Vic Mizzy is not even in the ground yet, so he will have to save up those grave rolls, but Richard Heene commissioned theme songs for his reality TV show ideas!!! They are hilarious and awful. He even plays bass on them? What an American Treasure that guy has turned out to be (not be).

Comments (26)
  1. I would laugh if I didn’t think that his kids are going to grow up to be kidney-stabbing psychos.

  2. “Tune into the show, that’s really effective /
    Watch Richard Heene — Science Detective!”

    Woof. Oh man, the second one’s worse. They need to pay a little more to get Falcon some better writing classes.

    • to be fair, there is probably an extra comma in the first line of that MANIPULATIVE FAME-OBSESSED LYING DOUCHEBAG’S song.

  3. When you want to fool the nation into watching a balloon,
    For publicity or giggles or to pass the afternoon,
    Exploit your little boy and then pretend to be so sad,
    Watch Richard Heene — he’s a nightmare of a dad!

    • I think that Hallmark should get on the “Thanks for not being Richard Heene” card for next father’s day. I would by eighteen. Because I am that thankful that my dad is not Richard Heene.

  4. Nothing says psyientific like heavy flanging

  5. These are your theme songs.

  6. Part of me wants to ask actual, not insane scientists what they think of the Psyience Detective, but the vast majority of me does not want to be stabbed by a broken beaker.

  7. I had to rewind the first one to make sure they said “the secrets of birth”, which is the last thing in the world I would want Richard Heene explaining to me. Also, I don’t quite believe the part about “if you have a job to do, the tougher it is, the better he will do” in the second one.

  8. Sorry Richard Heene, there already is a science detective and his name is Bill Nye, the science guy.

  9. Richard Heene: You Will Never Be Able to Fill the Void Left by the Retirement of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Science Rules, not Psyence, You Wild, Wild Jackass.

  10. Thank god this guy didn’t have a job or anything. I’d feel sorry for his coworkers every day when he came up to them and said, “Hey, we did another pass on the Psyence Detective theme song. Come listen to it.”

    Suicide’s your only option then.

  11. You crazy for these two, Larimer County Authorities.

  12. Richard Heene’s To-Do list for today:
    1. Record theme song for “Richard Heene: Jail Psyence Detective Guy”
    2. Meet with Larimer County Sheriff about our new show, “Richard Heene: Jail Psyence Detective Guy”
    3. Tell Falcon the answer is YES if Playgirl calls again
    4, Live the dream

  13. Jason “Spaceman” Pierce should be pissed…dude totally ripping off his style

  14. RW  |   Posted on Oct 20th, 2009 0

    New verse for the theme song:

    Ask the guy who’s brain is defective;
    Richard Heene – Science Detective.

  15. “Put one of my girls in a balloon right now fake assistant! That could have been me with my own kick ass theme song!” – Kim “Tardy for the Party” Zolciak

  16. Which is it Gabe? To be or not to be?

    Ugh, sorry. Had to say it.

  17. Hey guys, it’s Frank Lloyd Wrong from the future. This year’s Super Bowl, bet on the Saints. Drew Brees will complete32 of 39 passes for 288 yards, 2 TDs and 0 INTs to lead the Saints to a 31-17 victory.

    The wormhole is closing. You won’t be sorr….

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