Photos
It was a shark with a penis in its mouth kind of week! Although, for the turgid dog days of summer where nothing at all happens, things did happen. Like, R.I.P. Ted Kennedy. America will carry on without you, although we will have one less force for good to protect us. From the dangers that are all around us. Of course, we’re a little tougher now that we have our Marky Mark bodies. PAH! What else? Forks, Washington? No. Forks, Washington has gotten enough attention. So has Anna Wintour. Oh, there was this thing, if you missed it, because you really shouldn’t miss it.
And then, you know, one thing leads to another, Monday turns into Friday, and here we are again. After the jump, the five highest rated comments of the week as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment, determined in the same fashion, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
Someday you will self-awareness yourself into a wormhole.
Posted by: mike in response to A Stupid Person’s Pedestrian Thoughts About A Complicated Thing
Score = 46
I for one do care. I still love Seinfeld. The episodes hold up surprisingly well and I know plenty of people my age who watch it on dvd but were too young to really be into it when it was being produced (syndication neuters any good show so we won’t discuss the fact that it is still on tv all the time).
Jerry Seinfeld was an integral part of Seinfeld’s success (obvs), but let’s get real. This was Larry David’s show. The fact that they are all getting back together on David’s turf is awesome and guarantees this will be worth it.
Posted by: lizzing in response to Who Cares About The Seinfeld Reunion?
Score = 50
[Ed. note: Who cares about the Seinfeld reunion? You guys do! You mad. To be fair (to myself?) I didn't even say anything that bad about the show. I mean, I said that it hasn't aged well, and it hasn't. You guys know that. And I do think that Jerry Seinfeld has become a weird, smug, unlikable millionaire. So what? He can afford to bee that way (get it? Bee Movie. It's his favorite). But I said that the humor held up pretty well. And I complimented Curb Your Enthusiasm. And as far as the historical impact of the show in terms of shaping the future of comedy, who was even talking about that? This isn't Sitcom College. I was just saying that I don't care about the reunion. Like, I will watch it. Duh. But I am not about to, just as an example, go out and BUY A MAGAZINE because of it. But I get it. You guys are a bunch of rabid Seinfeldheads. Seinfeld is the new Crank. Duly noted.]
I just got back from vacation. We stopped at my fiance’s grandfather’s house. All he watched, all day, was Fox News. Then, Glen Beck came on. Gramps turned to Sci-Fi. (Sy-Fy, now–kewl.)
You don’t like Glen Beck? I asked.
“That guy is a jack-off.”–Gramps.
Way to annoy your target audience.
Posted by: TheJesusCodpiece in response to A Stupid Person’s Pedestrian Thoughts About A Complicated Thing
Score = 58
My favorite part of the original text:
And then naked Beowulf jumped
behynd a beer mug
so you don’t see his dyck
just like in Austyn Powers.
Truly a classic.
Posted by: bdglide in response to The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Beowulf
Score = 87
[Ed. note: if this hadn't been voted the most popular comment of the week, it probably would have been the Editor's Choice. It is TBS Very Funny.]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
look only gay guys and dumb women like this stuid stuff!!!
can someone tell what the numbers under my posts mean!!!!
Posted by: Josh Weezy Collins in response to I Don’t Care About Anna Wintour
Score = -37
[Ed. note: another week, another meta-troll. It is always hard to tell with these guys what is going on. The half-literate homophobia and misogyny of Josh Weezy Collins's early comments was almost too on the nose, you know? Is he a troll or is he a commentary on trolling? We have had this conversation before. It is a glitch in The Matrix. But I have to say that Josh Weezy Collins has grown on me more quickly than some of these other fair-weather-monsters. Welcome to Videogum, Josh Weezy Collins.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
Alright, I thought this movie was pretty brilliant (and also super academic) and I want to see if anyone buys my interpretation:
Basically, it’s not a movie about World War II. It’s entirely about movies and how film affects and distorts the way we look pretty much everything (but violence and justice especially). So the intended effect of the movie is go get the viewer cheering the heroes torture and slaughter Nazis, and then on the way home question whether we should be cheering at really over the top violence. It’s like Funny Games, but less judgmental. And there are all these other situations that explore how characters can’t really distinguish between life and the movies: how the British send a film expert to France as a spy, or how Zoller assumes he can win over Shoshanna by acting like a romantic comedy hero, or how Hitler sees a film premier as this really pivotal moment. So the ultimate effect of the movie is to set up all these fantasies and subvert the shit out of them. And then the movie explores how film acts as social glue (in the bar scene where the spy’s cover is basically his knowledge of film) or as a weapon (really obvious) or a deadening influence (the Nazis don’t hear all the gunshots because the movie they’re watching has a bunch of gunshots). So the message of the movie is “here are your fantasies. how do you feel about them?”
Now I was talking this over with a friend and he sez based on interviews he’s read that Tarantino seems to believe that extreme retributive violence is morally fine, and so the message I’m seeing isn’t intentional. But even then the movie’s still an interesting study of power fantasies, just an unintentional one.
Does anyone buy my theory?
Posted by: professor smartypants in response to The Videogum Club: Inglourious Basterds
[Ed. note: whoa. I don't know if I completely agree with this theory, or at the very least I think this theory speaks in too many absolutes. Like, for one thing: it is a movie about World War II. Maybe there is this other thematic, abstract interpretation running underneath, but it is also a movie about World War II. That is the thing about interpretations: there is no such thing as the correct one. I also think that this theory goes against every single thing that I have read about Quentin Tarantino's 'intentions' in making the movie. But that is the beauty about movies: intention, eventually, is meaningless. And you obviously bring up some interesting ideas. Most importantly, it is really nice when someone genuinely ADDS something to the discussion, which was the whole idea behind the Videogum Movie Club in the first place. It is too bad that this is your first and last comment, professor. Yours was a flame that burned too brightly.]
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 The New York Magazine Approval Matrix Is OUR Generation’s… |  Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments |  Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments |  Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments |
i see a bright future for josh weezy collins.
did you see when he wandered over to stereogum? after the twilight/deathcab post? http://stereogum.com/archives/death-cab-reveal-new-moon-soundtrack-single_086791.html
he originally had 3 comments. one of which was complaining about the site colors changing and that they should bring back the old colors.
haha, yes! I saw that! I actually smiled, i thought it was kind of cute :p.
i actually felt myself wanting to physically shoo him to the “back” button on his browser. “OH GOD HE’S LOST AND WILL NEVER FIND HIS WAY HOME! WHO WILL HELP HIM”
That’s funny/cute if it were true (Josh being confused about which site he is on), but he is clearly just trying to annoy everyone. That’s why I deleted two of the three garbage clown comments. Don’t feed the trolls.
I’m totally with you on the don’t feed the trolls thing but you and Gabe need to get on the same page. His Weezy is growing on me comment and the lovefest that ensued is probably going to mean 6 more weeks of this dipshit.
Except Weezy is closer to a Danny McBride character than you will ever be.
I agree with Run Away.
Also, Weezy pisses me off surprisingly less than you do.
it’s hard. they’re so hungry.
