret Bad Dad. Going to court for domestic violence and assault, making his weird Box Talk basement pilots, encouraging his children to make terrible and homophobic rap videos they’re not even old enough to understand, putting them in a truck and driving them into a tornado. Wife Swap. And now this nightmare stunt all to get a reality show? Who do you think you are, Improv Everywhere?

It is funny how Richard Heene was an avid storm chaser and now he has found himself in a MEDIA STORM! (Sorry.) But seriously, what a week, huh Heenes? Your family is basically ruined, you know. That’s sad. Although it’s probably for the best. You guys were too nuts! Nuts always finds its level. Level = jail. Nuts always finds its jail. I’m saying: go to jail. You’re driving us all crazy.

10.15.09
in memorium

Comments (19)
  1. Gabe. stop calling him “bubble” boy. He was in (he wasn’t in) a “balloon”.

  2. THATS AN EAGLE NOT A FALCON

    • Well, I guess one over the top, historically inaccurate tribute to an imagined highly controversial mostly made up very sad tragedy deserves another…

  3. It’s over? Did they get their show?

  4. I’m with him. I’m sick of seeing Bald Eagles getting all of the attention. Given the kid’s name, this is a great opportunity to promote the mysterious Falcon–a bird that has been misunderstood and under appreciated for too long.

  5. Maybe the Heenes will get their one true wish and get a reality series on Court TV. Or C-Span, where Congress will outlaw them.

  6. I hereby announce the commencement of the 10/16 Project.

  7. I tell you, Richard Heene might be the best thing to ever happen to Hallmark.

  8. The latest bit of crazy from this already crazy story is that Richard Heene was all scared for 2012 being the end of the world and so he acted in the most rational way possible: he created a hoax in order to get a reality show and use the money from said show to build an anti-apocalypse bunker.

    It’s like, wow, entitled much? I’d like an anti-apocalypse bunker too, but you don’t see me creating balloon hoaxes and media shitstorms over here.

  9. I first saw this and read “Buble Boy,” and thought, “There’s a lost kid with something to do with Michael Buble?”

  10. I’d like to give a shout out to the sheriff who went on tv to say they didn’t have evidence or grounds to charge the family on anything but a misdemeanor, but that they are looking for more.

    There’s a sign that the man watches all Law & Order shows but forgot that they usually don’t plot how to entrap the suspects in front of them, except for a couple of SVU episodes.

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