First, your honor, I present the evidence.

Article 1:


Evidence piece #29:

Bloody Knife!

I am going to throw the book at this evidence!

And before I rest my case…

So, in summation, Dan Humphrey lives at his ex-girlfriend’s house because that is a normal thing that people in high school do and is a sign of Rufus Humphrey’s good parenting. Serena Van Der Woodsen has become a favorite of the international paparazzi much to Blair’s tart displeasure, and one of the paparazzi (on the right) is basically a murderer, look at his face. Nate has taken up a job putting on all the make up. What better way to meet women in helicopters (the hottest new nightclubs are helicopters probably now). He loves to read the New Yorker Blobserver for all the latest political newz. Meanwhile, Chuck Bass is so rich that he can dress like a bellhop, and seems to have circulation problems (it can never be too hot? It can often be too hot, you should go to a doctor!). Absolutely none of them go to school. Sustained.

Comments (12)
  1. this site feels like Trailergum today.

  2. So Ronaldo is gonna juggle balls while “I make them good girls go bad” plays banana-phone style in everyone’s head till they all die?

  3. Your question was answered in the first line of the first video, “I see the cats out of the bag,” I mean its goin’ take an entire season to find one cat in New York City. BAM I just hit ya with some hard facts.

  4. Actually, Dan Humphrey is in college this season, no longer in high school. I’ll just see myself out.

  5. Ok this is totally unrelated, but I have to share: I had a dream last night that I was at Burger King, and when I walked past these douchey guys, I yelled PAH! at them. Unfortunately, a young boy who was also there thought I was yelling at his mom, and got upset, which led to some kind of formal Burger King grievance hearing in a back room, mediated by a greasy lawyer guy who looked a little like Michael McDonald. I had to apologize to the teary little jerk. PAH!!!

  6. some thoughts…

    they need to fire the entire hair department for this show because of those blonde girls. their hair looks wretched.

    man, it broke my heart when my family didn’t invite me to the annual polo match. such a burn.

    that chuck bass guy is weird looking.

    yellow jumpsuit girl must have upset the costumers because she can barely walk in her shoes and really? a yellow jumpsuit?

    that’s all i’ve got.

  7. This is not what I imagined “methheads in helicopters” to be like.

  8. If Serena got her hair blown out and it looked like that she has to start blowing better hair stylists.

  9. One thing is clear now: Gabe has a Google Alert for “Gossip Girl +(trailer OR sneak peak)”

  10. nedbread  |   Posted on Sep 7th, 2009 0

    I mean this show is so implausible, plus that AS355F Twinstar is so 1982

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