Soulja Boy just wants to be taken seriously as a rapper. He doesn’t understand why there has to be so much hate in this world. It can’t possibly be because his music is complete garbage and because even in a video purporting to be a measured plea for respect he has to sit around pretending to talk into a stack of money like it’s a phone. That can’t be it. People are just jealous, probably, frustratedly checking their status on the Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt waitlist. Wondering when they will get to wear oversized costume jewelry like some kind of sight-impaired grandmother. “Finally, I can tell the time on this clown watch.” Why can’t you just let him be great? (I don’t think we are the thing holding you back, son. Also, you ARE successful, so what are we even talking about here?)

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Comments (50)
  1. I remember the moment I found out ‘people’ actually listened to Soulja Boy and he existed in this world beyond that “do the airplane” (or whatever) bullshit like it was 20 seconds ago because it was 20 seconds ago.

    • “Do the airplane” is such an adorable misunderstanding of what is actually a disgusting misogynistic lyric. Please never learn the right words and their meaning, it will ruin you.

  2. dude needs a wallet.

  3. dude needs a wallet.

  4. whoops, but seriously, he could probably use 2 wallets.

  5. Dude made this song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blruwJNpYe0

    I don’t even know what that means.

  6. leave it to soulja boy makes the sense of hearing a handicap.

  7. Im not sure he has enough jewelry on. He could use more jewelry.

  8. He’s right. That is real shit.

  9. Soulja Boy just wants his jewelry to be taken seriously. Is that too much to ask (that is too much to ask)?

  10. Why won’t you just let Soulja Boy be great?

  11. He should really consider diverting some money from “cars, clothes and hoes” into some treasury bonds or a CD. I’m thinking (praying) that he’ll need some money for retirement soon.

  12. “Today I realized that I am not perfect,”

    It took him this long.

  13. I made it to ‘I’m in da boof wit marijuana eyez.’ and couldn’t go any further (medical reasons).

  14. soulja boy has a few good songs tho i used to like him a lot but now hes not so good

  15. he raps like a 9 year old white girl with downs.

  16. So much derision. Let’s not forget that he is an actual child warrior

  17. This has all the hallmarks of a great music video within the first 30 seconds: talking into a stack of money like a telephone, attacking youtube commenters and auto-focus. That’s how you video!

  18. I need to give myself another mental shampoo after that. (“Another” since this would be my second today. I’m a firm believer in daily mental shampoos.)

  19. Can someone please explain “i got swiss in the cheese but I don?t yodel” to me?
    Cause apparently I have officially now turned into my Mom.

    • Hi, Professor Reynolds Rap here:

      “Swiss” refers to Swiss bank accounts, known to be extremely secure and private, and are often misrepresented in films and television shows as being used by millionaires to protect their riches, or criminals to hide ill-gotten wealth. In hip-hop vernacular, “cheese” is a slang for money. Citizens of Switzerland yodel, apparently.

      WELL PLAYED, SOLDIER BOY TELL THEM.

      • If swiss = bank, cheese = money, shouldn’t it be “I have cheese in the swiss” and not “I have swiss in the cheese”, which would mean “I have bank in the money”?

        Ugh, forget it Pep, it’s Soulja Boy Town.

  20. “Every day give yourself a mental shampoo.”

    - Soulja Boy

  21. I like how when he pulled out that stack of cash at about 2 minutes in, he looked at it to make sure he had the phone pointed the correct way.

  22. This might have made me LOL except for the fact that he is on my 27 club list. I feel a breakdown or suicide coming.Despite his hundred of attempts to seem otherwise he is an intelligent kid. If only he had guidance and direction. I just can’t help feeling :( for this guy.

  23. What a special fucking snowflake that guy is, huh?

  24. “call me a fire hydrant, I bring the hos out.” this made me LOL.

  25. Soulja Boy is as great as his eyebrows and his eyebrows are terrible.

  26. These are all ACTUAL SONGS but this Soulja character:

    ~ Booty Meat
    ~ Gucci Bandanna
    ~ Yahhh!
    ~ Booty Got Swag
    ~ Yamaha Mama
    :( just doesn’t say enough

    • I have heard none of these songs, but from title alone, I’m not sure I agree with you everywhere.

      ~ Booty Meat – concur, truly nauseating.
      ~ Gucci Bandanna – has potential. It’s not an Ed Hardy bandanna, after all.
      ~ Yahhh! – maybeee!
      ~ Booty Got Swag – ???
      ~ Yamaha Mama – kind of amazing actually. I assume this is an ode to ladies who have riding mowers.

      • Yahhh! is to soulja boy as Pah! is to marky mark. not to mention the fact that the music video has a claymation version of soulja jumping all over the place like a cracked out version of pong.

        I’m truly ashamed that I know that.

  27. Isn’t his tone an admittance of defeat? Sitting alone on a stoop with only your stacks of fake money to keep you company? This is just :( stretched to four minutes.

  28. I just wait for the day that everyone realizes that he is the master P of the new millienium.

  29. Monkey  |   Posted on Aug 27th, 2009

    I love his impotent attempt to inspire followed by his runing whatever modicum of sucess he might have achieved by his insaitable need to scream gibberish-

    “No one person on this earth can change they past, but every single person on this earth can start today and change they future………….BEAZZZY!!!

  30. Really, Soulja Boy? Reeeallly? I could whip up that beat in about four minutes, your video looks like a cheap student film project, and your lyrics sound like the journal entry of a 14 year old girl.

    I mean, I know I shouldn’t be surprised by how mediocre Soulja Boy is, but has he spent all of his money on diamond encrusted XBoxs already? You would think that he could possibly produce something that doesn’t look so blatantly cheap and amateurish.

  31. since it wasn’t mentioned, i should say that ‘successful’ is a drake track.

  32. been had counting fail

  33. This shit doesn’t even rhyme.

  34. What do you mean it doesn’t rhyme? “Clothes, ho’s, I suppose”. He’s a POET. The “I suppose” give the listener a sense that Soulja might be having second thoughts about Ho’s. He definitely wants money and clothes. But he’s still on the fence about Ho’s. Shit is deep y’all.

  35. just to let everyone know this isnt a soulja boy song. the beat and hook are from trey songz and drake’s track “successful”, which if you listen to nyc radio is on every single hour. soulja boy had nothing to do with the track, this is just him putting shitty bars over it and making a stupid video.

  36. truth  |   Posted on Aug 28th, 2009

    soulja boy wuz actually spittin the truth here….i give him respect now…he has garbage songs because the record label has him attached 2 strings and is using him to portray a specific commercial image…thats what this song is about…hate if you want to…haters

  37. is it sad that the first thing that really bothered me was the illogical statement about falling down 7 times but getting up 8? did he go through mitosis after falling down the last time?

    which brings up new questions…can the world handle 2 soldja boys? are there enough terrible beats for 2 SB’s to make? is it fair for 2 SB’s to beef with 1 bow wow? forget health care, THIS IS A VITAL ISSUE!! I AM YELLING!!

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