IT’S FINALLY HERE! THE THING THAT WE BARELY EVEN REMEMBERED WAS STILL A THING THAT HAPPENED ANYMORE BECAUSE WHY WOULD IT, IT’S IRRELEVANT! If you are watching the MTV Video Music Awards tonight for some reason, let’s watch it together! Like a family! Yuck it up with your fellow monsters in the comments. And follow the Videogum Twitter for some up-to-the-minute lazy jokes about what dumb dumbs say on the TV.

Comments (263)
  1. I’m so excited, I can’t even watch it.

  2. I just wanted to make sure everybody knew that Lady Gaga brought Kermit the Frog as her date.

  3. Sway just asked a hypothetical VMA question, i didn’t know those were allowed to exsist.

  4. Ahh I forgot about the pre-show

    • I have a hard time believing Lady Gage is going to win everything, but then again this is MTV…

      • Could be fake. It’s already inaccurate in the Best Video That Should Have Won a Moonman category. Beastie Boys got it, not the Foo Fighters.
        EIther way, everyone at MTV should be fired.

  5. I wouldn’t want to share this with anyone other than you monsters.

  6. I was really hoping for the chat room.

  7. I suppose this only works if we actually participate, but damn do i not want to watch this.
    also, that john stuart mill treatise isn’t going to distractedly read itself!

  8. At first I was sad that I’d be missing most of the VMA video pizza party, living in Europe and needing sleep to survive and all, but after watching a bit of the preshow, I’m okay. HAVE FUN MONSTERS DON’T BREAK ANYTHING! Love, Mom.

  9. I’m amazed J Lo didn’t say my boobs got bigger.
    New J Lo album makes 13 year old me happy.

  10. As someone who has a moderate to great interest in award shows (I don’t know why).. I’m watching Mad Men instead.

  11. Don’t worry, B. You definitely won Video of the Year.

  12. Ask Leighton Meester who she’s wearing and about footjobs.

  13. Technically Leighton is a good girl gone bad.

  14. Madonna is just like Michael Jackson, so am I

  15. “Why Michael Jackson and I are Similar” by Madonna

  16. Is Pete Wentz falling asleep?

  17. He was also a human being, I am not.

  18. “The boys loved him” I thought it was the other way around?

  19. woozefa  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +4

    you churn the butter, you churn the butter, you churn the butter

  20. “Teach him how to say bad words?” What was he? A parrot?

  21. “I had a childhood.”

    Riiiiiiiiight…

  22. DopeBoyFresh  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +3

    “Look at me! Look at me!”
    -Madonna

  23. I just want to know where you can get french fries AND wine.

  24. “There’s a lot of crotch grabbing going on around my house.”

    TMI.

  25. That intro brought a level of discomfort I wasn’t expecting. And I was expecting a lot of discomfort. But! On the bright side, I now know that Michael Jackson was a king but also a man but mostly a king but still a man.

  26. Oh Jesus. Shut it down. Shut it all down.

  27. Jesus can’t save us now, he was the one that told Katy Perry to start singing in the first place. Katy Perry Christian pop artist

  28. I think that fat guys at hockey games sings We Will Rock You better.

  29. DopeBoyFresh  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +8

    So, Michael Jackson’s dead?

  30. Just making sure that everyone knows that tonight is about MICHAEL JACKSON and he was MAGICAL. Tonight. Michael Jackson. MAGIC.

    -Russell Brand

  31. It’s either the crazy hat or the ill-fitting suit, Russell. One or the other–you can’t have both. (He continues to have both.)

  32. He is also the reason that Barack Obama is president.

  33. I had to turn it off at Katy Perry. Freddie Mercury is spinning in his grave.

  34. Look at Lady Gaga.

    No joke necessary.

  35. Lady Gaga looks as gaudy as she ever has. Also, Is Russel Brand making jokes? I really can’t tell.

  36. I really wish that Russell Brand would stop yelling at me.

  37. I get what he’s saying but isn’t he in a way offending hermaphrodites?

  38. Look at Lady Gaga.

    No joke necessary.

  39. 40 minutes until Mad Men. in case you were wondering.

  40. Joe Perry and Katy Perry (no relation) together onstage AT LAST.

  41. smashing my head through the television has never been more tempting

  42. I have two and a half hours before Mad Men…

  43. Shut up, Kanye. Even though you’re correct.

  44. Wow false rumors on twitter. Who would have thunk it?

  45. Oh man I never thought I would feel bad for Taylor Swift but I do.

    • my facebook friend about Kanye: “WHAT A DOUCHEBAG. seriously.
      that’s so stupid that he cannot just keep his mouth shut.
      i love taylor. obviously, if she won, she deserved it…the ppl voted and that’s that. idc if he doesn’t think it’s right.”

      me: “THE AMERICAN PEOPLE R INFALLIBLE WHEN IT COMES 2 VOTING N 2 SANDWHICHES WITH CHICKEN AS BREAD!!! – attributed to both Warren G Harding and Rod Blagojevich”