Gabe made weezy up to keep me off the list. im going to fuck you until you hate me faggot
Goddamnit buenosueno, why do you have to use our inside jokes? Now that’s dead to me.
I love it when trolls use our inside jokes. It means they really care about us.
relax, technojeremy
You’re doing it wrong.
buenosero2: buenosero harder
But I am the real buenosueno! Leave us, you impostor!
I hereby start the “Bring Back Professor Smartypants” petition, in an attempt not to bring back the user himself, but to bring back the mentality behind his post. We must be rid of the meta-trolls, the over-used insider memes and the ludicrous hunt for upvotes, and return to the simple days of giving long-winded well-thought out opinions that, as Gabe rightly pointed out, actually add something to the discussion.
I don’t know that we can’t have thoughtful conversation and inside jokes? I kind of feel like we already do have both.
Im not trying to ban insider jokes. I just think they’re being overused by people who could be saying something original and intersting.
Or maybe not… i dunno.
I agree to a point. I don’t find it interesting when somebody just comments “lol Gabe I’ve seen you shirtless.” But I think one of the great things about the comment section on this site is the fact that it mixes slapstick absurdity with what can be at times erudite commentary. There’s no harm in somebody throwing in a otherwise pointless easter egg for members of the community in between posts where people actually have something to say.
im gonna eat your asshole alive
I’m not afraid to say that I love Weezy and his comments have made me laugh, just like Da Cake Eatur’s did/do.
I just find them to be adorable. Like you know when you see a really big dog with that kind of blank, happy dog look on it’s face? Where it’s mouth is kind of hanging open and it’s eyes are just kind of looking off into nothingness, occasionally focusing on nearby food items? That’s how I imagine Weezy and Da Cake Eatur.
I love this comment so much.
You were great in “The Seventh Password-Protected .zip File”
I might agree with you about Weezy if he didn’t comment 200 times per thread.
lol!!! im sorry i just get bored!!! im kinda add and just wanna post more!!! lol!!!
Perhaps you should consider twitter.
“If you harbor terrorists, you are a terrorist” – America’s Great or Greatest President
Though seriously, I’ll never get Videogum’s weird Stockholm Syndrome with crazies. Hey, sure that monkey that showed up at the party is throwing shit all over the place, but he’s been here for awhile so he’s one of us!
Think about it, wouldn’t you rather be at a party with a monkey who throws shit. That would be hilarious.
Isn’t this kinda what parties in New Jersey are like?
Yeah, but without the whole monkey-throwing-shit angle. Besides that, you’re spot on!
Yes.
I am very much with you on this
Awww, you guys! I?ve never paid much attention to monster?s ball because I never thought I could get more than like +5. Secretly smiling about this victory. I have so little! Also, YA BURNT, Gabe!
thanks dogg!!! i thought you guys still hated me!! i tried harder at spelling i tried to be nicer and not talk about halter horses and stuff I tried really hard to be funny but all you guys did is insult me!!!! i dont know how you guys found out i was fat but its hard to lsoe weight!!! i work really hard and my dad is helping me but its hard cause i only see him every oter weekend i knew i never should hav told anyone at school about this website they probably told you guys to make fun of me and talk about cake and stuff i really dont like cake tho but you kept on saying i do!!!! i hate them for coming here andmaking fun of me i thought this website was a place where you could hide but its kinda just like real life if your not popular and cool no girls will like u and people will make fun of you and call you a cake eater!!!! but im really smart i just dont type well!!!! im only in 7th grad alright!!! and im not very good at spelling but im good at english!!! i really like poetry and write it alot at least you guys decided to like me in the end lol!!! ithought if i talked about body building and horses and manly stuff and act crazy you guys would like me!!! i thought if i acted cool youd believe me!! i guess thats kinda tru tho right dogggs!!!
jus b yrself dogg
Whoa, this shit just got all real ultimate power book all over our asses.
No, he’s just as stupid and fake as he’s always been.
Probably moreso now.
My opinion is that Da Cake Eatur just took some notes from the An American Patriot playbook: add some bogus, complicated background. Seriously. I now know more about two “fake” people on this site than anyone else. There’s a reason we don’t go around spouting our private histories.
I like you more now that I can reply to you.
All I see when I read your comments is “dogg” and “!!!!!!”
this has gabe written all over it.
does he not realize that if i get most downvoted for just one week, i will leave the site and never come back? instead he just didnt do the montsers ball for two weeks in a row when i was lowest because maybe he thought lindsay would fuck him, but she didnt and now he hates me even more because blue balls.
so now im gonna come to new york and sleep in your dorm room, gabe and kick the shit out of your roommate and sleep in his bed and fuck your RA and your teachers and even your professors too. you like that, bitch? you want some more of that? i dont play. all i know is making money.
Yes, because everything in the (internet) world is about you.
nice try, you just showed up yesterday. ive got multiple handles on this site too gabe.
Josh Weezy Collins may have won me over a little bit, especially with his love for halter horses, but you will always be annoying, no matter how often you use inside jokes or even quotes from The Royal Tenenbaums. You just aren’t funny at all.
then why’s everyone upvoting my other screennames all the time?
I don’t care how much you try to allude to it, nobody will ever suspect you of being da cake eatur.
What’s a fucking 68 year old doing in college? See now you’re just being silly.
Getting some design classes under his belt so he can come up with the next Winkers.
Why does everyone accuse Gabe of being these trolls? Don’t you think he has enough to do with watching terrible movies and purchasing Werther’s Originals and putting them in his wool sweater pockets? Besides, I’ve noticed the trolls had a thing for Lindsay… either they really loved her or really hated her. Poor Lindsay. Perhaps it’s better she left for her own protection.
But I have one question. Where the hell did you find smurf porn?
I thought you said you were in college.
I’ve got to admit, I nearly peed myself when he posted that picture on “How to get a Marky Mark Body”
Aw. And I was really hoping that AmPat’s Kennedy eulogy would make it: http://videogum.com/archives/death/heaven-just-got-a-little-more-ted-kennedy_086661.html#comment-4825051
Still, good week and all, guys!
His Kennedy eugoogooly really was great.
inside jokes create an outside, but BOY does it feel nice to be on the inside looking out and pointing with our evil monster fingers. just kidding. let me get the door for you.
why is this call ed the monsters ball?!?! lol it seems kinda crazy!!!
is you relly a hoarse?
haha no i just wnated to talk about horses!!! i guess your still mad about that sextape i found of you!!! lol dont worry dogg i know its not you just like i know you arent really a smurf!!!! lol!!!
Valiant try, Godsauce.
Jesus. Never thought I’d say this, but how can you NOT like a guy who writes things like “ithought if i talked about body building and horses and manly stuff…?”
You did it the old fashioned way, Weezy; you earned it.
As someone who is prone to insufferably pedantic rants, I am glad to see one appear in a congratulatory context on the Ball. That said, anyone who thinks the inside jokes should go away can just have fun at dinner as far as I’m concerned.
<3 you, Carrie.
Ha! I’ll never play your stupid poularity contest upvote game.
hi i’m a stupid moron with a big butt and my butt smells and i like to kiss my own butt!
