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Kanye West, right you guys? Classic Kanye West. While the world will always remember the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards as the year in which the Jigsaw-headed man-baby went up on stage for no reason to trample a little girl’s victory speech for an award that no longer has any meaning (if it ever did), the memory that I will always take away from the VMAs came earlier, during the pre-show. It was when VJ Tim Kash announced that he had one pair of free tickets to the VMAs that he was going to give to a lucky pair of superfans. Now, you can imagine the scene. New York City. Outside of Radio City Music Hall. Thousands of teenagers packed into writhing throngs of adrenaline and excitement, who have traveled with or without their parents’ permission to be here without any tickets or way of getting inside. Just to be part of this! And Tim Kash casually picks out two people from the crowd. Both of whom are in their late-30s to early-60s. “Congratulations, you’re going to the VMAs,” he says to the two very-full-grown-adults, who treat the prize with the same amount of reserved excitement that adults have for, say, discovering asparagus at a reasonable price out of season. HUH? Sorry, kids, this show is not for you. WE TAKIN’ OVER! Parents seriously just don’t understand.
Anyway, check out our VMA photo gallery to relive all your most cherished memories that you’ve ever had.
P.S. That was fast.
The “highlights”:
Kanye West Doesn’t Care About White People
Beyoncé Gives Taylor Swift Her Moment
Here are the winners:
Video Of The Year: Beyoncé – “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)”
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift – “You Belong to Me”
Best Male Video: T.I. feat. Rihanna – “Live Your Life”
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears – “Womanizer”
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem – “We Made You”
Best Rock Video: Green Day – “21 Guns”
Best Video (That Should Have Won): Beastie Boys – “Sabatoge”
Breakthrough Video: Matt and Kim – “Lessons Learned”
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi” (Jason Hamilton)
Best Choreography: Beyoncé – “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” (Jaquel Knight & Frank Gatson Jr.)
Best Cinematography: Green Day – “21 Guns” (Jonathan Sela)
Best Direction: Green Day – “21 Guns” (Marc Webb)
Best Editing: Beyoncé – “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” (Jarrett Fijal)
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi” (Chimney Pot)
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What I don’t get about the whole stupid thing is how everyone is shocked by this? Like we all didn’t already know that Kanye is an asshole? This isn’t exactly CNN BREAKING NEWS, guys.
Yeah, seriously just look at his hair. He’s just plain crazy you guys.
Keith Haring (RIP) all over Kanye’s head.
My first thoughts exactly. I wonder if Kanye has any idea his head looks like it was decorated by a gay/AIDS icon. Not sure how “streets” that is.
see, i was thinking more like a “hey kanye, mel gibson called, and he wants his ‘signs’ back” joke
not to rain on your joke parade or anything but Keith Haring was more than a Gay/AIDS icon. most of his activism work was for inner city youth. Also kanye west rarely makes claims to being street. in fact, most of his early persona incorporated the fact that his parents were academics/intellectuals and his middle class status. JUST SAYING.
Can’t nobody storm an MTV Stage Like ODB, or Tim C from RATM.
“Puffy’s for the Kids, Wu-Tang’s the greatest”
Staged.
Either that or MTV doesn’t care about crazy people rushing the stage.
Kanye West doesn’t care about country music people but loves fish sticks.
Dammit you beat me to it!
Lady Gaga broke the two rules of wearing white:
1) Don’t wear after Labor Day
2)Don’t wear white when you’re on your period.
How embarrassing for her.
3) dressing like a slim jim is not evening attire, even if it is a lace slim jim.
And here I thought that was the Empire Strikes Back Wampa.
I’m speaking about
outfit. No?Gabe gets paid to watch and write about horrible shit like this. The rest of you who watched this last night…You’ve got to love yourselves first, you guys.
Gabe gets paid?
I’m beginning to suspect that John Norris and Perez Hilton are the same person.
It’s nice that Russel Brand thought to invite one of his oompa loompas, Perez Hilton. Those guys work so hard. Their almost like trolls.
*They’re* almost like trolls… 6 of one, half dozen of the other. Grammar, shmammer. And all that jazz.
But yea, I like Lady Gaga’s steampunk neck yoke. Constrictive vises are back in.
