YIKES! Didn’t he learn the lessons of Naked Gun? I mean, I guess there is some difference between going into the bathroom with a live mic on and making hilariously long and outrageous bathroom sounds at a press conference about ensuring the Queen of England’s safety during her visit to Los Angeles and this, but STILL. It’s pretty similar! Besides, everyone at least goes to the bathroom, not everyone has illicit affairs with lobbyists to the specific committee on which you serve, in direct conflict with almost everything that you stand for politically.

“We had sex on Wednesday a lot.”
–Michael Duvall’s Tombstone

Actually, everyone involved with this piece is pretty much a Quote Factory. “Your audio tapes, sir, your very sexual audiotapes, any comment?” Very sexual audiotapes. I am sure I have a pulitzer around here somewhere, and when I find it, I’m going to PayPal it to that guy. (Via TheAwl.)

Comments (27)
  1. Jackie Jomp-Jomp  |   Posted on Sep 9th, 2009 +38

    Ahh…poor Michael Duvall. He was always on the lookout for a microphone hidden in a salt shaker, but he never thought to watch for the microphones hidden in microphones.

  2. I sent him three notes, he checked no on every box :(

  3. Hey, KCAL – stick with it, buddy! It took Charlie Sheen 6 notes before he got his interview.

  4. since even listening to this guy talk about sex is boring, i’m sure actually having it with him is a big ole snoozefest.

  5. I’m always surprised at how shitty other cities local news looks.

  6. God, how embarrassing. He actually uses the phrase “make love.”

  7. Spanking and having sex a lot on Wednesday is not a real big gotcha moment. Let me know when they catch him on tape talking about butthole pleasures.

  8. I’m waiting for the “sexual, very sexual VIDEOtapes” that surely exist to surface. Fat family-values pervs always tape their kinky lobbying sex.

  9. I am really interested in seeing what his “sexual conquests” look like. Blabber McChubs can’t do that well…

  10. “Much of the conversation cannot be repeated on television…….but some of it can.”

  11. “Operation Hot Assemblyman”

  12. Oh, Michael Duvall! Monday she can give you head. Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed. Thursday watch the wall instead (while she comes over in her underwear). It’s Friday…FRIDAY, peoples, that Michael Duvall is in love. What are we doing discussing him on a Wednesday?

  13. You’re boyfriend broke the number one rule of audio equipment: always assume your mic is on. He hates gays, likes eye-patch underwear, cheats on you with two other women, and has droopy balls. What are you waiting for? Marry him!

  14. Its funny because the most interesting thing about this story is that a douchebag was caught awkwardly trying to impress someone with his gross stories of 57 year old ‘sexual conquests’ (a term I believe is reserved for use only by the douchebaggiest). But of course the news can’t report a story as merely ‘douche chill’ so its like oh no what a scandal who would imagine a congressman could cheat on his wife. But really, what douche chills it gave me.

  15. Seriously, If you’re wearing a mic, don’t say something stupid! in fact, just try your best to not say anything stupid,ever, or talk about stupid things you’ve done, or, I dunno, don’t do stupid things! Just try!

  16. living in southern california…i have the utmost fortune of being able to watch kcal news whenever i wish….can we claim a monopoly on the pulitzer???

  17. I am wondering about something in this clip. Why do they feel the need to block out the guys head that mr. duvall is talking to? It’s not like he needs to stay unrecognizable because he did something wrong..?

  18. rebecca  |   Posted on Sep 9th, 2009 +1

    How long before Fox News puts a big fat D next to his name?


    PS: Check out this terrific story by my old colleague Scott Moxley. He gets all the grossest, greaziest stuff.


  19. I’m sorry, but did they say he represents placenta?

  20. rebecca  |   Posted on Sep 9th, 2009 +1

    Damn, he’s already resigned.

  21. *Dry heave* Ughhhh old horney Assembleymen *dry heave*

  22. What’s eye-patch underwear?!? I try to picture it but can’t figure out what the eye patch would cover…

  23. that’s my boyfriend’s dad.

  24. I’m going use the phrase “That’s your California Assemblyman” from now on to refer to creepy horny old men.
    “Sorry, Gabe, but this is your California Assemblyman. Have fun at dinner.”

    • Tooooooootally. It’s way better than ‘that’s your boyfriend.’ That’s your Representative! They REPRESENT you! Zzzzzzzzing! Have fun at dinner. omg lolz.

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