I’m gone for a week and we get a new troll? And we already like him? Aw… I missed all the fun.
TEAMKATE seems to be a new troll people have taken to as well. She’s nowhere near as prolific as Weezy though. I don’t know if it’s just this week, but it really has been Trollgum up in here.
While it’d be fun for a second and a good story, it would go south after you realize your apartment/you are covered in shit. I’d personally take a non-monkey shit party over a monkey shit party. (talkingstove’s campaign slogan. Vote for the stove in 2012!)
To put it another way, hlebtastic likes monkey scat orgies!
If you know of any make sure to extend any invitations my way.
As a long time Videogum lurker, I am absolutely convinced that Da Cake Eatur/AmPat/Josh Weezy are the same person. I could list a bunch of reasons why I’m so convinced, but I don’t know if I want to show the extent to which I’ve been thinking about this at work.
Seriously, just think about it people. It all adds up.
List away! I suspect we’ve all done our share of paranoid obsessing on this question.
What if every troll on videogum was the same person? What if every account on this website besides yours was the same person? What if every person on the internet except for you was the same person??
have fun at dinner gabe!
So agree. Just like the possiblity of life on other planets, there is the possibility of more than one moron knowing how to operate a computer.
I understand that the white, landowning Gabe comments and you all rush to doublethink. When will you sheeple learn you are being high school?
Oh, and I forgot to mention the teenage girl character that talked like Da cake eatur that he used briefly, until he accidentally posted an AmPat rant using the teenage girl avatar. That was the last we saw of her. I can’t be the only person who remembers that.
gavin derrrr yorrrso fukkin cutee!!
babyy i love yooh and we need to talk moree!
iloveyoohhhhhh(:
In case you thought we forgot
http://videogum.com/archives/psas/uk-antibinge-drinking-psa-tells-us-more-than-we-really-want-to-know-about-brits_073031.html#comment-3826371
I’v got to admit to this one. I’m Taaylor. It wasn’t really for any trolling purposes. She’s a girl that comments on my younger brother’s myspace (his name is Gavin, duh), and it was me messing around with him by posting her on here. I then made her last post look like the Patriot because hey it makes it more interesting.
But I really don’t want to run him off now. Dude is writing a book!
Dude, lame.
I know, but it was more of a “haha I know he’ll read this” thing that I post. Plus, I didn’t intend it to be but a one off thing. It’s super lame, and I apologize for TESTING everyone, but I needed to get that off my chest because shit is getting crazy up in here.
Whoa. This is some The Usual Suspects shit.
personally, i’m a huge fan of kurt vonnegut. When I saw Inglourious basterds, it reminded me a little of Slaughterhouse-Five in that those committing egregious violence were on both the percieved good side and the percieved evil side, where the practical morality of the characters on an everyday basis becomes ambiguous. So I saw it less as a commentary on film’s effect on people (though I think that argument has a lot of merit) than on the desensitizing effect of taking sides in the first place. When Zoller had to watch the violence he’d committed on screen, he was obviously sickened, showing some of his humanity and remorse. On the other hand, our heroes the Basterds never showed any remorse for their brutally violent actions, which we got to see in graphic (and cathartic) detail. I just thought it was odd that we saw the human side of a nazi who’d killed 250 (or whatever) of our boys, but we never needed to see the Basterd’s humanity, since the premise of the film already justified their actions. I couldn’t help noticing the parallels between Zoller in the bell tower and when 2 of the basterds were in the theater booth, spraying bullets down on the Nazis. Sure, the nazis deserved it. Of course. Seeing hitler’s face turned to swiss cheese was great. But it was brutal to the point that I felt a bit uneasy about rooting for the good guys.
Perhaps it’s just the view from this urine soaked mattress, but I kind of felt that these comments were all kinda wack… On the other hand, it may be the case that this pungent ammonia scent has altered my senses… Anyways, Big ups to god and to everyone who has been there since day one… And I can’t forget the fans… You know who you are…
I think the Seinfeld thread backlash got a little out of control, but it is one of the best shows ever and has a rabid fanbase and when that happens, a lukewarm reaction can be more infuriating than a negative one. If you are wondering why people got so mad, Gabe, just think about your reaction to another show where fans (and, seemingly, you) are clamoring for a reunion: Arrested Development. Imagine if someone came along and said “Arrested Development’s humor holds up OK. Kind of. I guess. But why would anyone care about an Arrested Development movie?” Feel that blind anger building in your chest? OK, maybe you don’t, but I’ve been around rabid AD fans and even “I don’t see what the big deal is” are fighting words. When it comes to beloved shows and their fans, there is no grey area.
Yeah…..in ten years we will see how well Arrested Development holds up. Are you familiar with the Monty Python Efftect? Basically when MP came out it was all the shit and range and everyone was all like “HA HA I have never seen anything like this before. I am going to go and write letters to all my penpals about how great this show is. I will use a pen and paper to compose my letters because there is no computers yet” Now to those of us whom remember before computers Monty Python probably still holds some laughs. To the rest of us, not so much. Buy why? Because its soooo damn influential. Everyone, everyone has learned from Monty Python’s Schoo of Being Funny. When people without an emotional attachment to the show watch it today, its just weird and mostly lame…….because we have seen the same jokes done to the n’th degree. Its not new anymore. Same thing with Seinfield. Everyone went and starting doing Seinfield themselves and now we have seen Seinfeild over and over again without even watching the show. So as long as you are not emotionally attached to your TV shows its not “fresh” anymore. In ten years, we will see how influential Arrested Development is. If its not at all, maybe it will hold up. If everyone learns from and expands from Arrested Development’s School of Humor then it will probably be pretty tame and mostly just kinda weird.
Also: whatever.
I see your point, and I totally feel you about Monty Python. That sort of seems to be the problem of evolving pop culture discarding what was once very funny and influential as newer styles of comedy come along. I Love Lucy and the Honeymooners are a great example of that, too. I’d rather watch paint dry than those shows today.
But I don’t think your theory about AD will hold up because another majorly influential show does not fit this theory. The Simpsons, seasons 1-9 (the new seasons are dead to me). It has been super influential and is still hilarious HILARIOUS when you revisit old episodes. I can’t see anyone saying the Simpsons falls flat after all this time, despite my handicap of clearly being a superfan. And I’ll reiterate the distinction between the old vs new episodes is essential.
I didn’t mean to get all visiting professor of sitcomonomics on that one. I just felt like it was worth mentioning that maybe the people who felt Seinfeld was a smart and influential show might care about a reunion, and that wasn’t really mentioned in the original post. Or, you know, don’t mention how Seinfeld was influential. Whatever. Let’s paint, exercise, and only care about things that are important to each of us. That’s fair. THERE IS ROOM IN THIS WORLD FOR ALL OF US.
I was trying to explain to a friend what this web site was all about and when I googled it I found this:
http://www.aboutus.org/VideoGum.com
That’s the greatest thing I have ever seen.
That’s a buenosueno job 4shur. All the signs are there: the gabe-hate, the insensitivity, the disregard for the site and readership, the inside joke.