  46. Kanye West is saying OTHER artists should have won? What a step up.

  47. Was that Kanye attempting humor and failing or attempting to get a valid point across and failing?

  48. Kanye West did something crazy! That’s all I was waiting for.

  49. Also, who the hell cares, Kanye West?

  50. OMGZZZ KANYE WHAT A HILARIOUS JOKE!!! oh wait…that wasn’t staged?

  51. Macadocious  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 0

    fantastic wolf banter

  52. And all of a sudden, our viewing party makes sense. Worth it. Thanks, Kanye.

  53. Taylor performs in nine minutes Kanye should get up there and tell who should be performing. Kanye is so wise.

  54. Macadocious  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +8

    george bush still doesn’t care about black people

  55. Now that is hilarious Maybe you should be next year’s VMA head writer Gabe.

  56. Oh man, did you see how Taylor Swift just sort of stood there, clutching her award as if she was worried Kanye was going to steal that too? I don’t even really like her but damn, that was sad.

  57. Did every one else just get their areas best break out artist? DC’s was some guy named Frank Sirius

  58. I’m watching Beatles Anthology on VH1 instead because I hate you stupid kids and you’re damn rap music. But seriously, there’s only so much Cobra Starship and 3OH!3 I can take and I didn’t get to see Beatles Anthology when it was aired 20 years ago because I was in the hospital getting my hip replaced.

  59. I am go out and screw random people tonight. Thanks for the great idea Russell

  60. Just fyi, tonight is STILL about Michael Jackson. Not Kanye West.

  61. Can I pretend that I’m watching the VMAs?

  62. Leighton was super excited about that.
    Green Day cameo on Gossip Girl? Yes please.

  63. Aw man, did you see that? I had no idea Andy Samburg could do such a hilarious Shakira impression!

  64. That was classy, little emo-hair boy.

  65. Damn, my stream broke.

    • Where are you streaming it from, not that I should even be asking…I AM SO ASHAMED FOR ASKING!! I hate MTV… I haven’t watched an awards show since I was 14–why is this happening?!? What kind of monster are you turning me into Gabe?!?

  66. Taylor Swift sing-a-longs happen every time I get on the 4 train.

  67. macadocious  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +1

    omg u guyz. taylor swift is so awesome. it’s like she took her diary entry and made it into a song.

  68. Taylor Swift is going to make my train late.

  69. Can’t believe Taylor Swift called 50 Cent out like that, she’s got major beef on her hands. (TWSS)

  70. fuck i lasted 20 minutes

    does that mean i’m old? bring on the death panels

  71. Wow, what a touching tribute to Michael Jackson from Soulja Boy.

  72. is it just me or are the commercials the best part of this entire ordeal

  73. I wish their heads would really roll.

  74. Aw, shit, I thought that was real.

  75. Where is Tom Hanks and an electric chair when you need one?

  76. Is Pete Wentz a little person? I would’ve liked him a lot more if I had known.

  77. Is every musical performance deigned to make you listen to your ipod instead

  78. I’ve turned this on for five minutes and before being subjected to 3OH!3 I heard both Major Lazer and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. What the fuck is happening to you, MTV? Jay-Z and Beyonce go to see Grizzly Bear and suddenly I’m watching Pitchfork.tv

  79. i wish there was a way to unsee this

  80. Whoa, this Lady Gaga performance just went of the rails on the crazy train.

  81. Lol, leg piano.

  82. shit i’m back….

    AND WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY EYES!! AND WHO IS STABBING MY EARS!!!

  83. Wait, I lied. NOW it’s off the rails.

  84. when was it ever on the rails?

  85. Lady Gaga: ’cause dancing with a cane and wheelchair is SO this year.

  86. I like weird things as much as the next guy that likes weird things, but um, what the fuck was that!?!

  87. I almost want Britney to win just to see if Kanye goes insane.

  88. palo  |   Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 +21

    The Lady Gaga would have made a great monster in Pan’s Labyrinth.

  89. Wow Sears is making our children wannabe hipsters.

  90. Oh man, I could have been watching Top Gun!

  91. why couldn’t these tracy morgans videos be the WHOLE SHOW!!

  92. this is some brilliant marketing, the award show is so bad that it makes Jennifer’s Body look watch-able

  93. Tracy Morgan is going to fuck Eminem in the ass and make Eminem love him.

  94. does brokencyde have any videos nominated…one can only hope

  95. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT THING THEY JUST CUT TO IN THE AUDIENCE I’M FUCKING SCARED

  96. Holy shit, Lady Gaga’s outfit just got ridiculous to the 1,000,000th power.

  97. Oh good date rape jokes. That’s what this was missing.

  98. WAS THAT LADY GAGA WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN

  99. “Rising star, Lady Gaga?” Bitch, pleeze.

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