You probably already read about this over the weekend, but the authorities are pressing charges against Falcon Heene’s parents! They planned the hoax two weeks in advance! The perfect crime!
“And Mr. Heene is really… (rips mask off)… OLD MAN WITHERS!!?!”
And he would have gotten away with it (making his kid hide in a box in the attic while he went on tv), too, if it weren’t for those meddling (six year old) kids (blabbing during a cable news interview before barfing in a tupperware)!
I can’t wait to hear what they’re going to say about this on The View. (Seriously, someone find me a job please.)
Do you want to be on a reality TV show? This might be a good opportunity for you – off the top of my head: Do you have any small kids? A bunch of cellophane and helium? If so, you’re almost guaranteed a TV show. The other *small* possibility is jail time BUT SERIOUSLY, what could go wrong?
The only reality show I’d be on is Real World/Road Rules Challenge; have you seen how much alcohol and also sex those people get? I already have the lack of dignity part down since I admitted to watching The View. (You guys thought I was kidding. Shit just got real.)
Something about it not being a hoax-hoax I’m sure.
The Larimer County police should all be fired for taking three whole days to reach such an obvious conclusion.
“Mr. Heene, who fashioned himself a scientist and television star”
I would love to have the confidence just to make stuff up about myself and have the career of my dreams.
“David Crewe, who fashioned himself a police robot and international piggyback champion”
Dreams can come true, Gabrielle. They really can.
Well, he’s got a high school education and he took his kids to see tornadoes up close so they could learn about “science”… so I guess he’s kind of a “scientist” (in the same way that Kanye West is a “musician”).
“According to former colleagues, the parents met while enrolled at an acting school in Los Angeles.”
Your buddy icon is eerily appropriate to this story.
On his MySpace page, under the heading ?Who I?d like to meet,? Mr. Heene said he wanted to interview ?real aliens from outer space.?
Well Daddy Heene, thats adorable.
As opposed to immigrants, legal or otherwise? I’m glad he specified.
I just want to reiterate that Oct. 15 (ma birfday), was a really bad day to take the day off [from the internet] and do real life things [I don't know what those are either] because that was ONE HELL of a day to miss the news cycle. I came back, read Videogum and was just all “HUUUUH? WUUUUUUUT?” for about a day. Oh, Colorado. I miss you.
“balloon boy” is going to be halloween 2009′s “pregnant bristol palin.” lazy ironic people YOU’RE WELCOME.
“In 2001 he produced an instructional video about turning cardboard boxes into forts for children.” It’s a shame this video hadn’t been made twenty years ago. Things could have been so different.
You know what’s not hilarious? Falcon Heene’s brothers will probably blame him for their parents’ incarceration, and he’ll eventually blame himself for this whole mess.
THANK GOD FOR BUBBLE BOY!!! HE’S WIPED OUT THE GOSSELIN’S FOR A COUPLE DAYS. But Jon is probably scheming…..it’s been a few days without headlines.
Don’t you mean take credit ?
Did anyone notice Gabe called him “Bubble Boy”? It’s Balloon Boy, a-duh!!!!
I still think this is an elaborate viral promotion for Where The Wild Things Are. Come on people, structurally they’re exactly the same!
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