That guy. What a dedicated little monster.
If anyone here prays, I think bueno could use our prayers. Get a life, dude.
JR= buenosueno
I think the comment that still makes me Lots of Loves was this one by whoa! on Soulja Boy:
“whoops, but seriously, he could probably use 2 wallets.” http://videogum.com/archives/music-related-content/boo-hoo-soulja-boy-so-sad_086831.html#comment-4840191
And to think it was a reply to a double post! Love it.
so nice! thanks
godsauce, best. gif. ever.
You’ve clearly never seen the giraffe fight gif.
Clearly. My apologies.
I question professor smartypants. Only a sith speaks in absolutes.
Isn’t the statement “only a Sith speaks in absolutes” an absolute itself? Maybe you should rethink the sources from which you derive your personal philosophies.
Shout out to the global warming! Get at me dog! This
mattress is literally SATURATED in urine btw. Too much Family Guy styled humor on this site for my discerning tastes…
Let me save you some tizime:
Score=2000
Call Guiness beeotches!
Hmmm, you may be a troll, but at least you’re embracing who you really are: a guy who sleeps on a urine-soaked mattress.
I think you guys aren’t realizing that beunoseuno, passerby, etc could literally be anyone at anytime. I know I’ve posted under their handles before in an effort to screw with people (by making them actually add to the conversation), but I didn’t come up with the names.
I think they’re slowly becoming a catch-all username for anyone who is on this site and just wants to be an outright asshole.Also, their tone and style’s are inconsistent. Not in the way AmPat or Da Cake Eatur have gotten (that’s more like fake complexity), but they just out right feel like someone different doing it.
For example: look at Passerby in this thread. Your English is too good, champ!
So the other ones weren’t me. Also, I such at html apparent. But hooray my point has been proven
I do not such at html!
Did I mention I’m beuenosueno and passerby?
Okay, that last one wasn’t me, guys. Obviously someone is trying to prove my point for me.
maybe you should just register…
ha ha. disregard that, i suck cocks
I don’t know why you’re hating on this film. It’s a wonderful film about learning how to be nice to people. Maybe if you stopped being such an asshole, you could recognize that. This movie inspires people to pay it forward; just the other week, i was delivering someone a punch to the face to recorrect their douchitude, and, you know what? they thanked me for it.
Keep your douchitude in check.
Score? -101
Wow you guys hated him!
If I remember correctly, he was a real asshole when he first started posting and then he started being nice. I tried to hate him for a long time after people started liking him, but i just didn’t have the will.
so when is the new post gonna happen doggs??? if you want i can do one ill even do it word so there are no spelling mistakes or anything!!
I forgot to logout. Uh oh, I’m weezy guys.
I actually just wanted to get in on this anonymous commenting action… Believe what you will though.
You clearly aren’t Weezy, you only spelled doggs with two gs and only used 2 exclamation marks. Stop trying to sneak aboard Weezy’s Cinderella pumpkin. He has to be home by midnight (he’s got school) and your weight is dragging him down.
You clearly aren’t Weezy, you only spelled doggs with two gs and only used 2 exclamation marks. Stop trying to sneak aboard Weezy’s Cinderella pumpkin. He has to be home by midnight(he’s got school) and your weight is dragging him down.
This thread turned into an Identity Theft fest really fast. It’s just downright creepy at this point.
gabe stop trying to convince me that you aren’t weezy.
WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE???
we are buenosueno and you are in buenosueno’s world. now take this dick and stick it in y mouf foo!
Alter ego city.
I know, right? I’m just glad Walker finally told me I have AIDS…
Prediction from the whizz-drenched pillow-top mattress: in 1 month I will be running these comments… Bow down. A monster balla’ rockin’ da monster’s ballz!
Shout-out to Big Terry! Get yo money right.
ok. this is fucking ridiculous. I’ve been reading videogum since its conception and I can’t recall the exact date of the first troll appearance, but it really changed things for me. I used to relish reading the comments because ya’ll are funny and the same little avatars every day are comforting, in some strange way (I am not insane and I have friends) – but now I just get annoyed at people’s nonstop desire for attention, albeit the negative kind. the trolls have gotten lazy and unfunny and I genuinely miss the calculated sloppiness and hidden wit of old friends like Da Cake Eatur. now the ends of threads just descend into chaos, the most ridiculous of which is right here.
can’t we all just get along? comment in a productive, wholesome way? eat our brussels sprouts and get to bed by 8:00? I understand that this is the internet and none of us are ever going to meet, so why not be a dick, but can people respect that this is our Monster Family and we are good to each other? that’s what I’d like to see.
Yikes! The anarchy on this thread is crazy! Have we crossed some horrible threshold into an e-world of trolls and multiple accounts and usernames from which we may never return? I want ViGum out of this vortex before it’s too late!
I KNOW. Videogum IS UNRAVELING at the SEAMS. By the way, I just WANTED TO let YOU know (because you asked EARLIER) that I updated and SHOULD DO SO again on Monday.
I know I’ve been shitting all over your “book” parade, but I just went to czech it out and um. It’s actually pretty awesome. I still think you’re a troll of the most trollish variety…but that part about General Gabriel Delahaye was pretty inspired. But since I remain convinced that you are a troll, I must say that your commitment to the act is pretty freakishly unwavering and elaborate. This will definitely make it into the Videogum story on This American Life (which is a thing that is absolutely going to happen, you guys…see below).
Did anyone stop to think that it’s possible Gabe created buenosueno as a way to eventually make register everyone who wanted to comment as a way to create an online database for whichever corporate conglomerate they end up selling this thing to… possibly even the government? Like the way Bush set up the events of 9/11 to justify war with Iraq.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes!
So, I had fun this week.Yes, I am a troll, you all guessed right. It’s gotten ridiculous to the point that I now have to turn in my badge and my weapon.
I am not AnAmPat, I am not Da Cake Eatur, I am Run Away(Yeah, I screwed up.) and my sister is Sonya.(She was in on it, but don’t take anything away from her, she is a legitimate commenter.) So basically, I was sick of the trolls. I wanted them to stop. Yes, they were hilarious at times, but they were ruining the comments. The thing is though, we kind of troll ourselves. We all post ridiculous stuff and have inside jokes and maybe have too much fun at dinner. So much fun, that people characterizing and commenting the nature of trolling are naturally going to be eventually loved by the regulars, as they get the joke. It’s bad though. I had been lurking for a long time, and I decided to do something about. I created a character with the intent of playing the typical troll as straight as possible, go all postmodern and stuff, picking something crazy, and just going for it. It wasn’t fun though, and you guys were sick of commentary on trolls so I had to change.
Weezy was originally just a run of the mill douchebag, but as I continued he changed. I don’t remember when I decided to make him a kid pretending to be older than he was, but I feel like that was one of my favorite things about him. I started to post as him as if I was posting as my own middle school self; confused and just trying very hard to be liked. (I was awkward, overweight and lonely back then.) My friends often say that when I am with my family I act exactly like a Danny McBride character (making the fact that Kenny Powers hated me hard to swallow,) so I began to take it in a new direction. I rewatched Easbound and Down recently, and had actually seen The Foot Fist Way for the first time the week before. That was where a lot of Weezy’s comments came from, me trying(and sucking) to be a young version of a McBride character. I grew up in Pittsburgh, later moved to DC and now go to school in Boston. (One of my roommates is named Nick, I’m so fucked.) I knew a ton of Kenny Powers and Fred Simmons and probably used to be close to resembling one.
