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The state-sponsored lottery system is basically a nightmare. It’s subsidized gambling that preys on the socio-economically disadvantaged (who often don’t even have the proper money-management skills to deal with the fortune if they do win, and there are countless stories of lives ruined and families torn apart by the fantasy windfalls), and fuels the destructive impulses of gambling addicts. The revenue that it “gives back to the community” for things like education is often a meager fraction of the money being made, and much of it is often diverted to other state needs, while still leaving people with the false impression that schools are adequately funded by the multi-million dollar lotteries. Not to mention the morally bankrupt idea of paying for education with the exploitation of vice and greed in the first place. And not to mention the morally questionable message of the lottery: that winning millions of dollars without any effort, talent, or investment is a worthwhile and highly desirable goal.

But the lottery is also, apparently, CRAZY ADORABLE!

AWWWW! I think my children will understand when I cannot afford to send them to college that THOSE PIGS SLEEPING ON THE BEDS ARE IRRESISTIBLY CUTE! (Thanks for the tip, Darci.)

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Comments (25)
  1. “I’ve got a 50-50 shot of winning the lottery: either I win or I don’t. Besides cute animals sleeping in jammies!”
    –My mom

  2. If I win the lottery, I am going to pay for all those little animals in jammies to live somewhere that isn’t a sketchy motel with structural problems!

  3. I won’t play ever again on the principle that they ruined that puppies adorable, adorable slumber.

  4. Aww… you shouldn’t wake up sleeping animals though!

  5. Last time they had a pro-casino measure where I live, they said the profits from the casinos would go to help gambling addicts. It’s ironical.

  6. All I can hear when I watch this is Robert Ben Garant screaming about how cute his grandson is.

  7. woozefa  |   Posted on Sep 22nd, 2009 +8

    when i win, i’m buying a llama. also this website. gabe will henceforth be known as ‘internet overlord.’ moreso than now. oh, and a whole bunch of intelligent monkeys to write the novel i’m too lazy to write myself. but those little fuckers won’t get the royalty checks.

  8. Well, you can argue that there will always be a demand for gambling and that state-sponsored lottos and casinos are better than the alternatives – private industry or organized crime. At the same time, the state’s active promotion of…OMG LOOK AT THE PUPPY’S LITTLE PILLOW UNDER HIS PAW!

    Yep, our generation is ready to solve difficult policy issues, no problem.

  9. And not to mention the morally questionable message of the lottery: that winning millions of dollars without any effort, talent, or investment is a worthwhile and highly desirable goal.
    Isn’t that the basis of most reality competitions?

  10. we can’t all be genuinely talented people who work hard to excel in competative fields, gabe. some of us are quitters and losers and how are we ever going to get our vaginal rejuvenation and asshole bleaching paid for on the measly bits we get from welfare? we have to dream big! and not understand the laws of probability!

    afk to correspond with an nigerian with a very intriguing business proposition for me. later, loserz. i about to get totally rich.

  11. Ashley  |   Posted on Sep 22nd, 2009 +1

    Mark Mothersbaugh?

  12. The irony is hilarious, Gabe. You are using the same arguments the Bible thumpers in my home state of Alabama used to defeat the lottery. Haha!! Not that you don’t make good points. That is a very persuasive argument.

    However, not every lottery is equal. In Georgia they actually did put most of the money toward education. If you can keep a 3.0 and are a GA resident you are exempt from tuition. Even in the first year of implentation students were getting help. My girlfriend at the time was able to return her student loans in her first year when the lottery paid half her tuition. As to elementary through high school I don’t know if any money goes there or not.

    Your moral arguments still hold but at least one lottery has turned out to do what it was supposed to. Anyway, well done for make a principled argument that isn’t a knee-jerk lefty pose. (That is not sarcasm I promise)

    • since we’ve basically turned this into debateteamgum today (myself included) does this mean we’re all virgins (myself included?)

  13. I prefer gambling on sports. That way my inevitable never ending losing streak is not solely due to chance, but also to an enormous lack of good judgement on my part.

  14. Is this a thing? Someone’s got some splainin to do…

  15. Was that lil piggie wearing a lil Spider-Man shirt? It looked like a lil Spider-Man shirt. If so, SPIDER-HAM!!

  16. My dad always said that the Lottery is Stupid Tax. This commercial supports that statement.

  17. ashleigh  |   Posted on Sep 22nd, 2009 -1

    i read a lot but i have never felt the urge to comment. whereas i am blissfully ignorant of other state lottery systems, here in new mexico the lottery pays for all students who graduate from a new mexico high school with above a 2.5 to go to school. this is a full tuition scholarship, it’s only conditional on maintaining a 2.5. i pay approximately $25.00 a semester for my college education. you may not see the benefit in this, but as a recipient of this scholarship i can tell you it is an amazing social program. it gives thousands of new mexicans, who wouldn’t be able to afford higher education otherwise, the chance to attend college. in a state as poor as ours the lottery provides us with opportunity. i understand your criticism but i think it’s a great thing (at least it is here).

  18. ashleigh  |   Posted on Sep 22nd, 2009 -1

    i read a lot but i have never felt the urge to comment. whereas i am blissfully ignorant of other state lottery systems, here in new mexico the lottery pays for all students who graduate from a new mexico high school with above a 2.5 to go to school. this is a full tuition scholarship, it’s only conditional on maintaining a 2.5. i pay approximately $25.00 a semester for my college education. you may not see the benefit in this, but as a recipient of this scholarship i can tell you it is an amazing social program. it gives thousands of new mexicans, who wouldn’t be able to afford higher education otherwise, the chance to attend college. in a state as poor as ours the lottery provides us with opportunity. i understand your criticism but i think it’s a great thing (at least it is here).

  19. if i win the lottery i’m buying us all ice cream!

  20. when I first saw this commercial on tv, my friends and I literally screamed from the pain of our heads exploding in cuteness. Then we sat and wondered what it had to do with the lottery…

  21. I was afraid they were going to kill the puppies, and tell us to enter the lottery before they murder any more adorable animals. I would’ve bought lottery tickets then. Probably.

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