Trailer for season 6 of The Hills, you guys:

It’s hard to figure out what Kristin Cavallari says in the part that’s bleeped out. “You [bleeped] with the wrong girl, dude.” Hmmm. “You have devoted an unreasonable amount of your precious and limited life to being interested in the most vapid, insufferable, unwatchable, and also in addition to as well as with the wrong girl, dude.” That’s probably it. This show is Villard de Honnecourt’s elusive perpetual motion machine. They just keep shoving shitty nightmares down the funnel at the top (this machine has a funnel at the top where the shitty nightmares go), and the empty-drama-blades churn them into a bloody froth of self-satisfied nonsense, which is then reduced over an open flame of lukewarm schadenfreude and funneled BACK into the machine, and so on, the same poop, back and forth, forever.

I have to admit that MTV ended this trailer with a funny clip. IS his majesty going to wear that ridiculous cowboy hat everywhere? Maybe the answer is inside this gun! “Gun, is he going to wear that ridiculous cowboy hat everywhere? What’s that? You can’t hear my question? Let me put you in my mouth and see if that is any bett[gunshot]“

Comments (39)
  1. i hope the final season concludes as a real life battle royale. whoever survives can be crowed the king or queen of the worst, and we can finally be done with it.

  2. This nerd is wondering if someone can smack some knowledge upside his head and explain what “))<>((” means.

  3. She was yelling off screen to one of the MTV producers. they bleeped out “replaced Lauren”

  4. It’s a reference from Miranda July’s “Me and You and Everyone We Know”:

  5. I though that Lauren Conrad leaving would kill this show. Obviously the only way to kill it is to cut off “King” Spencer Pratt’s head.

  6. Can we pretend this never happened?

  7. maybe it’s just me…but i can’t be the only one disappointed in the scenes where spencer DOESN’T wear the cowboy hat…

  8. I refuse to watch this on the grounds that I am an adult and also a human.

  9. Did you guys read that story about how Brody Jenner and Joe Franklin got into a fight that ended with Brody Jenner getting tazed and Joe Franklin fleeing the scene after punching a girl in the face? Good times.

  10. I’m going to let the fact that the video won’t load on my computer be a sign.

  11. How single IS single?

  12. Spencer Pratt’s cowboy hat increases his douchebaggery by 300%!

  13. i mean, i would definitely need heidi and spencer to tell me when rehab is necessary. they know what’s up.

  14. I think the bleeped out word was “fucked”

  15. Look out MTV generation! This isn’t your older sister’s “The Hills!”

  16. Seems like the like the viral marketing campaign for “Wolfman” is ramping up. I mean, did you see that first guy (beard face) Kristin was talking too?

  17. things certainly seem to be heating up!

    • i wish i could upvote this a million times. i never condone violence, but the chick on the right did not see that one coming at all! hilarious

    • ow, that punching lady is really going to hurt her wrist punching people like that.

      straighten your wrist, rude surprising punch-in-the-face lady!

      also, that is a very nice example to set for a teenager. they have to hurry home, though, because ‘ow! my balls!’ is starting soon.

  18. Oh man, that Spencer quote on his name change is priceless: “I’ve decided since there is a Queen of England and a Prince William that there should be a king of America”


  19. I love (hate) how the first time we see Spencer express any kind of emotion that isn’t DOUCHEBAG, is when he’s asked about the hat. Almost as if he’s a human being now that he has a new title. No, wait, what am I saying? He’s still just a poisonous vapour brought forth by Ugh itself.

  20. “How single is single?”
    - Some random poser fuck’s tombstone

  21. poop back and forth. twss. hee hee.

  22. I guess Spencer is going for the timeless “Midnight Cowboy” look huh?

  23. The look on Spencer’s face when Heidi confronts him about the hat is the saddest thing ever. I just want to give him some hot cocoa and let him randomly stand behind me in a rap video to cheer him up.

  24. my, what a sassy little vixen that girl is! i can’t wait to see what mischief she causes! (i can wait. forever.)

    gabe, i appreciate your martyrdom for our enjoyment, but can we get you watching some things that don’t fill you with bile and a disgust? i am worried about your eyeballs.

  25. Stephanie’s got a lot of diseases she can’t get rid of.

  26. I hate this show and all the people involved and all that it stands for, but I genuinely laughed when Heidi asked, “Are you gonna wear that hat everywhere?”

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