So what’s the point? I’m done. I’mnot trying to be noble, or seek your praise, I’m just being honest. I’m sorry for the insanity. The lawnmower man must be furious. I had my fun, and tried to do more than be incoherent, I tried to make something. I sucked though. Whatever. I was so happy some people enjoyed my nonsense, it was really nice for awhile to read this thread. I am glad to share it with you. I failed at stopping the trolls though, and just made it so so much worse. For that I am very sorry. Maybe if I ask nicely the other trolls will stop. So trollazos, can you cut it out?
Also, it was wrong and dickish of me to post on Ted Kennedy’s eulogy thing. I felt really bad after that. Whoever pointed that out really made me feel like an asshole.
Gabe, you are awesome, I am the worst.
What I’m trying to say is, I am your boyfriend. All of you. (I probably should be banned from ever using one of your inside jokes again.)
im gonn ride my halter horse into the sun doggggs!!!!!!!!! hahaha lol!!!!!!!
That’s lame, I had it all out in nice paragraphs..
http://www.w3schools.com/TAGS/tag_br.asp
So, what did you do so no one could reply to you?
Also: Are all the trolls coming out now?
I’m not a troll, but I’m an ally. Straight, but not narrow.
Oh yeah, I also didn’t do anything to disable replies, that was a result of the quotes in my name, once those were removed, you could all respond to me.
Wait, how did you think you being a troll would make Da Cake Eatur, Patriot, beunoseuno, etc go away?
Well, I certainly pissed off AnAmPat a lot. I haven’t seen him post recently, I believe he is Da Cake Eatur as well actually.
NAH MAN you didn’t PISS me OFF. I just needed TO TAKE SOME time out to write my BOOK. I can’t be here ALL THE time YOU KNOW!
No HARM NO foul, by the way. I just WISH THE trolls here WOULD DIVERSIFY with their styles A BIT. And the not replying THING FREAKED me OUT. I didn’t want TO GET A virus YOU know!
Hope YOUR WEEKEND is going well.
Weezy never had the stamina of AnAmPat. Within a week his troll-personality crumbled and he was forced into some crude “coming-out-the-closet”.
An Amercian Patriot has been posting for way way longer, and still there is not a capitol letter out of place. Kudos to you for your breathtaking consistency in the face of short-lived wannabes.
I wish I was as clever as you…. Your reading comprehension is off the scale!
Thanks? I’m not TRYING TO be anything BUT myself. If you GUYS WANNA label ME as a troll, I’m NOT GOING to fight IT. I’m too OLD for that.
Also, what is YOUR AVATAR from? I’ve seen it ON SOME DAMN SHOW I think one of my kids WATCHES, and it’s DRIVING ME crazy.
I didn’t really intend to label you as a troll. I think you’re beyond labelling.
The ‘bot in my avatar is Mr Butlertron from Clone High, a show which died a premature and undeserved death.
OH SHIT, I knew I KNEW IT. Will FORTE WAS in that shit.
You’re much better at this than me, and I didn’t copy Da Cake Eatur’s style, I just tried to write like I would imagine a seventh grader trying to be cool would.
I think you sounded like Tracey Morgan’s Brian Fellow character from SNL, at times.
I’m actually not familiar with that character, I’ll check youtube though. Is that a complement or an insult? (Some people hate Tracy Morgan, especially pre-30 rock.)
It’s not an insult…just an observation. I think that sketch was brilliant. Hope you can find some clips on YouTube.
Thanks then!
OK, well played but I’m not buying any of this. I don’t want to get into this too much because I”m supposed to be getting ready for an engagement party right now, but I still think Weezy/AmPat/Da cake eatur are the same person, as well as Runaway, maybe Sonya and god knows who else.
I know I sound like a Videogum conspiracy nut, but the Weezy/Da cake eatur personas have way too many similarities. The lols, the exclamation points, the similiar naive persona, pretending to like things you know most videogummers think is lame, the same tone and the same sense of humor.
Also, I can tell you’re very intelligent, you’d have to be to create a persona like AnAMPat. And intelligent enough to create more than one effective mega troll. Most trolls are just stupid people. I seriously doubt there’d be more than one intelligent troll on this site. Even in your Weezy confession post, I can still some hints of AnAmPat, when AnAmPat make one of his more though provoking posts. The same tone if that makes sense. I can’t explain it well.
The fact is you’re smarter than me and I don’t think this is a battle I can win or necessarily should win since AnAmPat has made a greater contribution to this site than I ever will. So from now on I’m just going to pretend that Da Cake eatur is really a naive innocent, adorably trying to make sense of the world around him. And AnAmPat is an old man with 2 or 3 kids, who writes novels with videogum personalities in them in his spare time.
Ok doctor, I’m ready to be put away. I knew I should have chose the blue pill.
I think An American Patriot is actually Tom Arnold. Weezy and Cake Eatur are the same person though and the guy is so full of shit that I can’t stand it.
I tried to toss you a bone buddy, but you just couldn’t catch it. I think it is a shame that you get to call yourself Kenny Powers when its obvious that you’d masturbate on some paper, forget about it, come back later and call it literature. You’re in love with yourself, and your particular brand of arrogant fuckery is much worse than mine will ever be. doggggg
HAHA Weezy I am sorry FOR THIS and Kenny YOU CAN be a DICK, but if you KEEP UP the posting OF PICTURES like this, I really CAN’T ARGUE. And if I was TOM Arnold I would SHOOT MYSELF like 20 TIMES.
Also, OLVE I am not DA CAKE Eatur or Weezy. Though people tend TO LIKE DA Cake Eatur so thanks FOR THE COMPLIMENT I guess.
Yeah, I got nothing against you KP, but you can be a bit of an asshole. You’re a dick with an assumed identity and yet you have some kind of vendetta against the trolls. Your dick on toast post was hilarious though so I don’t mind it.
Awww…hope you had a fab weekend writing, American Patriot. So cool. I miss ya when you’re not here. XOXO
“I started to post as him as if I was posting as my own middle school self; confused and just trying very hard to be liked”
your middle school self, you say?
I guess I’m still that same kid, scared, crying and alone.
i just don’t understand why you’ve decided to present yourself this way. i don’t know. someone earlier said there’s a reason we don’t say too much about ourselves. and ultimately, it’s because we don’t have to. it doesn’t matter who you are in real life. these people have worked up reputations with their wit, their ability to type, and their ability to navigate the internet. those are the skills required to, what?, fit in in a forum like this: be under twenty-five or have otherwise acquired computer skills somewhere and be able to express, in writing, consequential things that pertain to a certain conversation begun by some particular post. it’s almost selfish, what you’ve done. you’re using videogum to gain attention, to try to be someone somewhere. and that’s cool and all, but you’re going about doing it in such a heartbreaking way.
