Um, pretty fast. I mean, like, normal fast? I can swim … I guess I don’t really understand the question. I’ve never used a stopwatch or anything, but I definitely think of myself as an OK swimmer, if that’s what you mean. I wasn’t on a swim team. People who were on swim teams I’m sure can swim faster than me, but then you figure professional swimmers can swim faster than people who were on swim teams, you know? Everything’s relative. There’s always someone faster than you I guess. What’s that? Oh, can I swim fast enough through a shallow, overgrown swamp to escape the rotting jaws of a prehistoric sized alligator. No. Nope. No, I can’t swim that fast. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

Comments (7)
  1. studly roberts  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2008 +1

    I hope this movie has more crocodiles than Wolf Creek had wolves. And more Paul Hogan references.

  2. oh.  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2008 0

    Good to see the Lake Placid alligator is still getting work. There aren’t a lot of meaty roles for ‘gators over 10. Especially if they haven’t had plastic surgery. Particularly fake boobs. Whatever all that means.

  3. A perfect answer to a ridiculous movie poster.

  4. Chris Davis  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2008 0

    Great post. I love that it is tagged “Anaconda”

  5. Katie  |   Posted on Apr 17th, 2008 0

    I thought this movie already came out. Has it not? The only reason I would see it is because of Michael Vartan, but it’s highly likely that even he couldn’t convince me it’s worth a $10 ticket.

  6. indieguy322  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2008 0

    Oh man, they’re making another giant alligator movie? I watched Lake Placid, and then Primeval, and then the only thing I could think about was more giant alligators. I can’t get enough. Nothing scarier or more engaging than giant alligator movies. We’ll have to give them their own section of the video store.

  7. heronimous  |   Posted on Feb 11th, 2009 0

    it’s a fucking crocodile..!! it’s not a fucking gator.. teh ignorance.. sigh

    also.. rotting jaws? it’s jaws are literally rotting? guess there aren’t too many dentists in the mangroves eh?

    ps – apart from that no complaints

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