Posted on May 6th, 2008 by Gabe 3 Comments

I’m still waiting to figure out if the teen-vampire phenomenon represents a collective fear of AIDS or a collective fear of Mexicans. And this teaser trailer is not providing very many answers:

OK, I guess I get it. Teenage girls are obsessed with vampires because they provide a psychological release for dealing with our collective fear of hydroplaning mini-vans. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. Duh. Also, that guy is a keeper, right ladies? There’s nothing like a guy whose response to “I’m not scared of you” is a creepy smile and a shoulder-dislocating arm-drag into supersonic flight. What is that? He couldn’t be like “I’m glad, let’s go fly around the forest together”? He had to be like, “You just don’t know me well enough to be scared of me. You will.” What do we think of this movie? It kind of just looks like The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants With Goths.

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Comments (3)
  1. Jocelyn  |   Posted on May 6th, 2008

    ahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
    sorry but i had to laugh.
    this article is hilarious.
    i myself am a HUGE twilight fan. i think any fan can do nothing but laugh.
    The part i laughed hardest is:
    ‘ There’s nothing like a guy whose response to “I’m not scared of you” is a creepy smile and a shoulder-dislocating arm-drag into supersonic flight. What is that? He couldn’t be like “I’m glad, let’s go fly around the forest together”? He had to be like, “You just don’t know me well enough to be scared of me. You will.”‘
    Keep in mind this is only a teaser and not even a fraction of the movie. Although i think nothing will compare to the book, i think this movie is going to be very well done.

    Reply
  2. Jocelyn  |   Posted on May 6th, 2008

    ahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
    sorry but i had to laugh.
    this article is hilarious.
    i myself am a HUGE twilight fan. i think any fan can do nothing but laugh.
    The part i laughed hardest is:
    ‘ There’s nothing like a guy whose response to “I’m not scared of you” is a creepy smile and a shoulder-dislocating arm-drag into supersonic flight. What is that? He couldn’t be like “I’m glad, let’s go fly around the forest together”? He had to be like, “You just don’t know me well enough to be scared of me. You will.”‘
    Keep in mind this is only a teaser and not even a fraction of the movie. Although i think nothing will compare to the book, i think this movie is going to be very well done.

    Reply
  3. Becca the Promo Mami  |   Posted on May 8th, 2008

    Thousands of teen girls worldwide have just shat themselves.

    Reply

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