I guess you don’t have to, but I feel like the anonymity of the internet might be its downfall, by presenting this ultimately irrelevant info about myself, maybe I’m becoming a bit less faceless? I dunno, you bring up a lot of good points and make me feel like an attention starved asshole, but maybe I am one after all.
What does that make Da Cake Eatur and An American Patriot then? Super attention starved assholes?
well, i’m not sigmund freud…
I think that at the end of the day, everyone on earth is just an attention starved asshole. That’s who we are as humans. The internet is proof of that. This website is proof of that. Everyone on here is seeking attention and (in most cases) approval. Look at facebook and twitter. It’s being attention starved combined with self obsession. We suck. We are, in a way, our own boyfriends.
Lauri Ann West, you are like a piece of saran wrap: Totally transparent. You are just more of Cake Eatur’s Tyler Durden bullshit.
Fuckin a, Weezy. I was casually perusing this thread when I saw your comment saying “I guess you don’t have to, but I feel like the anonymity of the internet might be its downfall, by presenting this ultimately irrelevant info about myself….” and I think I screamed, internally. I mean. Well. I guess, welcome to the non-troll sphere of Videogum. I’ll miss the halter horses…
What happened to “oh doggg”? Now you write in complete sentences and almost correct punctuation for us? Hmmmmm…..
Bravo, astro. That was a really nice way of saying what I was thinking. When did this thread become so “Marsha Marsha Marsha?” Oh yeah, when Run Away started saying “Me! Me! Me!”
Personally, I think that having so many personas was just too much for AmPat/Cake Eatur/Weezy/Run Away/ Sonya/ who ever else and he needed to dump three fast so he did it this way.
It’s like everything I ever knew was wrong.
Who knew trolls lived in rabbit holes?
The comment section in this blog is so goddamned self aware it kills me.
Yo I be a troll and I’m on da ‘gum/ I’m young, I’m dumb, and I’m FULL of cum/ hearing me rap is like curing the aids/ call me gillette fusion cuz I carry 6 blades/ monsters ball is a big pizza party/ but now I gots to mcfly… Call me Marty.
Word. Peep the technique. Shout out to crazy Luke… Keep it in yo jeans, partner!!!
Oh man, if only I could post hi-fucking-larious pics like you!
Oh, wait…
I gotta take the Barney Frank route out on this one. I have no interest in arguing with a dipshit dining room table.
I think its safe to say that you don’t have a leg to stand on in this argument anyways. You are a troll, only instead of posting nonsense you dig out your harddrive of porn/images you’ve collected over your miserable existence so far and slap one up here. You’re just bitter that Da Cake Eatur, AnAmPat, and I did it better than you. I was willing to fuck you till you loved me, faggot. But not any more. NOT any more!
By the way, when you cranked that comment out did you stare at it for 6 minutes, proud of your “genius.” Dipshit dining room table! Man, sounds like you jacked off on paper and forgot about it.
Whatever you say buddy. You are a genius.
Meditate on that…Rape.
Fuck you Fred Simmons. You are another Weezy duplicate account and I’m starting to see some shreds of truth in your Danny McBride obsession confessional. You need help.
I swear to god, that guy is not me. I am being completely honest about my accounts, I have no reason to lie at this point.
No. Jujitsu sucks.
DAMN WEEZY you ain’t TAKING any prisoners. THIS SHIT is going to get ROUGH before it GETS BETTER. Josh “Weezy” COLLINS will definitely be IN THE book AT some point. You’ll be in it FOR AT least the ATTITUDE, Guns. Can I call YOU GUNS? I guess you guys SHOULD BOTH be called Guns.
Do you MIND IF you’re in IT?
Only if you refer to me as GUNS and Weezy interchangeably, I’d be honored doggg.
You have to call me BIG GUNS dogggg.
Double the post for double the guns.
Wait… we can get in your book?
sO i NeEd SoMe TiPz WhEn iT cOmEs 2 BeIng a TrOlL. I wAnT yR sUpPoRt. I wAnT 2 bE yR bOyFrIeNd!!!!
Oh God. We’re going to have to reboot Videogum to save it you guys. Reboot it Jurassic Park Style.
Someone find Samuel L. Jackson!
“They should all be destroyed!”
I’m still not convinced Weezy isn’t Gabe. Only Gabe is terrible enough to write a confession letter like that urging all the trolls to stop. Where’s Lindsay when we need her?
iF u ThInK gAbE iZ WeEzY u MuSt Be CoUsIn-FuCk ReTaRdEd LoL
You guyssssssssssss! Trolls would not be a problem if we were capable of just ignoring them completely. Sure AnAmPat is a “friend” now but I don’t want him updating us on the “progress” of his “book” or whatever on these threads, that is not the point of these threads! Also, he is clearly not a patriotic dad-type, he probably doesn’t even have kids, he thought he recognized Mr. Butlertron from “a show his kids watch” when he really just vaguely remembered it from when he was 15 and watched MTV in 2002. Da Cake Eatur is whatever. I’ve never felt that he was particularly adorable. My theory is that all of this corroding self-awareness and non-registered mindfuckery will continue until it reaches some really unfortunate nadir, at which point Ira Glass will pick up on it and Gabe will write another This American Life story about the whole thing.
I hate all of this so much. BURN IT TO THE GROUND.
I know you’re joking, but I really like the idea of Gabe writing a TAL about vgum trolls and the monsters who grow to love them.
It’s what happens when you don’t have a denmother, all the cubs go crazy. Lindsay WHERE ARE YOU?
wUt a ThOtFuL tHiNg 2 SaY bRo I aGrEe
I spy another Weezy account.
HEY I’M sorry CARRIE. I normally WOULDN’T tell people I’M UPDATING (and I haven’t in the past, only when I first had IT TO LET people know), but KISS THE Pan directly ASKED me at one POINT. I felt like I HAD TO LET him/her KNOW. I’m sorry FOR ANY PAIN this may have CAUSED. I feel like AN ASSHAT WHEN I post it; I’m not HERE TO ADVERTISE myself. I write for MYSELF. Y’all have just PROVIDED THE inspiration. I’m also GLAD YOU like it. I’ve always LIKED YOU Carrie even when YOU HAD LITTLE French SNACKYSNACKS for your picture. YOU GOT YO shit, and WE STILL ain’t ready. I know you don’t LIKE ME, but I guess I’M JUST SAYING I’m damn GLAD we’re neutral.
Also, I’m done with THIS THREAD because IT IS out of control. I’m COMPLETELY okay with voting for your REQUEST to BURN it down. We need to START ANEW, probably. HOPE YOUR weekend ends WELL.
“LITTLE French SNACKYSNACKS” = We can be friends now.
I don’t know what it is about 1:27 AM that makes me feel uncharacteristically generous to the “regular” “trolls” but I’m just now realizing the subtle genius behind KP’s posts too. A lot of times it is just nonsensical and frankly assholish but that double cat, like other ones, is great. How does he decide what to post so quickly? Does he have all of these pictures on his hard drive or does he have to do Google search for “startled cat with askew pupil”?