I think Madonna learned it was hard to convey emotion when your face is full of plastic. OOOH, YA BURNT!
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Probably because she’s a (seemingly) sweet & humble 19-year-old who just got a surprise win in her category, and as she was about to have her moment to shine, some asshole came on stage and took a watery shit on her moment.
Yeah, my face would be a bit melty, too.
Everybody keeps talking about this like it was her moment. I don’t get it. I mean she wrote the song, but the award wasn’t for the song. It was for the video. Did she direct the video? Did she have anything to do with the video being good. That award basically says that video you have your name attached to was awesome. What a poor girl that Kanye ruined that for her.
OK, fair enough, but Taylor had more to do with the win than Kanye. Last I checked, he wasn’t nominated for Best Female Video, or anything this year, so A) who cares what he thinks, and B) get off the fucking stage.
And, as she did when Beyonce brought her back out, she did thank those responsible for the video itself, which she would have done had Hennessy Crazyhair not done his shit.
Given Kanye is an arrogant man. But this is a victimless crime so lets stop crying these Glenn Beck tears.
Hennessy Crazyhair!!! Lots of Love!!
I am pitching my new book series “The Fabmazing Adventures of Hennessy Crazyhair.” It’s about a whimsical inventor in the late 1800s who dreams up ridiculous inventions that allow him to interrupt important moments in history to say that Beyonce made the greatest video of all time.
In Hollywood, it’s called “high concept.”
the only bit of entertainment for me was watching the lady gaga performance and my mom goes: See she doesnt have a penis!
Your mom knows what a Lady Gaga is? I tried to explain Kanye West to my mom and she was so disinterested that she interrupted me to tell a story about the cat.
Moms usually feel a little like this when talking about current celebs.
Oh and I was surprised when my g-pa knew who J-Lo was. He was even the one who brought it up!
It’s tough when plastic people compete for fake awards and don’t win. Good thing Kanye’s here to rectify a meaningless situation that didn’t develop.
And I know, I’m hella late here, but, MTV still plays music?
Way to reopen my Bonnaroo wounds, Kanye.
Everyone is burying the lede. Beyonce lost Best Female Video but won Video of the Year.
You guys, Beyonce was outed as a dude last night. Logic.
It is my hope that the Cat Stevens commercial and Beatles game will have some positive boomerang effect on the youth in terms of learing how to write songs and play etc…it has to…
I watched the Madonna’s essay on “Why MJ is like Me and We should Remember That” but that got too exhausting and when Mad Men came on…I just decided to watch it twice. This was the better choice right?
“Anything can happen on Halloween…” that’s the STUFF!
Why did Lady Gaga perform as a used tampon?
Controversy aside (actually, there is no controversy because MTV is not controversial at all), am I the only one who doesn’t find anything funny about Russell Brand, aside from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall?” Lady Gaga: I love that crazy bitch.
P.S. AMAZING TRAILER (You “Twilight” fans are a bunch of ass clowns).
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Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol….
Yeah, I hate that song too.
How sad did Taylor Swift look at the end of that first video? Aw.
Kanye West ranted so hard he broke Taylor Swift’s Macbook Air.
Forget Kanye, the worst part of the show was being subjected to Perez Hilton not once, but twice. I want to like Lady Gaga (crazy as she is), but I automatically write off anyone who willingly spends that much time with Perez.
I thought it was mildly, mildly, mildly touching when Beyonce brought out Taylor Swift but then she started thanking her followers on Twitter and her friends on MySpace, and I thought, “Deserved it.” I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M JUST REAL.
Let’s also take a minute to discuss Kanye’s “apology” blog. He might as well have said “my publicist is making me write this! (But you deserved it). You are very talented Taylor Swift! (But welcome to the REAL WORLD bitch!).”
One last thing–did anyone see Kanye guzzling down that bottle of Hennessy on the red carpet/before the show started? The Taylor thing was definitely a douche move, but I can’t hate on Kanye too much–he’s just a crazy Gemini who gets drunk and does stupid shit and if I hated on everyone like that I’d be self-loathing all over the place.
No doubt Kanye must be somewhat disillusioned by life at this point. I mean, here you’ve got a guy whose wealth inadvertently led to the death of his own mother. So on one hand I can see why he might not give a crap about any of the rules of social normalcy. But on the other hand I’m kinda like, dude, you’ve lived through some pretty terrible shit. Why do you care who won the MTV moonman?
There’s only so much terrible I can take in one night so I watched the True Blood finale and then immeadiatly shut off the television. I’m sad I missed Lady Gaga’s groundbreaking fashion though. It’s almost like she’s more well known for her shitty outfits than she is for her shitty music.
Lady Gaga is super weird blah blah and maybe she tries too hard blah blah but I’m still facinated by her. And her weird performance art BS reminds me of the stupid stuff I did in college (THAT’S RIGHT, Gabe’s not the only one!) when I was a theater minor. I remember thinking, “well this is really dumb and self-indulgent but at the very least it’s interesting to be doing something no one else has done before for the sake of artistic expression?”
Bowie did it better.
Bowie always does it better.
“but at the very least it’s interesting to be doing something no one else has done before for the sake of artistic expression?” Well, at least you asked yourself the right question even if you got the answer wrong.
I’m waiting to see the Serena “Shut up, I’m going to jam this fucking tennis ball down your throat” clip mixed with the Taylor Swift / Kanye West nightmare.
Booo to Hulu! There needs to be a solution for international viewers!
It’s called a proxy server. If you are running Firefox, download the FoxyProxy extension and follow directions. That’s how we in the states get our BBC streaming.
who’s kanye west?
I sent pretty much the whole time being terrified of Lady Gaga.
Man, I was feeling like such a square since I saw Mad Men and the final King of the Hill instead and missed the whole liveblog and everything.
But I feel better about my decision now that I see who the winners are and now that I remember that this was on MTV.
You know, for a few moments I hoped that Kanye’s trolling of the VMAs was a sign that the whole thing had hit rock-bottom and would be discontinued.
But then I remembered that the whole thing’s been at rock-bottom for at least a decade and is still going on “strong.” Then I was sad.
Yes, Kanye is a turd sandwhich but to his defense…..how can beyonce win video of the year but not best female video? i don’t get it….
It’s not exactly a scientific process when they arbitrarily give out these awards.
It’s not exactly a scientific process when they arbitrarily give out these awards.
Kanye West and Serena Williams are both racists.
Um. No?
Don’t forget Obama! I heard he wants to reinstate slavery but make white people the slaves!
Cocaine’s a helluva drug…
The nerve of Taylor Swift to then interrupt Beyonce’s moment! Two wrongs do not make a right, Taylor, as evidenced by Sean and Nathaniel of 3OH!3.
you know their names? eeeesh
Is it true that Kanye had given his awards to Outkast? What year? Which awards? I can’t find anything about it!
I always assumed the artists’ names were engraved on those things anyway, so why bother?
Sorry, I said all of the funny things I have to say about this in the other thread.
Oh my God, did Lady Gaga ever stop changing outfits?
My students were totally talking about this, and they asked me if I’d seen it. I said I hadn’t, which wasn’t a lie, but I did know about it because of the videogum twitter. Thanks for keeping me in the know, videogum. Next, do a post about these damn Jonah’s Brothers.
Kanye West is the new Tucker Max. Lady Gaga is awesome ; )
it was a night to celebrate some skeletal child molesting freak
I would rather watched Jean Velez-Mitchel go down on Nancy Grace while Larry King strokes his liver spotted wrinkly purple pickled cock than see that shit last night.
“My first thoughts exactly. I wonder if Kanye has any idea his head looks like it was decorated by a gay/AIDS icon. Not sure how “streets” that is.”
Well I wonder if you have any idea that, Kanye, is in fact, a gay fish, so…that’s how his head is suppost to be decorated. Also I really hope Kanye doesn’t show up at Patrick Swayze’s funeral and be like “Listen Patrick, you’re funeral is really great, but Michael Jackson’s death was one of the best deaths of all time!”
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/52817
UR SO FUNNNAI
I don’t watch these here VMAs (only the funny bits in youtube) so I dont know the rules, but if Beyonce wins video of the year doesn’t she automatically win best female video as well? How can she lose best video female but win best video? Does that mean her video wasn’t good enough as a female? Was her video a hermaphrodite? Is the VMA’s just totally fucked up?