You know what, I’m just going to go to bed for god’s sake.
Sorry sorry! I was just curious because of the recent lack of updates. I will inquire at the direct source for future questions. (Also, though Calvin’s transmogrifier and the Mr. Show quote username are decidedly unisex, I am a lady [or "fly honey," as Marky Mark would have it] so there you go…)
This is kind of a stretch, but has anyone here read The Man Who Was Thursday? By Chesterton? Because this is the internet version of that.
Okay, that’s it. I’m coming clean. This really has gone too far. When some moron makes a loose association to my favorite book in the world that the readers of this site have no business knowing about I have to draw the line.
At first, the only reason I visited this site was to read WMOAT. The first ten or so of those things were some of the funniest stuff I’d read in a long time, and Monday became something I actually looked forward to for a change. On those Mondays I’d check out some of the other posts and sometimes there was some funny stuff that I otherwise wouldn’t have found.
I really felt like I’d stumbled upon something great and I really tried to play nice and add to the threads. But once a person spends about a week on this site and watch the reactions to comments one quickly realizes that this site is regularly read by some of the most self-righteous, meanest, and most (unknowingly) unintelligent people in the world (Internet).
Any opinion contrary to yours (and yes I am generalizing, but forgive me for arguments sake), not matter how well worded or apologetic would be rained down upon with the most insanely idiotic venom from the collective circle jerk you guys have going here – Gabe and Lindsay never daring to call you out on it (were they in a agreement or were they too scared of alienating their core audience – either way it’s deplorable. I witnessed this and I wanted to burn this motherfucker down, plain and simple.
So, I went after Lindsay. Her blatant and unabashed shoving of her political and moral ideologies down our throats on a site where she has no business doing that coupled with your unconditional love and support made her the obvious target. Was I sad when she left a few weeks after she started doing this? Yes. Times are tough and you never want to see anyone lose their job, but I was more sad because I knew that I’d have to start going after Gabe and I liked and respected Gabe. He is unbelievably smart, funny, and talented and the only reason I can think of that he’s still writing here and not making millions doing something else is because of the whole wrestling with cocaine addiction for six years thing.
Then he started this Monster’s Ball thing and I was by far the lowest rated two weeks in a row and he inexplicably did not have the Ball for those two weeks. One week is a coincidence. Two weeks is suspicious. If it was true, I understood. I went after his friend and he’s a gentleman so he didn’t want to give me any recognition for my antics. As unethical as that is, I can forgive that. But, in the name of ethics, that didn’t mean I was going to stop trying. buenosueno earned that lowest rated and he was going to claim what was rightfully his.
Since then it’s been a battle of attrition. And in that battle my original goal of exposing the ignorance and hypocrisy within these threads fell by the wayside. I let things get out of hand. I’ve got much better things to do with my time and am ashamed that I’ve wasted so much of that life in pursuit of such a meaningless goal instead of adding something good to the world. It’s pretty pathetic. But you might reflect on this: maybe Videogum’s Gotham got the villain it deserves?
Anyway, good luck to all of you. Don’t hate so much. It breeds cancer and humility and forgiveness are great for your complexion. If I do post again, which I probably won’t it will never be as buenosueno and will instead be my other handle brightboy which is registered so you’ll know it’s me, and you can downvote in kind.
Oh wow! I did not expect that to happen by bringing up G.K. Chesterton! I am sorry if I misrepresented that book, it’s been years, but I’ve read a good deal of his other books (Orthodoxy, What I Saw In America, Heretics, What’s Wrong With the World, Manalive! etc etc) and he’s something of an intellectual hero of mine. AT ANY RATE. It was sort of a late-night cast off comment, but looks like you’ve had a lot brewing for some time! Subversion on the internet doesn’t… work? I don’t know what “work” means in this situation. I mean, I guess you just pointed out the errors of your own ways, but you had some strange expectations for people here. Just be nice. When people are mean, just be nice. It’s hard! I don’t love being called a moron! But to you I’m not a person, I’m text! At any rate, I’ve gotten better at keeping my responses to things measured and respectful, and most of the time, people play along eventually. Customer service? Whatever. Have fun and don’t fall down the Internet.
I don’t get it. I find that most people on here are actually nice and intelligent and funny, which is why I bother visiting this site. With a few exceptions, I think that (if you really are the buenosueno that has been commenting on here), you have been the only one making hateful comments. Sure, we all love to hate on certain people like Michael Bay and Glenn Beck, but it’s just for fun. Most of the people here agree for the most part on stuff we like and stuff we don’t like,which is why we all continue to visit Videogum. If you don’t like it, you are free to read Gabe’s posts that you love so much, and then hey, why not just skip the comment section?
Are you seriously blind to the irony of saying that Videogum commenters are some of the “most self-righteous, meanest, and most (unknowingly) unintelligent people in the world (Internet)” and so you decide to attack Lindsay, not only for what she wrote, but personal attacks too? I love that you think you have the right to judge all of us, when you don’t know anyone here for who they really are. Everyone likes to make comments, try to get a few people to read it and laugh, and everyone likes to argue once in a while. Great, we’re all human. But you come in completely judgmental, hateful, and feel like you need to teach everyone a lesson about our hypocrisy? Dude, that’s just sad.
I sort of agree with you, but I also sort of agree with buenosueno. I think a lot of people here, and all over the internet, are very jaded. The anonymity of the internet has allowed everyone to forget that the people on the other end are actually humans. Everyone expects the worst from everyone else and, maybe because of that expectation, everyone on the internet is the worst. It’s fun and all, but I have to say, it’s really nice to see some people on here being really genuine. I think it might be getting all therapygum in this thread.
I know, I hate the fact that I’m taking all this so seriously. But judging from buenosueno’s little confession up there, he strikes me as a pretentious, egotistical hypocrite, and I really can’t stand that kind of person, especially when they turn it into a personal crusade and get some kind of smug satisfaction at being contradictory.
You’re definitely right, buenosueno is a total hypocrite. I meant it more generallly, not just applying to him.
i post
i post
So I think the AT Fields seperating us and allowing us singular identities have been dissolved and now we are all merging together into one incomprehensible mess of orange goo.(NGE reference for the nerds like myself.)
I think Pandora’s box has been opened…
What the hell is going on here? Seriously, it was funny at first but now this whole thread is just embarrassing. I liked the Monsters’ Ball but now it really feels like it’s ruining Videogum. I’m embarrassed that I care about this site as if it matters, and I’m embarrassed for everyone trying to get some sort of meaningless recognition. I need a vacation.
Maybe this was a purging exercise? When the Gabe’s away the monsters will play indeed.
I know what you mean. It feels a bit awkward to say, since I’ve been so excited about making the Ball, but it’s really hurting the overall videogum experience.
I think so, too. Maybe we should just do 5 editor’s choice instead? That way, people would focus more on contributing to the conversation, instead of plugging for upvotez?
That might be too simplistic, or optimistic, but it seems to me that Gabe’s choice don’t follow any specific rhyme or reason. He doesn’t seek out the post that is most sycophantic or inside joke-ish. he just finds the ones that are good or capture the mood of the week. What do you guys think?
Oy with this drama already.
It’s like e-middle school minus the awkward, painful handjobs. Everyone’s a mean-spirited goon, wants attention, wants to be liked. Dwayne won’t stop acting like a jock. Jeff has worn the same “Property of My Kids” shirt for a week, but no one’s brave enough to tell him he’s the smelly kid. Sarah recently started writing a comic book with you as the main character. Brittany and Tammy talk all the time, annoy everyone, and then turn out to be doods.
Yo… Let the beat bump (for realz)… 4/4 time (keepin’ it orig in dis thang) Turn up the high hat in my headphones, Vasquez. Y’all slept on my first joint but I’m coming hard with this one:
Critical meltdown, the ‘Gum is set to self-destruct / Cats be lookin’ for that fame and the end result is f***ed / Weezy got da fame and we goin’ for his crown / The trolls are on the loose and the systems crashin’ down / Smurf sex, equestrian and fake gangsta flex / Working-out, bodybuilding, guy stuff and pecs / Takin’ protein powder to make the big gains / Red Bulls for the power and Head & Shoulders for that mane / Commentin’ bout da polotiks and the movie Transformers / while girls be droppin’ panties as if they were ankle warmers / These rhymes are unique with the motive and the drive / I ain’t the Red Cross but I’m on a blood drive / Going for that gold, the glory, the jewel-covered Timex / This face is taking names and this dick is writing checks… (laser sounds)
JUST a sample… how we do. Big ups to my “Under the Bridge Troopz”… going technicolor on dat azz… Rub my belly for that audio-jelly… until next time and the next rhyme… off the dome, free-style poop, y’all. (dry ice begins to clear)
out… out… out… (fade out).
(close-up of a urine saturated mattress – Ken Burns Effect)
Fuck! This is unreal!
Fuck. Hate that it’s 5:00 AM and I just read this whole thread.
(Have fun at dinner, every single one of you.)
LoL tHx BrO!!!!!!!
What the fuck is going on in here?
We lost like 4 trolls and gained two more IN THIS THREAD?? This is what Monster’s Ball does to people. It’s all the comment voting that drives everyone crazy. Jesus.
In the confessional spirit of this absurd thread, I’d like to come clean. I’m really Becca.
You just esploded my head. Thanks a bunch.
After reading all of this mess, all I can say is, you guys seem awfully surprised that people aren’t what they seem to be on the internet.
I also have a confession to make: I am both Kim Zolciak and FRED.
I guess now’s a good time to just come out and admit it: I’m also Godsauce, Carrie, Becca, and Kenny Powers.
And technojeremy.
And Gabe.
Hence why I just now uncharacteristically lauded Kenny’s picture-posts, apropos of nothing, when last week I had said that I hate so much about the things he chooses to be. I was really just giving myself a compliment.
Self loathing is inevitable with multiple personality disorder.
And I actually don’t exist……
and I am That One
My head hurts. Did Videogum really just board the Event Horizon and cross an interdimensional gateway into hell?
This is like sleeping with a coworker over the weekend. Monday’s gonna be awkward.
YUS!
I really wish I could see Gabe’s reaction when he reads this thread; “I wonder what the monster’s have been up to since Fri-OH HOLY JESUS”
I guess what I really mean to say is I really wish the cops hadn’t disabled the surveillance equipment I set up in Gabe’s room.
That basically describes my reaction to this thread after being away all weekend.
Stop it you guys! I hate it when you do this! Why can’t things be like they were?
[Runs under bed]
I’m really hlebtstic. It sucks, I wish i was somebody else like everbody else.
How does that suck?!? You’re in Patriot’s book; you lucky asshole.
I know! Since everyone else is confessing their deep, dark secrets on this stupid thread, I just want to admit that I’m totally jealous of everyone who gets to be a character in his novel.
Seriously. I’ve been trying to prove myself worthy of his book since it started. Screw Monster’s Ball, I’ve been striving to prove myself to Pat.
TO TELL the truth, .BYAN., I wanted TO PUT YOU in the web BACKGROUND, but I could figure OUT WHAT THE fuck your avatar was. I seriously GOOGLED that shit FOR A day. You were ALWAYS GOING to be a character AT SOME point, but I guess YOU WOULD have known it then. I couldn’t just OUTRIGHT ASK though, that would have been weird and spoiled the SURPRISE OF the picture.
A lot of the REGULARS/original COMMENTERS will probably POP UP at some point. No one IS SAFE though.
Yeah, you have to work .bryan. in. The guy’s an icon. p.s. I love the crack about my name being nonsensical.
You have no idea how exciting that is. And the reason you couldn’t find my avatar is because it was a picture of me on halloween because I couldn’t find anything else. Then some CARTOON said I looked like a bloody Billie Joe from Green Day and I knew I had to change it. And my face, apparently.
hlebtastic! I’m an icon?! How bizarre!
Livin the dream, .bryan., livin the dream. I am jealous.
Word
I’ve got to say, I really enjoyed your avatar. I’m going to miss it.
I’m sorry, but I can’t remember your avatar… and I’m really curious to see what it is now :p.
I second that. I think you need to post that for us forgetful old folk! *pulls crumpled tissue out of her cardigan sleeve to blow her nose–stuffs it back into sleeve* (That’s in reference to being old–in case other peoples’ grandparents didn’t pull that magic-tissue-up-the-sleeve trick. Who could blame them, though, those rose-coloured elastic-waist-ed polyester slacks were flawed for their serious lack of pockets.)
What I’m trying to say is, please refresh my memory of your past avatar, so I can reminisce appropriately. Thank you.
I used to really hate you, AmPat, but now every time you comment I get warm-fuzzies.
This is 10x funnier if you picture a ‘roid raged Charlie saying it while trying to eat a sandwich.
What the hell is going on here at Videogum?
This might be the most entertaining and depressing threads in Videogum history.
What the hell.
*hasn’t visited Videogum since friday night*
Shit just got surreal.
this is one of the stupidest things i have ever seen.
guys. this is a comments area on an entertainment blog. no, it’s not real life. WHO CARES IF THERE ARE PEOPLE PLAYING CHARACTERS? if they have nothing to say, just don’t respond. if they’re willing to stick it out and create more fully fleshed out characters (AnAmPat – you magnificent bastard, Cake Eater) then, sure, pay attention. but what is all the hub-bub about?
sheesh.
Forget it, Videogummers- this is batshit-crazy-insane town.
THERE IS NO YOU! THERE IS ONLY ME!
I hate being the Jennifer Aniston of this site…. always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Or when I AM a bride, my husband fucks Angelina Jolie, and well, there you go.
I miss Friday Night Fights
I think this may have been the best Friday Night Fight EVRR… I have been away this week, but I’m glad I decided to do my homework and catch up–this comment thread has incredibly enjoyable with a hint of
and a couple whaaaa?? thrown in for good measure (and laffs).
You guyz R the BEST; all of you!
This is all disgusting. Stop trying to open our eyes, trolls. We love being monsters
cremaster and commander
OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED HERE